I don’t dance.
I don’t like it, I’m not good at it, and I’d pretty much rather be doing anything other than getting down on the dance floor.
Taxes, a deep cleaning at the dentist, a 45 minute long call with Comcast over the fact that I have not had reliable internet service all year. These are all things preferable to dancing for me. It’s simply not my thing, just like drunkenly belting out all the words to Broadway show tunes might not be your thing, and there shouldn’t be anything wrong with that fact. (Although, really, you haven’t lived until you’ve performed Phantom of the Opera with six drinks in you and poor pitch. But, I digress.)
The problem is that the entire world seems to think that dancing is my thing, and I’m just not aware of it yet.
All of my life I have battled the people who yank me on the dance floor and tell me to lighten up. To less loose and feel the music. People who bring me drink after drink after drink so I can really have fun under the hot lights and pounding music. People who drag me over— against my will— forcing me to “have fun.” People who bump me and grind me and make me think of moves meant to knock them over, sending them landing flat on their asses, just so I can plant mine back in the chair, where it happily belongs.
What is it about dancing that makes everyone think that anyone not participating is missing out?
See, believe it or not, I know myself pretty well by now.
I actually want to be sitting in that chair, sipping my drink and chatting with the other non-dancers. I want to be matte when everyone else is shiny and dryer sheet clean when everyone else is sweating buckets. I want to have conversations in a quiet corner and not have to scream my head off and I want to maintain my sense of hearing and feeling in my feet.
What I don’t want to do? Is dance.
Don’t cry for me, Argentina. Just because I’m not dancing, doesn’t mean that I’m not having fun or that I’m sad or pathetic or need desperately to be cheered up. In fact, I’m perfectly capable of having a good time. A great time. That great time just isn’t found on the dance floor.
No matter how hard the world may try.
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