Lifestyle

13 Ways I Cut Corners Around The House

by Joanna Myers
A woman drinking a hot beverage peacefully on the couch while surrounded by a mess of toys
pixdeluxe / Getty

There has been a lot of talk about hot mess moms lately and I’m starting to have to admit to myself that I might just be one of them. While my house does get a once-over cleaning every Saturday when the whole family pitches in, I have trouble maintaining the stamina to see it through to completion. After I’ve been at it for a few hours, I’m the first to admit that I might cut a corner or two in order to be done before the next millennium. It’s survival. And weekdays are a total write-off with work and extracurricular activities so spreading out the workload isn’t really an option.

Here are some corners that I have been cutting in order to survive. It’s time to stand up and embrace our jagged corners fellow hot mess moms.

1. The pots and pans.

I hate to even admit it, but there are some nights when after I get the dishes loaded in the dishwasher and the food all put away, I’m wiped. Totally wiped. So the pots and pans go into the sink to soak. And they may or may not still be there tomorrow. Just sayin’.

2. The crockpot.

Whoever invented the crockpot was a genius, but whoever invents a self-cleaning one, will be a billionaire. Those things are a pain to clean. So it might just be soaking too.

3. The laundry.

Gets washed, dried, folded and …. Not put away. It sits in the basket until I am forced to empty it to make way for another clean load. It’s a vicious cycle. And hey, 3 steps out of 4 ain’t bad.

4. I vacuum around stuff.

Yup, I don’t always move everything and vacuum underneath. I’m sure that the object on top is affording some level of protection against dirt to the bit of floor under it. I’ll move it all once in a while for a deep clean, but not even close to every time. Sorry. (Not really that sorry).

5. My car.

The entire thing. I have no excuses. It’s not pretty. I’m sure the kids have spilled some milk at some point that they didn’t tell me about too.

6. The steps.

So when we tidy up the main floor, sometimes stuff that belongs on the 2nd floor makes it to the steps and no further. Oops. Maybe time to move into a bungalow?

7. Not making the bed.

Sometimes — okay, lots of times — I’m in a rush in the morning and make my bed at night before I get in. Does that still count?

8. I don’t always follow through when my kids leave crap lying around.

Sure, sometimes I do. But not always. Am I creating a new generation of hot mess moms? It’s possible, but right now I’m too tired to care. They are nice people so far so that’s what I’m hanging on to. Hot mess? I’m not that fussed about it.

9. I don’t put the toaster away.

Or the straightening iron. Or the hair dryer. Anything that gets hot really. I feel uncomfortable putting hot things in a drawer so I leave them overnight to cool. If things don’t get done right away, unfortunately, they go back to the bottom of the list. So if you come over and you see my straightener out but my hair is super curly? I apologize. It’s finally cooled down now.

10. We have two nearly empty bottles of almost every condiment in the fridge.

Ugh, cleaning out the expired and half-empty condiment bottles is a monumental task in a very busy world. I will get to it, I promise. Eventually.

11. Shoes.

I don’t understand shoes. I’m pretty sure they multiply like rabbits while we are sleeping. And no one seems to put them away without excessive nagging. By the front door? By the back door? There are shoes. So many shoes. And sometimes they stay where they land.

12. The vacuum (or in the case of central vac, the vacuum hose).

On the weekends, I’m pretty great at finally cracking out the vacuum. Giving everywhere a once over (behind careful not to move any furniture of course unless it’s deep clean day) and then for some reason, leave the hose out for the rest of the weekend. Is this my way of proving that I vacuumed? Am I subconsciously bragging? Hmmm… I’ll have to ponder that one — when I finally put the hose away.

13. The mail.

The mail may just live on my kitchen counter until recycling day. Then I can go through it all at once and get rid of it. If you need a timely answer and it’s before recycling day, then best just call.

So there are lots of household chores that I just can’t seem to get all the way done. A lack of time and energy have forced me to learn the art of corner cutting. In the name of survival.

So if you come over to my house and happen to see a basket of crap on the steps waiting to go up, just quietly take it upstairs for me and no one gets hurt. And I’ll do the same for you. What corners do you cut in order to survive?