People piss me off. There, I said it. I really hate the nosy and seemingly endless questions that people ask me about being a single mother. I don’t question you about your life, so how about not questioning me about mine? Person I haven’t seen in three years, do you really think it’s appropriate to ask me questions about my situation through a Facebook message? No. It is not. Let me ask you some nosy questions about your personal life, and let’s see how you feel.
What kind of questions do people ask me? OK, sure, here we go.
1. You must make a ton of money off the baby bonus, eh? OK, first of all, it’s called Child Tax Benefit, and second of all, you don’t “make” money from it. The money is allocated through the government so that families can subsidize the cost of raising a child/children. And it’s not based on being a single parent. It’s based on your income. I make a pretty decent living; therefore, my child tax benefit is quite minimal. The program is designed to help low-income families. Oh, and how about I grill you on your finances now? Just kidding, I’m not that rude.
2. So, what’s the deal with her father? Um, yeah … Like I am really going to try to summarize that in the grocery store just to fulfill your need to know my business. It didn’t work out between us. It’s that simple and that complicated. If you’d like to know more about why it didn’t work, then maybe you should ask him. Oh, you don’t know him? Then maybe you don’t know me that well either and should keep your mouth shut.
3. Does her dad pay child support? Let me ask you this: How much debt are you in? Do you have any investments? How much money do you make at your job? How much money does your husband make at his job? What does your car payment cost every month? Are you still paying student loans? How many credit cards do you have? See how those questions are super inappropriate? Yeah, so is asking about child support.
4. Do you want to date? Yes, but a better question is, Do I have time? No, no I do not. My daughter is only 8 months old, and I want to spend as much time with her as possible. Dating is hard regardless, but when you add a child to the mix, it becomes even more challenging. My time is precious, and I am not going to waste it with just anyone.
5. What is on your daughter’s birth certificate? Her name and her date of birth. You don’t need to know anything else. When Charlotte is old enough to carry it herself, ask her to show you.
6. Do you feel bad that your daughter doesn’t have a normal family? OK, define “normal” for me please? Oh, and while you are busy trying to come up with an answer to that, let me give you some education about families. There are just as many single parent families, blended families, unmarried parent families and same-sex parent families as there are traditional families. So I am pretty sure that my family is as “normal” as yours. It’s not 1963, people!
7. Do you want more kids? I love children, which is why I have one. If I am lucky enough to be given more, then I will definitely take them. That being said, I don’t plan on having any more children as a single parent. I don’t know what life is going to bring, but being a single mom is tough, and if I do have more children, I hope my situation is different. But isn’t that obvious?
I know that some people ask these questions because they are my family or friends and are just generally curious. But some people ask because they are nosy assholes that don’t have any tact. I know I don’t have a traditional family, and for some people, that sparks an interest. I get it, OK? But before you grill me, use your filter, please.
Related post: How to Survive As a Newly Single Parent