You know what? Pregnant ladies get a lot of shitty advice and comments thrown their way. From total strangers asking deeply personal questions to family butting in about how to feed the baby or how to sleep train, this poor mama will hear it all. If you want to be that supportive friend who has her back, then make sure to tell her these 10 things every 9 month pregnant woman needs to hear:
1. Take a nap! By the time she reaches the longest month of gestation, she is going to be exhausted by the mere suggestion of movement. And since she probably has a million things to get done before the baby comes, now seems like the best time to suggest a nap.
2. Here, have some cake! Cake. Mmm, cake. Who cares what the doctors said about weight gain? HAVE SOME CAKE. Tell her that she is beautiful. Tell her that she deserves a treat. Tell her that every woman who is willing to shred her body in order to produce life deserves at least a slice or five of cake.
3. Let me clean your house. There are always those friends who make offers to cook or clean for a pregnant friend but then don’t follow through. Be that friend who shows up with a Swiffer, a mop bucket, and a few hours to kill. Oh, and possibly bring cake.
4. I love that name! I don’t care if your pregnant friend wants to name her baby Coconut Moonbeam, your only response should be that you love the name. Period.
5. I have no parenting advice. Unless she asks you something directly and specifically like, WTH is colic, you lie through your teeth because seriously, she is about to give birth, she doesn’t need horror stories about crying babies.
6. You look fabulous! You know what? Let’s just file this under Things You Should Always Say, not just to pregnant women but also to moms. Let her discover her post-baby muffin top in good time.
7. Every labor is different. When your pregnant friend begins to show fear, just remind her that she is tough, her baby is tough, and every labor is different. There is no hard and fast rule that says this pregnancy will be the most painful, the most complicated, or anything else. Tell her to take a deep breath; she’s got this in spades!
8. Are you hungry? The answer will be yes. Of course she is hungry. How could she not be? Get this woman a hoagie and a slice of cake, stat! In fact, don’t even bother asking. Just start making a sandwich right now. Or maybe pie. Oh, and something crunchy too!
9. Want to watch a Netflix marathon? Let her relax and watch an entire season of Orange Is The New Black while you both look at baby gear on Amazon. This will be an afternoon of relaxation so epic in comparison to her immediate future that she will look back on it fondly for years to come.
10. No, a minivan will definitely not make you less cool. Driving a minivan probably will make her less cool, because she will be a mom, and let’s face it, moms just aren’t cool. But right now, your pregnant friend doesn’t need to hear that. She just needs to know that some part of her former childless coolness will remain intact while she opts for the vacuum attachment for the trunk.
Sometimes it is more important to settle nerves with a loving smile and a cake offering. In her last month of pregnancy, let her bask in her glow while she chews and watches you clean her house.