Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy
@scarymommy
Latest posts by Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy (see all)
- The Disney Reveal - May 14, 2013
- Met My Match At Disney… - May 13, 2013
- Sunday’s Baltimore Sun - May 11, 2013
I used to be a really organized person. I was on top of my game and productive and felt that warm glow that comes with accomplishing things. But lately, I’ve been slacking.
My to-do list is out of control and I’m finding myself adding to it without ever crossing items off. I’ve taken to tackling things that I have no business doing, like gardening, just to postpone attacking the monster list.
Today, I wasted a few hours poking around on Facebook. I clicked through a few weddings of strangers, some newborns I don’t know and really weren’t all that cute and RSVP’d no to every virtual event I’ve been invited to for the past several months.
And then, because an hour wasn’t long enough to be wasting time, I started looking up people I’ve lost touch with. I’ve reunited with most everyone, so I had to dig a little deep. Real deep. Procrastination will do that to you.
What I discovered was shocking and eye-opening. It was totally regrettable and so very, very unfortunate. I may never recover.
No, it wasn’t an old boyfriend turned gay. Nobody died or underwent a sex change operation suffered some unthinkable tragedy. Nobody, that is, but me.
It was something much more depressing: I stumbled upon the page of the girl I babysat for as a teenager, and… she’s… an… adult. Like, a real adult.
I looked for the buck teeth and the baby fat and the Cinderella tattoo and the floral shirts, but they were gone. In their place were hips and boobs and pictures with boys and a whole life that doesn’t in the faintest resemble who I knew her to be 20 years ago. I thought of my kids and their sitters and how very soon they’ll all be grown up.
The good news is that I’m going to stop snooping around the internet and actually be productive. If I ever crawl out of the fetal position, that is.
{ 100 comments… read them below or add one }
Craziness. Facebook is not a good place for making us feel good. Sometimes. Certainly not always :).
Get out of fetal. now . :) I demand it. :D
priscilla – the wheelchairmommy recently posted..Pogo Sticks & flowers
The girl I babysat 20 years ago is married and has a Master’s degree. I feel old.
Nota Supermom recently posted..Im Sure Theyll Miss Me When Im Gone
Been there (sadly), done that (regrettably). So, so sorry! :)
The girls I nannied are both in COLLEGE. COLLEGE! Which is weird because I turn “22″ next week. Again.
Oh gah. I feel old every time I see status updates from my 17 year old cousin. I still remember her as a 4 year old. Eeek. Facebook is evil.
Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..Wordless-Wordful Wednesday – Ice Blanded
It is crazy – I also follow someone I used to babysit and she is a beautiful, young woman now. Yesterday I found out that I’m older than my new manager at work. It sucks.
holly recently posted..Review- Squinkies Nintendo DS Game
Scary how time flies. Just 15 minutes ago I was packing for college… fast forward 15 years and I am thinking about my kid’s college education.
Facebook will do that to you! She should have locked her profile.
{deep and dramatic sigh} I had that experience myself not too long ago. My steady high school Saturday babysitting job is now married and…has a kid… God, I’m ancient. That is NOT supposed to happen. Her (infant) brother is engaged. {Cue waves of nausea…}
Where does the time go?
I suppose that’s what we get for snooping.
Time to go snuggle/strangle our own kids because they will be there before we know it.
Cheers.
VB
Vinobaby recently posted..Talk Dirty to Me
That part about your child being older like that child you babysat put a dagger right through my heart. Right through it. They WILL be old one day, won’t they?
*Runs off and cries hysterically*
Cinderella tattoos? Now that’s the real tragedy!
Arlee recently posted..Thanks For the Memories!
It’s so weird isn’t it. As much as I’m addicted to the FB, damn it makes me feel old.
Mommyfriend recently posted..Blogging- It’s Not Always About Reaching the Most People
Oh, I hate disco wrong things that make us feel old! For instance, my little Dimitry is going through a Home Alone obsession phase and I’m reminded 17 times an hour that that movie wa made 20 YEARS ago. W.T.F.
Oh my, I can totally relate. A few months ago my daughter started babysitting my cousins son. Which does sound all that bad until you know that I used to babysit her when we were their ages!! Ugh, life is but a vapor. Let me know how you do on that TO DO list, I may just need a shovel and a big hole for mine.
Yes, yes, and yes! My former students Are my feel old fb triggers!
The kids that I had my first year teaching are graduating from COLLEGE this year. And I’m not even 35. It’s just crazy talk, if you ask me.
Ryan (The Woven Moments) recently posted..The Forgiveness Folly
I still get horrified when I see photos of my brother and his friends in bars. My brother is married with a daughter. It doesn’t matter; it still depresses me. He’s supposed to be 12 forever.
Lady Estrogen recently posted..Bajingos Illustrated
Have you noticed how none of us ever ask each other’s age. We are all mommy age, whatever that means. But the other day I met another mom with a daughter a little older then my son. A few minutes into the conversation she asked how old I am. I knew she was young. I did not need to know how much younger, thank you very much.
I will wear sunglasses and mind my own business at playgrounds from now on. And you, no looking up people you can’t be friends with anyway.
Stasha recently posted..Scent of a man
I know that feeling – the little girl I nannied for beginning at 3 mos is a real adult now, too. Scary.
Ally recently posted..Aint Teenage Love Grand Why- Yes It Is
We are all guilty of spending too much time online doing one thing or another. Heaven knows there are real things I should be getting done, but instead I’m here on the computer.
Matty recently posted..Weight Loss
Oh, yes. A girl I used to babysit Facebooked me last year and thanked me for the impact I had on her life … and to tell me she was getting married. It made me cry … because it was sweet and also because I’m old. *sigh*
Mama Marchand recently posted..on my way- baby- and it feels good
Ahh, just when I was considering finally joining Facebook, you have provided me with another excuse to remain a Luddite. Thanks, Jill.
Kristen @ Motherese recently posted..Five Quick Thoughts on Three Under Four
So painful. I find FB a blessing and a curse. I love it and hate it. I’m happy when I’m away from it and happy when I’m back to it. I . . . am I making myself clear? If not, I think I have a love/hate relationship with FB. :)
missy recently posted..Ask Literal Mom – Transitioning
I feel old whenever I see my niece and her two boys. She turned 21 earlier this year. I know I have a teenage son but when kids I knew as young children are joining the military, getting married, graduating from college, or have families of their own I cry just a little as I see my youth sliding ever so much further away. It happens to all of us, I guess.
This was funny, and sadly I once was that girl who babysat for a young couple who I ran into at a wedding a few years back. They were amazed at how much older I was, graduated, married, and working…the thing is, they were the ones that shocked me. The son went completely goth, the daughter was in therapy, and the couple were completey crazy. She kept repeating herself over and over, and he wore mismatched socks. Just reminds me that everything, EVERYTHING, is a point in time.
Not Winning Mom of the Year recently posted..Celebrity Mom
I recently friended someone for whom I babysat……she is very successful in her field and is well-known locally. I think maybe one of the reasons I friended her is so that if she gets uppity I can write on her Wall and tell people how she used to hate to take a bath. LOL.
MommyMagpie recently posted..Pity Party
I feel your pain.The girl I babysat has a 4 year old!!*faint*
The kids I babysat are getting married this summer! Aaaahhhhhh!
This is clearly why I never did babysitting.
Altho the love of my life when I was 16, is now a Grandfather at 45 … ACK, Facebook!
I know what you can do to make yourself feel better! Look up ex-boyfriends…
The guy I soooo wanted to marry is lazy, unemployed & hangs out in a bar all day (with people from high school, no less)
When someone I see (like the kids I nannied – been there!) makes me feel old, I just pop on over to his profile so I can also feel WISE. ;-)
Tiffany recently posted..Blog- Redux
hahahahaha
I felt old way before Facebook, but it’s amazing how much time has flown when you look at all the kids on FB when they were little and now they’re adults with full lives!
Ack! I hate when that happens!!! Almost as much as I hate it when I run into old babysitters and they think I should still be 7 or something. ;)
Rachael recently posted..How to Dress Like a Mom
This is why I don’t spend much time on FB.
Jessica recently posted..My mother’s day and Baby Steps
FaceBook is a trouble maker. That’s why I don’t visit there very often.
Gigi recently posted..Conversations Like This Are The Only Reason I Go To Work Every Day
Oh boy, that has happened to me a few times and it is not a fun place to be. Nothing like one more reminder that we are getting older.
Jessica recently posted..Happy Mother’s Day
The kids I used to babysit for are all adults too…with jobs, spouses, kids…all that shit. Creeps me out every time I think about it.
The Mommyologist recently posted..Scary Mommy & Target- A Total Mom Sexy Combination
Just tonight I was talking about the same thing with a friend. The kids we babysat for our grown up. It seems to be a rite of passage for our age. Also, some one I went to school with has a kid in high school. Granted, she had the kid in middle school, but I still feel like a high school kid most days. Doesn’t seem possible.
Kristine recently posted..Send Love for Mothers Day Please Read and Pass On
I do that every so often and find it amazing how fast they grow! I can’t believe the girls I used to babysit for are now in COLLEGE! Now I feel old.
A Mommy in the City recently posted..Great News!
the girl who babysat my 5 kids is now pediatrician to my 2 granddaughters. it.freaks.me.out.still.
Oh I hear you. The little girl I babysat in high school is going to babysit my newborn this summer. WHAT???
Erin Lane recently posted..Moms Nite Out – What Every Mother Needs
I had almost the exact same experience a few months ago. The child I had babysat for has now given birth to (3) beautiful children of her own! I was floored – I’m 31, so yes she had them young & in rapid succession, but still – grown – married – three kids !! Wow ! I’m going to go and start my morning search for gray hair !!!!!
I can up you one : I saw a really hot college student at the grocery store the other day and just as I was admiring that perfect young tushy (from afar ofcourse) I realized I had babysat him when he was four! And had to whipe that self same tushy that I was so busy admiring.
I wanted to die on the spot!
I used to nanny for two kids and I went to search for their parents on facebook b/c I wanted to see how the kids were doing. No luck on the parents but the little boy, who was THREE when I babysat him… has his own page.
Kill me now.
As a side business I sing at wedding, funerals etc… I got a call from an excited bride for me to sing at her wedding. I dealt with her and never asked the groom’s last name, it was just “Adam”.
As I am standing with the organist waiting for the groom to come in, I look up and realize it’s a kid I babysat for when he was six! He was the groom. I almost choked on my Ave Maria!
Yes, I have done that as well, it is tragic.
Anjie recently posted..Rainy Waiting
Oh, I have been there too! Friended our old sitter a few months ago only to find she is married and now having a baby of her own!!! *sigh* just not fair.
Kelly recently posted..Mom Got Blog is Going to…
I taught children’s theater for years and I have a gaggle of those reminders as I think all 25 of those kids are on facebook, are my friends and are grown up. It is so strange!
Brittany {Mommy Words} recently posted..Bring Back the Family Meeting and Give Your Kids a Say
Oh – so familiar… As if it’s not hard enough to look in the mirror and see the wrinkles. Younger people have the gall to stop being kids and make me feel even OLDER!
Kate Coveny Hood recently posted..An Inside Job
hahaha – I have had so many little girls and boys contact me that I used to babysit for – I LOVE IT! So much fun connecting with those little shits!
Tiaras & Tantrums recently posted..Motherhood
I’m very in touch with that feeling lately. My oldest nanny child sent me a message (via facebook, of course!) about a month ago. He’s getting his PhD in September and getting married in October. “Too young!” I breathed in Morticia Adams fashion. Alas, he is not. He just turned 31… and is now 6 years older than I was when I went to be his nanny.
Plus, I will never get used to seeing my nephew posting stuff like, “Rough day at work, just kicking back and having a couple beers.”
Oy vey… where the hell did I leave my walker….?
Barb Black recently posted..On the 5-15
That’s terrible. I’m sorry for your loss.
Marinka recently posted..Older Kids In Strollers
LOL, just the time wasted is a tragedy…..
angelica recently posted..have you ever just known
Oh do I understand. I work at a college and just this week I found out that the first year students coming in this year were born the year I graduate highschool. So…I have also been in the fetal position all week.
Tammy @ Skinny Mom’s Kitchen recently posted..Simple Twice Baked Potato
I feel your pain, a girl I used to babysit for (along with her bother) just got married last June and over the weekend her mom told me she was having a baby. She is now 36, I started babysitting for her when she was 5. Made me feel really old. Oh and her younger bother is engaged and way taller than me.
My goddaughter just turned 17 and is starting to get ready for college so I know exactly what you mean. Scary stuff.
Jennifer recently posted..My people- Brought to you from the I-10
I ran into a woman whose kids I used to babysit. One of the kids just got married, the other just had a baby. I may have cried.
I recently had a similar experience, realizing that a kid I used to baby sit is now more successful than I am. Thanks, Mark Zuckerberg, for making that little realization possible.
Heather Kelley recently posted..Happy Mothers Day!
Been there done that. The kids I baby sat for are my FB friends now. I knew the little boy when he was in his mommy’s tummy. Now he’s a tattooed gangbanger on drugs in and out of jail – ironic since his dad is a cop… And the girl – who I also knew as a baby bump – is in college partying with boys, and posts skany ass pictures. It makes me sad… and old…
On the flip side I still keep in touch with my 2nd grade teacher. She was at my sisters wedding and she’s met my oldest. I joked that she’d have to go back to teaching just for the years my kids were in 2nd grade!! She said she taught the kids of her students before :)
Oh yes, I can relate to this one!
Christi recently posted..Wordless Wednesay- The Onesie Says it All
What makes me depressed about Facebook is when I see photos of the girls I went to high school with who have 4 kids and a body like Heidi Klum. How is that possible?! I have 4 kids, I am the same age, I and conscience of what I eat etc etc -but I sure as hell do not look like that! But I can’t stop myself from going through their photo albums – I am ashamed of how caddy I am being inside my head. BUT – I remember that is is only inside my head so I continue to be caddy. When I am done then I left with bitter guilt self loathing and raging jealousy. So I go eat an entire bag of M&M’s to myself. Cuz…..that somehow makes it all better. WHAT!?! It does…..for 5 minutes anyway. Then I get to start ALL over again! GAH! Why do we do this to ourselves!!?
My old baby sitter looked me up on Facebook and died of shock. She is 47 and I am 42. I don’t know what she was expecting, but she hasn’t babysat me since I was around 10 so it has been a few years.
This aging thing is a lot of fun.
Jack@TheJackB recently posted..I Am A Better Father Than You Are
Oh, I know! I’ve done this with kids who I taught at the beginning of my teaching career. Some have kids older than mine.
The girl I babysat for 4 years just graduated from college. I died a little inside.
Jen recently posted..on Mothers Day
See. Now that’s why I don’t do facebook! ;)
Andrea recently posted..The Lost Girls Book Review
I saw one time that this little baby I used to babysit for (like little, little baby) was engaged. Yep, feelin’ old!!!
Amy recently posted..fathers day diy apron – upcycling tote bags!
Remember: You are only as old as you feel.
So get out of that fetal position & start feeling fabulous (& @ your prime)!
Imogen recently posted..Couldn’t have said it better myself…
Oh boy. I expect I’m going to have a TON of these moments when I’m older, considering how many people’s kids I’ve helped take care of. I have this same experience when looking at my younger sister’s facebook. When she was four, she’d run into the room when I had friends over and spread her butt cheeks apart at us… Now…. I wonder how her BOYFRIEND (who she has sex with!!!!!!!) would feel about her mooning escapades.
You should look at my baby on facebook.he is super cute.
OMG, I feel your pain! I saw the little boy I used to babysit and he has a beard AND a kid! Aaaaahhhhhhh!
Bohemian Hijabi recently posted..Out of Space
When I became friends with my youngest cousin who now wears makeup, I felt the same. Aren’t they supposed to remain children and our faces wrinkle free?
Hatton recently posted..Baby Swimwear on Sale!
The same thing happened to me recently. Depressing.
angie recently posted..Wordful Wednesday-Mother’s Day
I hate FB. Also, the girl I used to babysit that was the flower girl in our wedding- is graduating from high school next month…is tall, with long blonde hair and HUGE knockers. Sigh….
Almost all of the children I used to babysit have found me and friended me on fb. The BABY is now in college. The older ones have graduated college. It’s crazy. They’re all beautiful. It’s amazing how beautiful they all ended up.
I remember the feeling when I asked a girl (she was 14 at the time) to babysit my kids. She was a girl I used to babysit and now she was babysitting MY kids!!!!! That made me feel so old!
April Queen recently posted..Just Three Words
It does however, work both ways. I had my 40th birthday in February and a lady I have known all my life commented on my status how SHE couldn’t believe I was 40!
April Queen recently posted..Just Three Words
I feel exactly the same way when I see the girls I coached many years ago in an under 10 basketball team! They are now my peers; back then they were cute little girls and I was a much much older teenager!
Lee recently posted..The luxury of a cheerful demeanour
Not to self…do not look up anyone I babysat on facebook lol!
Well that’s one way to get over your procrastination… Being on the young end of the mommy age spectrum I was just happy when people stopped assuming that I worked at my son’s daycare!
That is freaky. I’d look up the kids I used to babysit, but I’m pretty sure state prisons don’t allow Facebook. I know that’s where those kids are.
Yeah–we’re getting older. Last night my cousin was lamenting turning 18. I find that as I get older I only get happier though. Hopefully that will remain true! Meanwhile, I’m so fascinated by the ways FB has changed all of our lives. I wonder how long it will be around. I’m sure it seems like the answer is “forever” but look at MySpace, Friendster, etc.
Nina recently posted..New Writer Finds Readers and frets
I hear you. I recently found the two little boys I babysat for, you know, the ones who would scream “can you come wipe me!!” They’re men. Real, live, need to shave, have body hair, men. And they’re married. I feel so old. At least I know no one has to wipe them anymore…
Heligirl: The Positive Discipline Mommy recently posted..Acting Without Words Using Positive Discipline
As a previous teacher of K-5th (special ed) I must admit that I have looked up a few of my more memorable students. My favorite student is pictured smoking a cigarette and on his personal info he is trying to get marijuana legalized. I liked it better when he was frozen in time as a cute 5th grader with braces and a learning disability.
Oh sister I so feel that pain…my low rise jeans didn’t feel so “hip” on me after seeing the pre-pregnancy hips of the young girl I babysat in the same style. Grrrr biotches getting older.
i try not to think about the twins I babysat for, they were brats. One is probably a hedge funder and the daughter is married to one. The mother was so clueless about how to raise kids, she basically married again and to a much richer guy than husband 1, ah the burbs
I actually just deleted my Facebook account two and a half weeks ago. I said (in a status update) that I wanted to deactivate it for two months to get the first draft of my novel written. I wasted SO much time on Facebook when I should have been homeschooling, foster (care) ing, writing, etc. After being off for over two weeks, I really don’t miss it at all, and I don’t think I will reactivated when my two months is up.
Lisa Marie recently posted..Famous People Id Be Scared to Be Friends With
this is awesome. It’s true that facebook is proof that none of us gets younger. I recently removed facebook from my phone as it was distracting me from things like grocery shopping. Cheers.
wendy recently posted..Bizarre Parenting Scenarios
I have found myself in this same place at times. No fun. Not even a little bit. BUT, I do feel like I get better with age in so many ways as do you! I wouldn’t go back to 15 even if you paid me. :-) And, you and I have the same procrastination issue – I don’t have quite as much to do I’m guessing, but a problem nonetheless.
Nicole @MTDLBlog recently posted..A Blog History & a Blog-cation
I had a similar feeling after looking at myself in my old high school yearbook. It’s like who the hell is that? Do I know her? Oh, shit, that’s me…
Oh my goodness!
I know just what you mean.
I was devestated to see some of my FREAKING kindergarteners going off to college.
I am so old.
Life with Kaishon recently posted..Relish moments forget the hotdog
FB makes me feel older, impatient, and wondering why the hell I ever became friends with some of those people in the first place!
Seasoned Air Force Spouse recently posted..Homeschool
okay, so
1. love your blog
2. I do the same thing with Facebook
3. the girl who used to babysit our kids is now getting married herself which is weird because she was 16 like yesterday and
4. not only did jason’s (my husband) babysitter look him up, she’s a grandmother and I’m friends with her on Facebook too.
Getting old’s a bitch
LOL!!! I can’t help it…but i do that on facebook…i PROCRASTINATE!!! I say oh i am going to clean the house…but let me pop on FB for a little bit and see the updates…um…2 hours later i am still screwing around on FB!!! Meaning…yeah…didn’t get to clean the house clean and my 4 year old son is running around in his underwear making more mess. But, to my defense, its addicting…seriously!!!! I look up old school peeps and try to find who was skinny but now got huge (like me) so i don’t feel so bad…i know…its sad but hey it boosts my self esteem for a bit until i see a couple of chics who look the same and have popped out 3 kids where as i only had one and look like like a macy’s float…and yes..i do come around and see kids who are now adults..and i am like what the heck..he/she was like 8 last time i saw him/her now they are posting they are graduating from high school!!!???? LOL!!! So i feel your pain…but hey…there is probably someone saying the same thing about us. So that makes me feel just a tad wee bit better!!! =]
Dude, I think this means WE’RE grown up, Jill – and I’m scared. Very scared. I also think this means we’re getting old. Now I’m in a fetal position. Thanks.
The Flying Chalupa recently posted..Dear Google Maps- My Middle Finger Points North
Dang, I don’t want to even take one baby step down that road. Some of the kids I baby sat could be in thirty with multiple brats of their own. It hurts to even think about it. Next time you’re on Facebook just play Farmville or something that’s both a time waster AND addictive.
Janene Murphy recently posted..Time for Botox- baby!
Oh, don’t feel bad. We all waste time on Facebook and seriously, I am the QUEEN of procrastination. This will make you feel better……20 years ago I had an infant baby girl in my arms. My OWN. I was wayyy past the babysitting years at that point. Feeling better?? *sigh* Where does the time go??
Oh yeah. Facebook.
Lisa @All That and a Box of Rocks recently posted..Wordless Wednesday-Best Buds
Sometimes it is good to go off track for a time. Gardening is great! Too much time on FB and I start to feel a little guilty. Everything will come full circle.
Autherine@BoysRising recently posted..Reading the Happiest Mom- Join Me!
I knew i was growing up when an acquaintance of a friend’s child first addressed me as “Ma’am”…
Sarah@afterhood recently posted..A Mother’s Words of Wisdom
I get sucked into the Facebook vortex ever so often. Its like Lays potato chips… you just keep clicking and clicking until you neck hurts and your eyes are watering. 90 percent of the time I have click on friends of friends of friends and I have no idea why. what exactly am I looking for?
I had a “little” girl I used to sit add me… she is 3 with two kids of her own. OMGoodness… yep I am OLD.
I am now ALLOWED to be on FB at work… yep.. all I want. (paint my nails at my desk too..) Being allowed has kind of taken the joy out of it…
Just go on.. get it out of your system. :-)