Occasionally, in deference to a formal occasion when I’m wearing a dress, I will wear flats, although the minute we hit any temperature short of actual summer, I opt for boots instead. And on the beach, sandals are great, maybe even on a summer afternoon. The rest of the time? Sneakers.
And no, I am definitely not talking about athletic sneakers. Those have their place, of course, but I’m not showing up for work in a pair of New Balance: I’m wearing stylish Pumas with a paisley pattern, or glittering red Converse. The truth is, I’m just not comfortable in what I call “grown-up lady shoes,” and I think that stilettos, wedges, platforms, and yes, even flats, fall into that category. They’re all grown-up lady shoes, and when I wear them, I feel like a 6-year-old going to a birthday party in an old episode of Leave It to Beaver, where the girls sported starched dresses and the boys slicked their hair back and wore ironed slacks.
For many years, I worked at music networks, where jeans and sneakers were perfectly acceptable no matter what your position. When I got hired to work at a less youth-oriented company, I suddenly panicked. I lamented my situation to the head of music programming, and he cheerfully offered a solution: “Why don’t you go out, buy a bunch of really funky, stylish sneakers, and make that be your quirk?”
And so it has been, and so it shall be. Here are 10 reasons I wear sneakers, even though I’m supposed to be a grown-up lady:
1. These shoes are made for walking, instead of just posing.
2. You can also pose in them because they look awesome.
3. They come in an unlimited array of colors and styles.
4. They don’t require any sense of balance whatsoever.
5. They don’t go clack-clack-clack and startle people you work with.
6. You can not only walk to work in them, you can walk for miles in them.
7. They cover your entire foot, so nobody notices when your polish is chipping.
8. They cover your entire foot, so you don’t get cold in air conditioning.
9. Did I mention they cover your entire foot?
10. They don’t hurt. Ever. Because your wardrobe is not supposed to hurt you.