Mom shares hilarious note her son wrote to Santa on Twitter
While most little kids are obsessed with Santa (and his dumb Elf on the Shelf), not all share an enthusiasm for the big guy in red, and others don’t even believe in him.
But none are like this little boy, who took his skepticism for St. Nick and turned it into the most savage Santa letter of all time.
NPR reporter Sarah McCammon shared a hilarious note her six-year-old son wrote at school when told to write a letter about Santa. And OMG, it’s too good.
My 6yo Santa skeptic was told to write a letter to Santa at school. So he did… pic.twitter.com/XUFGMnXDFT
— Sarah McCammon NPR (@sarahmccammon) December 3, 2017
McCammon tweeted her son’s letter last night and it’s been quickly racking up likes and retweets ever since, because it’s amazing. She posted it complete with his adorable spelling errors. It reads:
“Dear Santa, I’m only doing this for the class. I know your notty list is emty. And your good list is emty. and your life is emty. You don’t know the trouble I’ve had in my life. Good bye.”
He signed off saying, “I’m not telling you my name” and included drawings of wreaths and skulls in the margins.
We. Are. Dead.
McCammon adds that the “troubles” in his life aren’t anything too serious — at least not serious enough to blab to Santa about.
PS - the "troubles" in his life? His brother. Don't call child services. 😂— Sarah McCammon NPR (@sarahmccammon) December 3, 2017
OK, we need a minute here. A six-year-old just tore up Santa in a matter of five brutal sentences and we’re both shook and dying laughing. “Your life is emty” needs to be printed on a t-shirt, stat. This kid is something else.
Twitter was quick with both the LOLs and stories of kids with a similarly dismal outlook on either Santa or life in general.
LOLOL. Love your little skeptic.— Cleo’s Hat wants gun control now (@CleopatrasHat) December 3, 2017
Similarly, in 2nd grade, my daughter's response to a personal essay assignment was, “I do not like to share personal details.” 🤣🤣 She is my “spicy child.”
That’s hysterical. I feel like these are Proto-Johnny Cash style lyrics— Kyle Judah (@KyleJudah) December 4, 2017
whoa, he out skeptic’d 7yo me by a mile! (both in the squint-&-frown club, tho) https://t.co/5VJhi1ofLJ— John Harkey (@FelixFardo) December 4, 2017
(Scene: North Pole. Santa reads this letter. His lower lip quivers)
Santa: Maybe my life IS emty…
(a single tear courses down his face) https://t.co/lUIL4DuR9Q
— Emily Dagger (@AbbottRabbit) December 4, 2017
"Margin art: wreaths and skulls." https://t.co/PUVnjCtIKN
— Beth Francesco (@BethFrancesco) December 4, 2017
I think the six-year-old is destined for a career in journalism. Awesome.— KANtext (@KANtext) December 4, 2017
i think if a six year old told me my life is “emty” in that ruthlessly honest way kids speak, i would really have to take a hard look at myself and search for where i lost my way— little brush ∵ (@_sagebrush) December 4, 2017
My son was 3 when he told other children in his nursery class that Santa was invented by Coca Cola. He also said if he had to believe in a god it would be the Greek gods because they are more interesting. Sorry...— Su Butcher (@SuButcher) December 4, 2017
I’M SCREAMING! “Your life is empty” omg he read Santa for filth pic.twitter.com/FEmHqrukDG— Curtis (@rumchampion) December 4, 2017
As the mom of a son who regularly signs off his parent journal entires to me with “well this is where it ends,” I feel McCammon on a spiritual level. Having a child who questions things lots of kids take for granted and understands that life isn’t all puppy dogs and sunshine (or magical men in red who squeeze down chimneys with tons of gifts) is both exhausting and a gift. There’s something special about a child who sees the world with slightly more adult eyes. There’s something undeniably funny about it too.
There’s no reply yet from Santa, but we’re sure he’s evaluating all his life choices up until this point. Hold your head high, big guy. Plenty of kids (and adults!) still believe in you even if this smart little dude is onto your ruse.