Dear asshole in the baseball hat who came to my house,
You started off on a bad note by not only ringing the doorbell three times, but banging on the door as well. I heard you the first time but was feeding a sleepy baby. Now he, along with his brother, are up and crying. Thanks to you.
I do not want to buy a collection of encyclopedias. I do not care that Mrs. Jones up the street bought three. Or that Mr. So-and-So bought seven. Or that the weird lady at the corner got them for all of her grandkids. I don't know my neighbors and don't give a rat's ass what they own. Impress me some other way.
I get that you want your trophy or trip or whatever it is you are working towards, but I am not obligated to buy from you. If you were selling a single book, maybe I'd be in. Asking me to buy a series of 12 books 'ain't gonna happen. Rolling your eyes at me really doesn't help your cause.
Next time, see if the Mister is home first, because he is the sucker here. He's bought the newspapers and cookies and subscriptions and pizza coupons which aren't accepted. You'll have better luck with him. Or, better yet, skip my house altogether.
Now, be on your way and tell all my neighbors about that Scary Mommy who had the audacity to say no.
Buh-bye.
15 people who actually care:
Oh dear, poor you. I know exactly what you mean and just how pissed off you must feel. Let's hope you scared him enough to tell all the others not to visit your house!!
XXX
I hate that. Was it a group from Ireland? The one who came to my house was named Barney. Go Figure.
I hope he spreads the word. We have on average, maybe 5 people a week. It drives me nuts!
No, not Irish. And he was in his twenties. The young ones get to me more. Why do I care what my neighbors bought? Are people really competitive about that? I think it's so bizarre!
I never buy door to door. Or over the phone. If you want to sell me crap over the internet? I'm in.
Thanks for visiting my blog, I subscribed to your feed cause you're FUNNY. Also, you curse on your blog which is awesome.
I cursed on my blog this week and an ANONYMOUS PERSON! TOLD ME NOT TO! How come that doesn't happen to you? Huh? Maybe I should do it more often, and chase the curseophobes away.
That Girl, thanks! I, too, buy anything on-line. I've made some pretty poor choices, but at least they were mine! I wasn't pressured by some random guy at my door.
Nan, I can't stand anonymous posters anyway. But, an anonymous person telling me not to curse? They can go to hell! :P
I'm so proud of you for sending him away in such a forceful way!
And anyone who wakes a sleeping baby deserves more than that!
I hate pushy teenagers. I remember being one but I still can't stand them. Last time this happened to me, I looked all scared and told him my husband didn't allow me to have any money or to write a check and he'd be awful mad if he knew I even opened the front door. The kid left post haste.
2 things:
1. Have these people ever heard of the internet? Why in hell would anyone buy encyclopedias these days? By the time they are 4 your kids will be able to find the recipe for building a nuke with ingredients in your kitchen online. You don't want information sources that will be dated before the third installment payment.
2. I've found that the secret for no one knocking on my door is a Belgian Shepherd. No salespeople, no guys in white shirts and black ties, nobody. Just sayin'.
Ashley- that's really funny. I should try that next time!
Scott- You'd think Penelope would have scared him. Or the two kids screaming. Or the look on my face. This guy was unflappable.
And yea, who the hell needs encyclopedias these days? Stock in Google maybe, but encyclopedias? BAER :)
I thankfully don't get a whole lot of that... and when I do I'm super bitchy...
Ooh.. I hope anonymous curse scolder doesn't visit my blog... I life the 'f' word.
I totally hear you about the multiple knocks/doorbells. Way to wake up the baby, dude -- get things off to a good start, why don't you?
What really bugs me the most, though, is when I tell them I'm not interested, and they ask, "Why?" As if I need to justify myself to them! I used to try to answer them, only to have every point I made shot down -- oh yes, please browbeat me into a sale, I'm sure to love that.
Now I just tell them to take a hike. Sheesh!
Bean - I love when your potty mouth comes out. Sounds like this guy deserved it. Eye rolling never gets you anywhwere.
I am plagued with little boys ringing the door bell for their ball back in the summer. Honestly, when my children were younger and had afternoon naps I used to rage through the house, cursing and swearing at who had the audacity to ring my doorbell so cheerily. When I saw it was those little chaps I relented - that could be my little boy at someone else's door one day!
Encyclopedias, really!? I can't believe they even sell those anymore.
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