Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy
@scarymommy
Latest posts by Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy (see all)
- The Disney Reveal - May 14, 2013
- Met My Match At Disney… - May 13, 2013
- Sunday’s Baltimore Sun - May 11, 2013
Every day, there are parents who make me feel badly about my parenting: The school parent who volunteers three times a week, compared to my obligatory once a month visit. The neighbor who is always outside laughing and playing with her children while I glance out every five minutes to make sure they’re still alive. The mom who serves her kids hot breakfast while mine gobble down breakfast bars on the way to school.
Fortunately, there have also been some parents this past year who make me feel a little bit better about the job I’m doing. We’re all screwing our kids up in one way or another, of course, but at least I didn’t do any of the following things this year…
1. Put my daughter in a tanning booth to match my leathery complexion.
2. Tattoo a heart on my 11 year old daughter, because no tattoo parlor was willing to do it.
3. Feed my kids chewed up food from my own mouth.
4. Name my daughter after a social media phenomenon à la #Hashtag.
5. Shoot any of my children’s electronics, no matter how badly I wanted to.
6. Land in jail for threatening little league coaches because my son didn’t make the team.
7. Leave one of my children at Chuck E. Cheese’s, only to realize my mistake when the police informed me of her whereabouts.
8. Encourage my daughter to be a pole dancer.
9. Do heroin and shoplift with my pre-teen daughter.
10. Sew my son’s butt crack together because he used the toilet too often.
I’d be willing to guess that you didn’t do any of those things, either.
See, you aren’t such a bad mother, after all!
{ 55 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh… my. This just makes me… sigh. Those poor kids.
tracey recently posted..Let it Rot, I say…
Scary. That’s all scary. The tanning lady still haunts me. *shudder*
Stephanie recently posted..Momma’s 12 Days of Christmas Presents Save a Mother, Leave a Tree by Shayna Gehl
What the….
Wow…
Those are… just awful. Awful, awful, awful…
Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes recently posted..Why we didn’t send out a personalized holiday card
Oh, good! I was just wondering where to sign the baby up for baby pole-dancing lessons.
humanmama recently posted..don’t worry, be happy mon
Sooo…sewing your baby’s butt is bad?
Dang it.
Sadly, this was done to a 14 year old with CHRONE’s disease, which just makes it even worse :(
The only one I disagree about is the Dad who shot his daughter’s laptop for her extreme disrespect and inappropriate use of said laptop. The problem isn’t that he did it, it’s that more parents don’t. It’s NEVER ok to disrespect your parents. The consequences should be real, and they should be extremely unpleasant. Otherwise, we set our kids up for a lifetime of conflict and disappointment and unhappiness. Rights? What rights? Kids have the right to be loved, not indulged. Kids have the right to warmth, food, clothing, shelter… not pricy electronics to use in any way they see fit. It’s a hard scientific fact that kids lack the ability to use concrete evaluative judgement. Thank God this dad is showing his teen daughter a chunk of reality. She won’t like it, but since when does she have to? If you’re trying to be your kid’s friend at the expense of setting limits and enforcing them… THEN you’ve earned a place on this list.
And that’s pricey, not pricy. Sorry.
I agree with you 100%. I fully support what this father did.
I have to disagree, and I’m a mom of a 12 1/2 yr old girl (who uses electronics). I don’t put up with B.S., and I don’t agree that use of a cell phone, laptop, etc., is an inherent “right” for an adult, let alone a child.
However, this dad was just showing his tail. It’s one thing to correct your child or remove said laptop, and another to humiliate her or destroy decent property (that could have been donated or used elsewhere by another person). Destroying something expensive via shotgun just makes you look like a semi-violent hillbilly who has run out of ideas. It’s high school humor, and doesn’t set a good example. Plus- it’s based on “I’m gonna put you in your place, girlie, I’m a big man”- and I worry that’s the kind of guy that young lady will end up with- and there are ENOUGH of those around. Ew.
You are absoultly right!
I got slightly upset that I couldn’t “Like” this response. Agreed.
He’s certainly not on the same level as the heroin/shoplifting mom and daughter duo, but can you imagine if we all taught our children about respect by blowing their things up with guns? There’s got to be a better way, I’m sure of it. Then again, I don’t have a bitchy 16 year old yet… :)
exactly!
I think he should have tattooed a picture of him shooting the computer on the kid’s shoulder because that would have made sure she’d never forget this lesson.
Jack recently posted..The Blog Award You Wish You Had Won
He should have posted pics of himself doing ridiculous stuff in his underwear and tagged her in them,embarrassment always works! My daughter takes her time getting to the car after school and I told her I was going to do the “booty dance” all the way in there til I found her and everyone already knows I’m your mom. She doesn’t waste any time getting to the car now ;)
Thumbs up. I also agree with dad.
This is so sad :( But yes, makes me feel like a million-dollar mom! One who wants to rescue all of these poor kids from their own parental demise :(
Momma Peters recently posted..Becky, the Wiener Dog
some people are just sick in the head. the story about the dad shooting his daughters laptop because she was posting naked pictures on the internet is not bad. he did the right thing! lol
Dana,
I don’t think anyone is disputing the father’s disappointment and annoyance with the disrespect his daughter showed him. What’s in dispute is the extreme measures he went to to teach her a lesson. What does it teach her? Later in life, when she has a job and Facebooks about how she hates it or something, her boss isn’t going to come in and shoot her computer (I hope). She’ll get fired.
I think there are other, more productive ways to teach your child about respect. Shooting their things isn’t one of them. And let’s face it…teenagers suck. They’re whiney and bitchy and think they know everything. They’re in for a rude awakening anyway. Just sayin’.
I don’t really see the difference between what he did and a parent who goes through with the threat of “if you don’t pick your stuff up it’s going in the garbage”. Pricey lesson indeed!
I actually read more into the story than just watch the video, so I actually cheered when I watched the video. And I’m NOT a gun fan.
TheHeadacheslayer recently posted..Best Friends
YOU ARE WINNING! Also, the lady w/the baby on the LAMP pole? She’s totally doing it wrong. Did she even bother to secure the lamp first? Ha
Arnebya recently posted..Wordful Wednesday: When Your School Pictures Show Your Mom Wasn’t Paying Attention
LOL! Safety first…
Sarah at Julia’s Child recently posted..The Most Inspiring Thing
OMG. Yeah…I’m suddenly feeling ALOT better about my parenting. I deserve a Mom-of-the-Year award compared to those people.
I do agree with Dana about the dad and the daughter’s laptop. I think she learned a major lesson and rightfully so. But the rest of these are frightening. :(
I feel so much better for me now :)
Dear God, WHAT is the world coming to???? This post really has me warming up to the previously detestable idea of making people pass some kind of test before being allowed to conceive a baby… ugh.
Kristen Mae recently posted..Some Things You Might Not Have Considered About Guns
No kidding. In order to adopt a rescue pug, I have to have a home check and provide multiple references. But any idiot can have a baby. *SMH*
TheHeadacheslayer recently posted..Best Friends
Wow…. I didn’t know how the tanning booth lady could be topped… but… wow…
Don’t forget potty training your kids in the middle of a restaurant.
Headant recently posted..How to Fly Without Wings
……………………someone sewed a child’s ass together? how did i miss that one?
the pole dancing infant was pretty disgusting…….as a former dancer, i am pretty sure my job as a mother is to keep my daughter OFF THE POLE!!!!!
Pole dancing babies- seriously, woman? Holy cow.
Nikki recently posted..Sports Event Parents
Jeeeeeezus…
And these are just the ones who made the news. Or that you noticed in the news. I feel so much better now. Apple pie for breakfast and the occasional ice cream sundaes for dinner suddenly doesn’t sound so egregious.
XLMIC recently posted..Virtual Jingle Bell Hell Final Results Finally
Apple pie for breakfast? At least they are getting fruit. It’s better than a pop tart. The one or two times I make fresh strawberry pie, my kids eat it for breakfast.
Dear Lord…The baby pole dancer made me cringe. Not to mention the other horrific things listed. thank you for making me feel like mother of the year this morning :)
-Heidi
Heidi Bryan recently posted..Yep…that just happened
Being named after a hashtag lol omg
And some parent shooting his child’s laptop is crazy :(
Way to go to all of the parents who are not teaching their kids to pole dance! ^^ :P
To the best year ever!! ʕ>⍵<ʔ
Meddy Teddy recently posted..Meddy Teddy At Star Knowledge Conference
I haven’t felt so good in ages!!
The pole dancing one and the sewing the kids butt shut traumatized me just now. What the hell is wrong with people nowadays?!
You’re a little misleading on #10–the dad did SURGERY on his teen to avoid taking him to the hospital. I read the article and it didn’t sound like he did it because the kid was pooping too much. Still way crazy, but trying to avoid a doctor’s bill rather than being sadistic and avoiding poop are two different kinds of wacko.
Denise recently posted..For Your Christmas Enjoyment: Guys Singing Christmas Carols
Great post…way to keep track! Makes me feel like Mom of the Year.
deb recently posted..Friday Funnies 12.28.12
I had seen some of these, but not the one were that man sewed his sons but cheeks together. Truly horrifying what some people will do to their children.
My Half Assed Life recently posted..Now I Feel Like Coming Over
#Poor# Soon, there’ll be people naming their kids Facebook. Or taking ideas from Pinterest.
And all those other poor kids. Tattoos, pole dancing and tanning?
No words.
Alison recently posted..Happy Holidays!
Omg!!! So awful! I think I am a bad mom when my kid eats too much candy and watches too much tv!!!!
I feel so much better about my parenting, thank you.
GunDiva recently posted..Why Is There A Turd In The Shower?
Nope, I don’t think that gunslinging Dad had it right!
He came upon his daughters fb by accident? Hello? You have a teen daughter, you should be keeping a weather eye on her fb and twitter any another other IT pages. If you are indeed an IT person you should know that!
I’m so untechie! But I’ve learned enough to keep an eye on my kids. And I also talk with them about these things.
Being IT savvy is part of being a parent in these times. And if you want to teach your kids that shootin’ and cussin’ and drinkin’ is the way to deal with your problems…….well go right ahead, but I’m glad you live ‘there’ and I live ‘here.’ Because there are so many better ways to teach them to cope with life.
These are all crazy! My daughter started asking me at the age of 12 if she could get a tattoo. I told her when she was old enough to get a tattoo on her own and pay for it, then she could get a tattoo. The day she turned 18, she went out and got a tattoo :)
The tanning mom is just scary looking.
Laura recently posted..31 DAYS OF FREEDOM
This is OFF THE WALL CRAZY. To think that I make all these crazy judgements about the crappiness of my parenting for doing things like threatening to throw toys away if my kids don’t pick up and telling my kid that he killed our Elf on the Shelf when I found him poking at him. I am an AMAZING mom for this. People are Fu@king CRAZY! Thank you coffee and a lovely blog for keeping my baby off the pole and my kid’s ass cheek free and flying. INSANE.
wow thats just some crazy shit
Ok, I actually liked the guy who shot his daughter’s computer. Don’t take this the wrong way, but there are things you think you will NEVER do with your kids….until they become teenagers.
Everyone else? BIZARRO. Esp. Silverstone chewing up her child’s food….so so GROSS and her justifications are so off-base. (I personally would argue with her that babies under the age of 1 do not NEED anything except breastmilk–that’s an idea perpetuated by the baby food/formula companies. This is *not* a judgement against anyone who doesn’t BF or uses solids before a year.)
TheHeadacheslayer recently posted..Best Friends
Wowza. I can’t decide which one is the worst. I’m mother of the year!
murphy must have had kids recently posted..Weekly Photo Challenge: My 2012 in one picture
I’m suddenly feeling better about my parenting skills! Hey, she’s 16, still alive, a good kid, and only marginally screwed up.
That is hilarious! And, definitely makes me feel better! I always did have a terrible time remembering the tooth fairy, though. She missed their pillow and it ended up under or behind the bed every time! I don’t know if Ishould be glad my kids didn’t catch on or worried! Haha
April recently posted..Me, Bitter? Nah……
The chubby little one in neon-pink fishnets on the pole? I’d have been a sucky mother, but even I know better than THAT.
Have a happy New Year.
June O’Hara recently posted..Meeting New Year’s With Resolve
Agree with Dana 100% just glad I didn’t own a gun when my 19 year old was 16, I may have done the same thing.
#10 didn’t really happen did it?
Hilarious! But really, #5 was totally something I would do! His daughter was a B.R.A.T. BRAT! He showed her a lesson I’m sure she’ll never forget!