Back-to-school already? Yep! I’m sorry to say, that means you can put away your lazy-hazy summer days. Of course, those sun-filled days weren’t all rosy. You worried about your kid forgetting his goggles, leaving his wet swimsuit in the bag for a week, and getting sunburned on his nose, where he refused to apply sunblock. Yes, you did have some summer worries, but they pale in comparison to middle school and high school worries. Take heart, though, not all of these concerns are epic—some worries are the size of Snickers minis, while others are more like king-size Hershey Bars.
1. The worry: Your middle-schooler won’t like the school lunches.
The bigger worry: He’ll like the school vending machine.
2. The worry: Your daughter won’t be invited to her classmate’s sleepover.
The bigger worry: Your daughter will be invited to a sleepover by a classmate who is just getting over lice.
3. The worry: Your son forgets to set his alarm.
The bigger worry: Your son sets his alarm to play “Uptown Funk.”
4. The worry: Your daughter wears makeup.
The bigger worry: Your daughter steals your favorite eye shadow and lip gloss.
5. The worry: No one invites your daughter to the school dance.
The bigger worry: A boy invites your daughter to the school dance.
6. The worry: Your daughter won’t get into Honors Algebra.
The bigger worry: Your daughter gets into Honors Algebra, and you have no idea how to help her with her homework.
7. The worry: After school, your son becomes a couch potato.
The bigger worry: After school, your son wants you to drive him to baseball, hockey and football practice.
8. The worry: Your daughter doesn’t wash her hair for two weeks.
The bigger worry: Your daughter dyes her hair purple.
9. The worry: Your son needs braces.
The bigger worry: Your son needs braces, a retainer, palate expander and night headgear.
10. The worry: Your pint-sized daughter won’t make the cheerleading team.
The bigger worry: Your pint-sized daughter makes the team—as a “flyer.”
11. The worry: Your son decides he no longer likes the flute.
The bigger worry: Your son decides trumpets are cool.
12. The worry: Your daughter spends all of her time texting.
The bigger worry: Your daughter spends all of her time texting someone named “Romeo.”
Have I scared you yet? Don’t feel bad; I’m scared too. But remember when your kids started preschool? They survived. And so did you! Now it’s time to put on our best smiles, and even though we’re worried about a bunch of stuff, we can never let them know it. My best tip? Swallow that Snickers-mini worry in one gulp, and take big bites out of that king-size Hershey Bar worry. For real! Chocolate makes everything better. And just in case, hide your favorite eye shadow.