Jeff and I move a lot. A LOT. We’ve been in our current house a whopping two and a half years and that’s the longest we’ve ever lasted in a place. The shortest was a mere six months, with a nine monther thrown in there too. Everybody we know thinks we’re crazy, and I’m beginning to think they’re right.
Moving used to be fun. Back in the day when there was money to be made with real estate and no children to pack up, it was a blast. We’d buy a place, make some improvements and move on. I consider myself a professional-grade packer and mover by now, and found it a challenge to unpack and decorate in a few days. It was exciting and thrilling and we loved it. Back in the day.
These days, it just plain sucks. The last two houses we owned took us forever to sell and we took a loss on both. Each was full of stress and disappointment and financial burden. The house we’re in now was always meant to be a transition house to get us back into the area before we decided on where to settle down. It’s not the right neighborhood for us and I’m anxious to put some roots down in the right place, this being far from it.
Now that we’re looking at a forever house, or at least a long-term house, it’s so much more complicated. Four or five bedrooms, a decent yard for the kids to play in, public schools that we’re comfortable with and a price tag we can afford. It’s almost impossible. Except, last weekend, we found it: The perfect house. A beautiful staircase, just like I’d always imagined. Shingles and shutters and glass detail on the door. A Jack and Jill bathroom for the kids, a sunny family room and the charm I crave. It was perfect.
Unfortunately, it was also perfect for the couple that will be moving in next month. The couple who didn’t have a house to sell first. The couple whose financing I am evilly hoping will suddenly fall through, allowing us to live in the house I can’t stop thinking about.
Our house.
{ 55 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m sorry that you didn’t get it. My husband and I had that happen to us when we were house hunting a few years ago, and I still chafe at the loss. :(
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Scary Mommy Reply:
November 2nd, 2009 at 9:49 pm
We’ve lost a ton of houses, and I’ve gotten over them all. I have a feeling this one will always sting.
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I’ve said this before to another blogger whom wrote about losing a bid of their “perfect house.” We too lost our bid and were devastated, 2 weeks later *this* house popped up on the market. Much nicer, cheaper, and a beautiful street. Truly our forever home. Im a big believer in things happening for reasons. Hang in there girlfriend.
OHmommy´s last blog ..An apology to the 3rd child on Halloween day
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Scary Mommy Reply:
November 2nd, 2009 at 9:50 pm
I’m totally *not* a believer in everything happens for a reason. I really want to be though. Perhaps something will happen here to make me a believer. :)
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Oh that sucks. REALLY SUCKS. I feel your pain. I am in a house that I am not meant for right now. It is too close to my neighbors. It is long and skinny. It has no history. AND…I’ll probably live and die here thanks to the real estate market. So much for the “Practical Magic” house I always dreamed of.
JenniferG´s last blog ..I’m Pretty Sure I Am Getting Arrested This Week, Just So You Know
Twitter: MammaMania
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Scary Mommy Reply:
November 2nd, 2009 at 9:51 pm
This damn market sucks. SUCKS.
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I’m sorry. :( Sending wishes for an even better house in an even better neighborhood. Or, you know, the financing debacle thing. ;) Whichever.
Ryan Ashley Scott´s last blog ..6WS: My "Don’t Break The Ice" costume
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I know you don’t want to hear this, b/c I didn’t want to hear it either, but it will work out, it will be ok. And it is ok to drink and scream and cry in the meantime. I did. A lot.
jodifur´s last blog ..Jam Packed Action Packed Halloween Weekend
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So sorry! I have the moving bug now but I know that in this economy there is no way that will happen! Keep looking! When the house we really wanted was bought by someone else we bought the house 2 doors down. We are now great friends with the owners and love our house! PLUS when we had the floods last month they flooded and we didn’t! : )
Twitter: atlmomguide
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That is heartbreaking. I remember finding and losing the most beautiful dream garden apt when my husband and I first moved in together. We were there first. I gave the landlord the down payment, and he gave it to a married couple with more solid income. It broke my heart, and the apt. we eventually found was just okay.
BUT.
All I remember is the fun we had–a constant slumber party, tons of eating out and going out.
It’s less about the house than you think.
xoxo
Ann’s Rants´s last blog ..Interview With Myself #3: 16-year-old Retail Clerk
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Scary Mommy Reply:
November 2nd, 2009 at 9:55 pm
I know you’re right, it just kills me that the house was just within our grasp, you know? If it was more expensive or more work or whatever I’d be able to get over it. And, I will. Just not yet.
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Oh, that really stinks, Jill…. I have gone through this once before, almost 8 years ago and I still think about that house. Coincidentally, it had a jack ‘n jill bathroom and sunroom, too…. Unfortunately, it also had a bad ceramic tile roof, an ancient electrical system and boiler, and (I found out later) a cracked foundation under that beautiful sunroom. Even knowing all that, I used to drive by it every so often just to look at it longingly and imagine my family living there. God, I loved that house!!
Amy @ The Bitchin’ Wives Club´s last blog ..Rehearsals: Quiet on the set, please!
Twitter: theBitchinWife
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That does stink! Will be hoping there is another perfect house for you!
Melissa Multitasking Mama´s last blog ..Monday Morning Reflections
Twitter: multitaskingme
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Wait… I will add something positive to my comment, which really wasn’t going to make you feel better, was it?
Because we didn’t get that house, we ended up staying in our original house and just fixing it up and adding on. We were able to make it into our dreamhouse for less money and stay put on our street that eventually flipped to a younger demographic and became the best block I could ever imagine living on. I love all those other families, like my own family now. :) Everything happens for a reason and works out just like it is supposed to.
Amy @ The Bitchin’ Wives Club´s last blog ..Rehearsals: Quiet on the set, please!
Twitter: theBitchinWife
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Scary Mommy Reply:
November 2nd, 2009 at 9:55 pm
That was a bit more uplifting. :)
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I know the feeling, so I’m sorry to hear what happened. I hate to sound too “pollyanic”, but it just means that there is a more perfect house out there for you! Don’t rely on a real estate agent to find that house, either. Just keep checking Zillow and Redfin. That’s what I did until I stumbled on my dream house.
Aimee´s last blog ..Express Yourself
Twitter: aintyomamasblog
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Scary Mommy Reply:
November 2nd, 2009 at 9:56 pm
Oh, we never rely on the agents- we pre-screen for THEM!
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We bought the house we’re in now with the intention of staying no more than five years. It was our first married house, our temporary house. But now my husband is in love with it. Inexplicably. Not to mention that the market is for crap. Sadly, I don’t think we’ll get a bidding war on our house. Huge sigh.
You’ll find something. And then we can have playdates! With wine. Just kidding. Sortof.
Cara´s last blog ..Happy Halloween!
Twitter: Carabee
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Ugghh. There’s nothing worse than that feeling that you’ve missed out on your dream house. We’ve moved a lot too. I’ve never enjoyed it quite like you did though, LOL! I have to believe for you that, even in this terrible market, YOUR house is still out there and for some reason this one was just not meant to be. That’s all we can tell ourselves. We’re also living in a “transition” house that we wonder if we’ll ever get out of. It’s gotten so bad here, that FHA is no longer giving loans in our area. It was especially hard to go trick-or-treating in a neighborhood we’d like to be living in and then come home, but then, I need to be thankful that I still have a home to come home to. Hope for all of us things turn around soon!
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move out by us! fairfax county has excellent schools and lots of yards.
deb´s last blog ..Eggroll? Eggroll, Who?
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–>Sorry about the house. Did you write a letter with your offer about how much you want it and include a picture of the kids? Most people are visual and I know seeing the faces that would be living in the house I was selling would sway me…of course it would be all numbers for my husband but still….You’re a blogger, put those writing skills to the test! It can’t hurt!
~deb
WebSavyMom´s last blog ..What? You didn’t have a dog pulling a cart for Halloween?
Twitter: debthaxton
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Scary Mommy Reply:
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:11 pm
So funny you ask that! Yes, my husband (who is the *real* writer in the family) wrote a letter as he always does. Apparently, it was not convincing enough.
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There are LOADS of perfect homes around me…as long as your husband doesn’t mind commuting from South Jersey. But on the upside…we could be neighbors ;) Hang in there!
Julie B.´s last blog ..A Day Late and a Candy Bar Short (or several candy bars)
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Oh if there is any chance at all that this will fall through for the other family, I hope it is the case! Aww, that sucks, Jill and I am sorry! It must be stressful…. :( I hope you find your dream home soon. I’m sure you will! And I hope it is even closer in location to where my uncle/aunt live, so the next time I come visit, we can get together even more!
Loukia´s last blog ..Don’t say I didn’t warn you…
Twitter: MrsLoulou
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I’m a mover too….I really feel weird staying in one place for more than a year or so. We bought a house a little over 2 years ago, and I’m ready to leave already. Too bad the market sucks for housing and finance (bf works in finance and is lucky to still have a job). Soooooo we can’t really go anywhere else until both issues perk up :-(
Amber´s last blog ..Writing
Twitter: unlikelymama
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I hate realtors and after my California debacle, pending foreclosure and near bankruptcy, I now hate real estate. I don’t care if I have to live in a trailer. I’m ready to move on to the next chapter.
Sorry you lost the house. It’s ok to have a pity party. Sometimes it helps.
Lori´s last blog ..I Am A Winner!
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My sister is a real estate agent so I get to hear all of her stories…so sad. Your house is still out there…keep on looking!
Mama Kat´s last blog ..A Bunch Of Winners If You Ask Me!
Twitter: mamakatslosinit
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Oh, that just plain sucks. I’m so sorry! And I can commiserate about the moving. Now we’ve finally stayed put in a house, but it’s the one we always planned to ‘transition’ out of too! We’re still here, five years later. I know there are worse things, but it’s still ok to be disappointed.
Amy at Never-True Tales´s last blog ..Ghost of Halloween Past
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Jill, this really stinks. I’m so sorry. We found a gorgeous house a few years ago and were ready to make an offer, and then both of us had a horrible feeling that we shouldn’t do it. It broke my heart. But now I am grateful that I might be losing THIS house, and not THAT house. It’s not the same, but I do feel your pain.
Lolli´s last blog ..My Flip Ultra HD Camera Winner!
Twitter: 1momof5
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I’m so sorry. That’s so heartbreaking when you find “the one” and then find out that it’s actually not meant to be. Keep the faith that there’s a better one out there…one that will allow you to toss the moving boxes forever.
I did that after this last move, and man, did it feel good.
amber´s last blog ..The Ins and Outs of Social Media According to Me.
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PS–when we bought this house, we thought it would be a transition house as well. A starter house. We moved in with one baby, knowing that more would be coming soon, and that we’d outgrow it in a few years. We figured we’d make it 5 or so. We never ever thought it would be 11+.
Lolli´s last blog ..My Flip Ultra HD Camera Winner!
Twitter: 1momof5
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Oh, Jill… that SUCKS.
I wouldn’t call the house we’re in now our “dream house”… but when we were looking to move, it had everything I had wanted (at that time). And we almost didn’t get it. So I can understand your frustration and disappointment. So sorry, honey!
Shannon´s last blog ..The Obligatory Halloween Post
Twitter: NutHouseShannon
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This is awful. Can you guys build a house, the perfect one just how you want it?
That’s what we did when we couldn’t find the perfect one.
Jen @ buried with children´s last blog ..Let’s Go: A Vlog
Twitter: buriedwithkids
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I feel ya. I am in my “transitional condo” now and I’m hoping that we can unload it next spring/summer to move to our forever city and our forever house. It sucks seeing where you want to be and not be able to get there as soon as you want.
Jensational´s last blog ..I am that kind of person . . .
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I feel your pain. I really do. We move often, too, and I still enjoy it…..even in this market and with 3 children. I love to explore new parts of the country. Not ready to stop yet, even though we really love Kansas City.
Last relocation included a 7 month stint for me as a single mother of 3 with 2 in diapers. Our oldest was very involved in tackle football (first year) and was studying to receive his First Communion and Reconciliation. Which means, I was ALWAYS taking him somewhere….with 2 little ones in tow. It was exhausting.
We’re renting now….and may keep renting, depending on the market. Scared to buy. Lost a bundle on our last house. So, we’re not looking for the perfect house quite yet. Sorry you had yours slip away. Hopefully an even better one will present itself when it’s time.
Starnes Fam´s last blog ..American Girl
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I’m sorry. I AM a believer in “meant to be” and that is what will happen for you guys. Something is wrong with that house that you just don’t know about yet.
Jennifer´s last blog ..The Time Change Sucks
Twitter: jwilliams057
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I hate to place myself in the “meant to be” camp….but it happened to us as well. At the time, I was so bummed. Now, I’m so happy we are in our townhome. Hang in there:)
Nap Warden´s last blog ..Bring on the Freak Show
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That sucks! Don’t feel too bad for hoping that their financing might fall through. There’s actually a good chance that it could happen! I used to work in real estate and we’d see it happen all the time. And that was even before the market/economy crash!
Twitter: Colorado_Mommy
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We has something similar happen in May. Our dream house wouldn’t work with our financing, the down side of a VA loan. We had to wait 90 days to try to make it work. In July we bought a better neighborhood, with better schools and a short communte for my husband. The “dream” house sold for more than this one and is already back on the market. The right house will come along, which is a lame way of telling you something you already know. Good luck, drink wine and stay sane.
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Sorry that sucks! I totally hope their financing falls flat on it’s face .
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Oh no! I am going to hope and pray their financing falls thru to! Cause I am evil like that : )
Life with Kaishon´s last blog ..Pumpkin Patch Part 2
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i’m sure YOUR house will find you, and soon!
scrappysue´s last blog ..CSNBaby Giveaway winner!
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Oh man… I hate moving house too. Most cos I am darn lazy and I hate the packing. And the unpacking!
All the best for your dream house! :)
San´s last blog ..Lunch at Ma Maison
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If the house is right for you, you’ll land it. If not, you’ll find what you need. I firmly believe that the right house is out there and you will find it. Ours sat empty for four years before we moved in, and we had a dreadful closing with lots of ridiculous obstacles, and even though it’s not my dream house it’s just exactly what we needed and it suits us even after 15 years (wow!).
Sally´s last blog ..Eye Candy
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Oh, maaaaan!
Nan´s last blog ..Scary Stuff
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Oh, I am so sorry. That must be frustrating but there WILL be another house just perfect for you. Really!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Live.Love.Eat´s last blog ..Mississippi Mud Brownies
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I hope you get “your house!”
Me and husband moved so much too…right now the house we’re living in is the longest we’ve ever stayed at a place. It will be 2 years for us too…everyone thinks we’re crazy for moving so much. Now that we have kids, moving is just not as much fun as it used to be. :)
Stephaine @ Geezees´s last blog ..old baby photos …. and some canvas pics!
Twitter: Geezees
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Oh Jill so sorry to hear you didn’t get that house (yet!). But I honestly think everything happens for a reason, and hopefully there’s a better house out there for you. Or that other couple’s financing will fall through. Or something.
I feel for you – we moved four times in two years. We’ve now lived in this house 3.5 years – by far the longest we’ve lived anywhere!
christy´s last blog ..Pregnant exercise
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that sucks…sorry Jill! Do you want me to wish evil thoughts on the couple that “stole” your dream house? I totally will :) Are you looking in the same area?
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We lost a bidding war on our dream house about 2 years ago. While we are in a home now that we have big plans for, it still stings like hell when I think of someone else enjoying our perfect home. gag.
jen´s last blog ..trying
Twitter: musicangel74
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I saw my dream house when we were house hunting for my daughter’s family…we couldn’t afford it, but I still remember that house! Oh well, I told myself…the morgage is now paid on our little starter home, and I’m now trying to put the things I liked most about the “dream house” into the home I raised my children in. It’s old & a bit run down…but so am I. Most of all, it’s full of memories & love in every old nook and cranny…it’s home. I pray you find what I found.
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This happened to me about a million times before we found the house that we are in now. Every time we looked at the house, I proclaimed my love for it and then cried when someone else beat us to it. BUT then we found our new amazing house. So don’t lose hope yet!
Nel´s last blog ..Don’t worry, I’m still pregnant!
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This is just the universe’s way of telling you to leave the east coast and come to California.
Forget all of that “don’t lose hope” stuff. Let’s make it happen.
Mayhem and Moxie´s last blog ..Tribute Tuesday: Favorite Teacher
Twitter: mayhemandmoxie
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I feel ya on the moving… my DH & I moved four times in our first 16 months of marriage. It can be a headache! I’m sorry you didn’t get that house you wanted, but that is just cosmic proof that a better house is out there for you!
~Elizabeth
http://confessionsfromaworkingmom.blogspot.com/
Elizabeth´s last blog ..G Want Cookie
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I’m going to be an ass and ask: Are you still moving your wedding dress each time you change houses? I have a history with such things.
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Scary Mommy Reply:
November 3rd, 2009 at 5:24 pm
LOL, yes. The wedding dress has survived the moves. And the marriage, too, which is more remarkable!
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Hubby and I will be buying our first house within the year (we hope). He still has four years left in the marines, but we’re hoping to find that perfect house we want to settle down in and rent it out over the next few years. Thankfully we live in an apartment and don’t have to worry about selling first… I do hate moving. I really hope the house we find really is our forever place. (Until Sophia and any other children are grown and we buy an empty nest home, anyways.) May you find your forever home soon as well. :)
Gigi´s last blog ..Listmania… I-Wanna-Read
Twitter: ggthewifey
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I’m so sorry ~ I work in real estate and it’s so hard right now. Moving with kids is definitely not for the meek. Sounds like you have it down, so I may be consulting you in the near future. :)
Momlissa´s last blog ..Quack Friggin’ Quack
Twitter: momlissa
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