16 New Words Parents Cannot Live Without – Scary Mommy

16 New Words Parents Cannot Live Without

There are some things about parenting that no existing English word can quite capture. Here are 16 new words parents cannot live without.

16 New Words Parents Cannot Live Without

I started to panic when I told my kids they had to clear their plates because there are starving kids in Africa – my mother’s voice came out of my mouth. Classic case of momophobia.

16 New Words Parents Cannot Live Without

I got a text from Krystyn’s mom telling me that the other moms don’t like my contributions to the after soccer snack. I’ve been snacklisted. It’s kind of a relief, really.


16 New Words Parents Cannot Live Without

Krystyn’s mom snackstabbed me! First she snacklisted me, then she had the nerve to steal my idea for gluten-free, sugar-free muffins with carob frosting, decorated with raisin and sunflower seed flowers. She will rot in hell for this.

16 New Words Parents Cannot Live Without

We all know who this is.


16 New Words Parents Cannot Live Without

Mommy, I ate Krystyn’s muffins for snack. I don’t feel good.

16 New Words Parents Cannot Live Without

This makes my day so much better.


16 New Words Parents Cannot Live Without

We all know who this is, too.

16 New Words Parents Cannot Live Without

I don’t believe in vaccination; I’m going to tell the school system I have vaccipation for religious reasons.


16 New Words Parents Cannot Live Without

I hate being a schlepherd. Especially because Jacob usually sharts on me when I carry him.

16 New Words Parents Cannot Live Without

Only 1 Xanax left. Spring break is next week and the kids will be home ALL DAY EVERY DAY! I’m starting to xanic.


16 New Words Parents Cannot Live Without

If you don’t start behaving at daycare, I am hiring a tyrananny!

16 New Words Parents Cannot Live Without

I’m spankrupt. Time to contact a tyrananny.


16 New Words Parents Cannot Live Without

My mother was so yelloquent. The whole neighborhood could hear her tell me to stop wiping my nasal emissions on the tapestry.

16 New Words Parents Cannot Live Without

Roger, your ability to have multiple snorgasms is ruining me. This has to stop.


16 New Words Parents Cannot Live Without

Stop being such a shartyr, Ken. We all know it was Julie.

16 New Words Parents Cannot Live Without

I had to take Jack across town yesterday. Bless his heart, his pissipline was admirable.

What do you think? Can you come up with more new words? Maybe we need to start a New Unabridged Parent’s Dictionary!