My family: The new birth control

My brother, aka "Uncle Matt", is a fantastic uncle. He adores all 3 of my kids. He lets the "big" kids jump all over him and is tireless in his physical play. He sends really sweet cards and the most thoughtful gifts. He shows off pictures of them to all of his friends. He is always aware that I need a hand with shoes, jackets and car seats.

When he asked what Lily wanted for her birthday last month, I said she doesn't need a thing. Just send her a cookie or something. He took a day off from work to slave over homemade cookies (never mind that they looked like a 4 year old decorated them, it's the thought that counts and I thought it was the sweetest thing)

However, inevitably once he has been here for a day or two, he decides to return back to NY a day or several hours earlier. I really need to study, he says. So-and-so is coming into town last minute. I think I'm getting a cold and need rest. It may snow and be a long ride
(oh, really... in May?)

I think we serve as a good reminder to him to really enjoy his single life. It won't always be so easy, clean and care free. But it will also someday be filled with an abundance of love and joy, whenever he is ready.

For now, I'm just happy to have an extra hand, a human jungle gym and some yummy home-made cookies.

Edited to add: The things on his face are the post-it tabs from my Lucky Magazine. "I want this one", "Love these shoes", "Need this top"...
(That's what Lily is reading; picking out her must-haves for spring)
He looks totally amused by this, huh?

A tiny little story

Lily will usually do anything for sweets. She is shameless.
The playroom was a mess tonight, thanks to a few rowdy play dates,
and I wanted her to clean it all alone. I bribed her (nothing wrong with that, right?) with something that starts with a "c". A cat, she asks excitedly? A cougar? A chinchilla? (thanks, Diego) A cheetah? A chipmunk?
No, Lil, a piece of chocolate. Oh, she says.
Never mind, I'll just go play in my room.

I hate Chinese Food

Nobody else seems to appreciate my daughter's works of art nearly as much as I do (totally understandable) so I promise not to post them incesently. I do want to share this gem.

The assignment was to make a "balloon person" doing your favorite activity. Most of her classmates made "people" who were playing or riding a bike or seeing a movie... Lily's is eating at a Chinese Restaurant.
(I'm not sure why the other dining guests are giant penises, but that's another issue for another time.)

Let me explain: My husband (who drives me crazy, if I haven't mentioned that) loves Chinese food. Not like a normal person does, but like a crazy person. He could literally (and I do mean literally) eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Every day. It's a problem. He would rather eat it than any gourmet, 4 star cuisine. For a foodie like me, this is tough to deal to take. The other problem is the caliber of restaurant that he will dine at or order in from. Closed down by the board of health? Fine! Buffet with the grubbiest customers ever? OK! Grease covered, highly questionable, dark meat chicken? Bring it on! After 12 years, the smell of sesame chicken makes me gag, and I am totally unable to eat even the finest Chinese food.

Thankfully for both of us, he now has a new dining companion in Lily. They have dates at the buffet at least once a week. I have to hold my nose when Lily comes running in to hug me covered in sweet sauce. While I am thankful that I am now off the hook as a guest, I am resentful that this trait has been passed on to a new generation. Most meals I present are followed by "I don't want this, I want Chineeese food!"
(And I mean Jeff too, not just Lily)

Thankfully, Ben has not seemed to inherit this gene, so maybe there's hope for my boys. Just once it would be nice to make a meal that is deemed preferable to Hunan Express.

Maybe someday. A girl can dream, right?

The joys of hand-me-downs

Despite all of my thrifty habits, ironically, I refuse to shop thrift stores. Most of my friends have no problem going that route for their kids, and they're totally right-- the clothes are in great shape and a fraction of the price. But it just grosses me out. What mystery child had a blow-out diaper in those pants? Wiped snot on those sleeves? Puked all over that dress? Gag.

I discovered the joy of my own child's hand me downs with my second son. Having had boys so close in age and during the same seasons, Evan barely has any new clothes. I love it. I love getting him dressed and remembering Benji in the same outfit. I love comparing their sizes, their smiles, their adoring sister with them... It is quite convenient to box up Ben's outgrown clothes and walk 20 steps to Evan's closet to put them away, knowing in a year I'll see them all again.

It almost makes me want to try for another girl, just to see Lily's sweet little dresses again.

Almost, I said. I'm not insane.

Lily's latest masterpiece

This is one of the 24 pictures that Lily drew tonight.
Is it just me, or does Ben strongly resemble the shrunken head man from Beetlejuice? Perhaps wishful thinking on her part?
Or more likely, not. But I thought the similarity was uncanny.

My new mantra

I have just discovered Etsy. A truly amazing place, and quite a time sucker (as if I needed any more of those) I just bought these handmade coasters. They feature an image from English WW2 propaganda, but I think it applies to life with small children as well.

An ode to Penelope

Before we had children, Penelope was my baby. I remember crying into her fur, 9 months pregnant with my first, promising her that things wouldn't change. Well, three children later, and I haven't walked her in a year. (All dog responsibilities now fall under husband duty) She drives me crazy biting her paws constantly. She barks viciously at anyone who dares walk by the house with another dog. She destroys stuffed animals almost daily. She swipes pb&j sandwiches off plates left within her reach. She smells up the house and hides pacifiers underneath the deck.

But she lets the kids ride her like a horse. And somehow knows just to carry "Bo-Bo" rather than rip him apart. She doesn't care when the kids play with her food, and will patiently be "walked" around the house by my two year old. I forget that most dogs would not put up with such things.

She is no longer the center of my world. She has comfortably adjusted to her role as the well-loved family dog, just where she should be.

And she couldn't be better at it.

What was your 4 year old doing at 10pm last night?

My 2 year old sleeps like a dream, he always has. We moved him into his crib at 2 months and bedtime has always been easy as pie. He goes to bed at 7:30 on the dot with a story, few songs and not a peep from his little mouth. It is a joy.

Lily's bedtime is a nightmare. The process takes a total of 2.5-3 hours. PJs are on and teeth brushed by 7:30, but she is not asleep until close to 10pm every night. When I was pregnant I was asleep most nights before her. We have tried everything. Sticker charts, foot massages, relaxing baths, songs but no stories, stories but no songs, bribery... She just plays and plays until she falls asleep. Sometimes this play time spills over to the hallway out side of her room or even onto the steps. She frequently falls asleep on the hard wood floor- doesn't that look comfy?!

I moved Lily out of our bed and into a crib at 6 months. We would do a bath, story, songs, rocking. Once she was in the crib she screamed herself to sleep. Every single night, for 2 hours, without fail. It was terrible. Once she moved into a big bed it was better, and screaming was replaced with playing. After 2 years of tears, this was a welcome change, so we just let it be. Now it has become an unbreakable habit. Live and learn.

The baby (almost 4 months old now) is still sleeping in my bed. I know it is time to move him, to develop his sleep patterns the smart way we did with his brother. That would be the right thing to do and I know I will regret it months from now. But soon enough he will be a big boy, running and screaming with his siblings, and I'm just not ready to move him quite yet.

So, here I go, botching up another one.
And this time I am fully aware of it. And I don't even care.

I have really bad taste in all things entertainment

First of all, I should say, that I am known for my poor taste in movies, music and television.

I listen almost exclusively to music from the 80s. It's not one of many types I enjoy, it's pretty much the only one. And not decent music from the 80s, but the really cheesy stuff. I think it's driven some people away from me.

My favorite movies involve death and romance. That really isn't a movie genre (trust me, I tried on Netflix) but it's a combo I can't resist. My all time favorite is Defending your Life . If you haven't seen it, please do. It involves an in-between place, Judgement City, in which all food is the best you have ever had and totally calorie free. It doesn't get better than that. And the opening scene involves blasting Barbara Streisand on the car stereo, which I am ashamed to say I do on a regular basis. (I did warn you about my taste) Another favorite of mine is Chances Are. Again, the love/death combo. And Robert Downy Jr. is such a doll in this. Really love it. I could go on, but will spare you the rest. These are the creme de la creme.

I won't even get started on the series Ghost Whisperer, but I do plan most Friday nights around it. It has taken the place of Charmed, which thanks to TNT, will entertain me forever.

I do recognize that I have lost all credibility. But hopefully I'll get points for honesty.

What my 4 year old drew today, over pancakes.

I love this picture. It includes the members of our household and "Bima" (my mom) The orange thing is our golden retriever. Not sure why she looks like roadkill, but I think the composition and color choices are brilliant.

My husband drives me crazy. CRAZY. CRAZY. CRAZY.

He calls me cheap. I prefer thrifty. I have always been this way. Good deals thrill me to the core. The buzz can last for days. I gleefully clip coupons, and I get chills when the checkout clerk tells me how much I saved.

My most favorite bouquet that Jeff ever gave me was a half-dead arrangement of peonies that he convinced the store to give to him instead of throwing out at the end of the day. After 6 years of lavish bouquets, he finally got me! Those wilted flowers made me far happier than a $100 bouquet of roses ever could.

I stalk maids at every hotel I stay at. I have done this for as long as I remember. I slyly wait until the maid goes into a room to clean before stuffing my bag (an extra one, brought solely for this purpose) with little bottles of shampoos, lotions and shoe horns. I have no idea what to do with a shoe horn, but I have at least 10 stuffed into my bathroom drawer. I now give the kids the small bottles to play with in the tub. They are really useless to me, but oh-so-much fun to acquire.

Anyway, my husband was in NYC for the weekend and stayed at a swanky hotel. He not only neglected to bring me any goodies from the room, but tells me that his room was next to the service elevator. An unlocked service elevator. He had countless instances to stuff his pockets with goodies for me. I got nada.

Well, that's not true. He did get me a new wallet from Salvatore Ferragamo. My old one is falling apart, and I told him to be on the lookout for a new one. I thought that implied that it be a good deal. This was not. It is leather. It is shiny. It is beautiful. It was so not on sale. It was not from Loehmann's, Marshalls or TJ Maxx. It was from an actual Ferragamo boutique. It is so going to be sent back to them tomorrow. I would have preferred the shampoo bottles.

But, he did just finish giving me a 25 shoulder massage that rocked my world. I think I'll keep him. Even if it means being driven slightly insane.

Edited on Tuesday, March 25th
A few people have asked to see the wallet in question, so here it is...
Don't even bother to tell me to consider keeping it. It's already on a plane back to it's original home in NYC, hopefully it will make somebody else very happy. Jeff does have a trip planned the week after next-- hopefully I'll get some shampoo out of that one :)

I may need to give up.

I think it is virtually impossible to capture 3 children, ages 3 months, 2 and 4 in one decent frame. I have been trying daily since I brought the baby home, and it just ain't happening. I briefly contemplated photoshoping them together, but this gives you a better glimpse of life here. So, there you go. Life with three.

Maybe this isn't such a good idea

I have a new friend, Danielle. I mention her because she is the one who introduced me to this new world of blogging. She owes me a day at a spa. Thanks to her my back is aching, my vision is blurry, my wrists are sore and my children are malnourished and unbathed (they don't need a bath everyday, right? And they certainly have enough fat reserves for a day or two, I'm sure.)

Just kidding, at least the kids are fed, bathed and tucked into bed. But I have been looking for something to do with myself. Something that doesn't involve feeding, diapering, coddling, or cleaning up after anyone else. Something for me. What a concept! So, Danielle, thank you. And I will drop off the kids tomorrow for you to watch while I get that massage.

My favorite bedtime stories

I read to my kids. Maybe not for exactly 20 minutes a day, but at least 2 or 3 books for each. Sometimes I enjoy that time. Sometimes I really, really don't. The latter usually involves Dora, Diego or Thomas the Train. I'd be thrilled if I never saw those three hoodlums again. There are a few books, however, that I truly love reading. The following never, ever, ever have pages "accidentally" skipped. And bedtime is a much happier time for all.
• Miss Rumphius by Barbara Cooney (My mom read this to me, so it's special to me, and the illustrations are just beautiful)
• Julius, Baby of the World by Kevin Henkes (I actually laugh out loud every.single.time I read this)
• Sylvester and the Magic Pebble by William Steig (Another childhood favorite, and I just love how Lily pronounces "Sillybester")

Sweet little baby smiles

Lily spends every moment at home literally in the baby's face. She is absolutely in love with him. She told me last night that it makes her so sad that Evan has to grow up and that he won't be "her sweet baby boy forever" These days are numbered, and once he hits about a year he will turn into another little pain in the ass brother to her. But for now it is the sweetest thing.

Here goes. Day One

I have started a million things that I never follow through with, and this whole blog thing may very well become one of them (some of you may recall my brief dip into the cosmetic industry, an event & invitation company, a little store...I could go on, but...) So, anyway, here goes. I figure I need someway to get my excitement out over things such as my latest Target finds ($100 worth of paper & stickers at 75% off-- can't beat that!) and my most adorable children, really just the cutest, sweetest little munchkins ever...

What else does one need in life? Oh yeah, my husband who really is pretty amazing himself (I can't take total credit for those 3 little wack-jobs)

So, here goes nothing...