From the monthly archives:

September 2009

TV & Kids: A Match Made in Heaven

If you’re one of those parents who don’t ever let your young children watch television, I have some news to break to you: You have no idea what you’re missing.

You probably also never feed your children cereal for dinner or skip the bath simply because you’re tired, or let them chew gum rather than brushing their teeth once in a while, so I really can’t relate to you in the least. But, I must know, seriously, how do you do it? How do you get your children to sit still and behave while you take a much needed and overdue shower? How do you bribe them to clean up their rooms and eat all of their dinner without the promise of a show? How do you occupy them when they are home sick from school and just want to lay on the couch and be entertained? How do you live like that? I simply cannot imagine.

Don’t get me wrong, I am very conscious not to let my children watch more than a couple half hour shows a day. I know it’s not the best thing in the world for them and would much rather they be playing outside or building towers or making art projects. Without a doubt. But when I’m alone with the three of them, TV makes a mighty fine babysitter when I need to get things done.

We’re embarking on a 22 hour drive this weekend with all three children. Two full days of driving for a one day wedding. (Aren’t you jealous?) While it won’t be fun, it will be infinitely more bearable with our car’s DVD player stocked with hours worth of shows and movies. And while the kids will still fight and whine and fuss, at least we will have a few hours of peace while they watch the magic box in the ceiling. I simply can’t imagine it any other way. And I don’t even want to try.

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My Children are Gross

My children are gross. Not, like a little gross. But, really, really gross.

Now, aside from the colorful rainbow bowel movements, raunchy fingernails and stinky feet, my children have a bad habit that is wildly out of control. A habit that I am ashamed to admit. It’s both revolting and embarrassing. I call it “snot on the wall.” And it makes me sick.

My darling daughter exhibited this behavior a few years ago and it was temporarily resolved by placing a box of tissues and wastebasket in her room. Now that she has brothers, though, the polite manners have been abandoned and all three of them mindlessly wipe their messy noses on whatever surface happens to be nearby. Conveniently, all snot looks alike so there is no pointing fingers at the guilty party. There are few things that annoy me as much as seeing a streak of yellow/green crust adorning my walls. It’s just plain infuriating.

Yesterday, while I was eating yogurt, I felt something on my shirt. I wiped it with my finger to lick off the vanilla blend, and thankfully took a moment to examine it before licking. Not only was it not yogurt, but it was yellow snotage courtesy of my middle son. It’s one thing to use my own sleeve to wipe their noses, it’s an entirely different thing to unknowingly be used as a human tissue. The nerve of that kid!

I’m leaning towards just letting them eat it. At least there’s no messy cleanup.

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The Happiest of Places

You know those happy places that you picture in your head when you need a pick me up? This is one of mine:

The picture was taken by my mom last year during a trip to Captiva, Florida. Captiva is one of my favorite places on earth, and during a day of our trip my mom, Lily and I took a boat to one of the smaller islands. The ride was magnificent. It was a gorgeous, sunny day and the scenery was idyllic.

There had been some dolphin sightings on board, and Lily was quickly approaching meltdown zone as she had missed jump after jump after jump. It was not what anyone felt like dealing with. Finally, the planets aligned and a group of three dolphins skipped in the sea at the exact moment that my mom snapped a shot. What you see about is Lily’s (and my) pure joy in seeing such a site. It was a perfect moment in time.

We head back to Captive in December and I cannot wait. I’m sure the trip will be wonderful, but it will be hard to compete with the joy that afternoon. There are only so many moments like that in a lifetime.

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Time Flies When You’re Having Fun. And Even When You’re Not

I can’t remember if I felt this way before I was a mom, but now that I am, the days seem to last forever but the months just fly by. Let’s take summer, for instance. There were days, many days, that I thought would just never end. But, now that it’s over, it seemed to be gone in a blink. How is that?

Even after vowing last summer to send the kids to camp this year, I didn’t. We took a two week trip east, but for the most part spent the lazy days at home, with each other. Indeed, the days were endless, but, like last year, they seemed to be really good for the kids. The three of them came out of the summer even tighter than before, forming their own little team. They really are the best of friends.

Next summer, I really do plan on sending them to camp. Lily, especially, really needs the stimulation and excitement. But, I know that even if I flake out and end up keeping them home, it won’t be the end of the world.

Not even close.

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A Gift from Daddy

My husband travels a great deal for business. Every now and then, especially if the trip has been long, he will return with goodies for the kids. Last week, he brought Lily pajamas with a matching set for her doll. Though excessive, they were just what she’d been longing for and functional as well. Ten points for Daddy.

For Ben, he bought a Lego car.

In theory, this was the perfect gift. A mere five bucks and something his son would adore. A wise choice, indeed. Except that once Jeff got home, he retreated to the basement for a work call that lasted well past eleven in the evening and I was left putting the damn toy together. And, it did not go well. To put it mildly.

I am someone who detests assembling. Actually, I detest doing anything that requires a close following of directions. I pay Ikea employees to assemble their shoddy furniture, adding hundreds of dollars to the bargain prices. I am unable to successfully hang a picture with a series of nail marks adorning the wall and still can’t get myself to properly make a batch of brownies. So, when I was abandoned with a selection of 80 tiny plastic pieces, I knew it was a disaster in the making.

I did the very best I could, swearing all the while and was still left with six superfluous pieces. Six pieces which, apparently, were quite necessary in the function, because once it was played with, the car crumbled in an instant. I’ve been finding bits and pieces scattered throughout the house and have taken to chucking them in the trash. Fortunately, Ben seems to have caught on to the “Daddy bought a silly toy” part rather than “Mommy couldn’t put it together.” At least this time, I don’t seem to be the bad guy in the scenario. For a change.

Because, seriously, what is a three year old supposed to do with this?