Although I don’t always remember my dreams, I am often haunted by the same one: I am back in college and quickly approaching graduation. Suddenly, I remember that there was some class I couldn’t handle and intended to withdraw from. Unfortunately, I never did withdraw, which meant that I had just been skipping the class all semester, resulting in a failing grade that would prevent me from graduating. I wake up from the dream breathless and panicked, because although it was just a dream, it is easily something I could have actually done. Even in my half-sleeping condition, I realize that much.
I was always a pretty terrible student. My report cards from grade school spoke of creativity and potential a hell of a lot more than they did actual performance. I just knew that I would somehow end up in the arts, and a knowledge of things such as biology and calculus was totally unnecessary. Somehow, I managed to graduate from high school and then a top university, grateful to be done with all things education. Forever.
Except, I had kids. Again, perhaps if I had paid more attention in school I would have understood that you need to actually educate your children. And I’m just not cut out for that.
Even in kindergarten, Lily’s homework perplexes me. Short A verses Long A— what the hell does that even mean? The diagrams, the patterns and the problems make no sense to my brain. Even though I know the answers, my way of getting there still differs from the “right” way and I can’t even imagine how I will deal with her homework five or ten years from now. Perhaps I should have paid more attention in class.
At least I can teach my children that lesson.
* P.S. I had to Google “kindergartener” to see how it was spelled. And it’s totally not how I thought it was.
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{ 72 comments… read them below or add one }
You have NO idea how happy I am to hear I am not the only parent of a elementary school kid who has NO IDEA what the correct answer is!
Jessica Jones´s last blog ..My Friday Fave: Authentic Living Counseling
I’m so thankful for google!!! every time my son (grade 5) asks me something I don’t know I say “google it!”
MelanieD´s last blog ..WTFriday!!!!!!!
Homework these days seems so much easier than homework when I was a kid, because you can just google all the answers. Or, at least that’s what I’m hoping, anyway, because I’ll probably be in the same position you are.
C @ Kid Things´s last blog ..Growing Colder
Oh no I am afraid of the kindergarten days! Seriously – Thank God for Google and Wikipedia. I am sure I will love them even more when my kids are in school!
I’m with you on this homework nonsense. While I was a good student in school, that was an effin’ long time ago. I don’t remember half of what I learned…
Shannon´s last blog ..It worked!
Same here….my teenage daughter doesn’t even bother with me any more….she looks at me like I’m an idiot! And I very well might be!
Happy New Year!
Kathy´s last blog ..Sundays In My City-Bremen covered in white stuff
Believe me, even when one has done well in school all their lives, kid’s homework is still a pain.
Fran Magbual´s last blog ..Trini Hansen left a comment for Fran Magbual
I agree with Fran. Even a Rhodes Scholar would have trouble understanding the complex way our educators explain simple things.
Lynn from For Love or Funny´s last blog ..I look better covered in snow.
That is why I brilliantly started tucking money away for a tutor.
I marveled a while back that with the birth of our children, we go from being the ones with all the questions to the ones with all the answers. And I? Am completely unprepared to be that person.
Cara´s last blog ..They Really Are Angellic When They Sleep
That’s a frightening way of putting it- so true!
OMG! You are describing my life except that I WAS a teacher and I’m still baffled by half of my DD’s homework! I have blogged about exactly this same dream just a month ago, and the other half of my posts seem to be about all the crying my 9 year old and I do over her freakin’ geography homework and excessive tests!
I FEEL YOUR PAIN!
Kim´s last blog ..Slide Show Sunday
Ha! That’s too funny!!
I know that feeling of being panic stricken. I have had the same dream of not going to class and failing. It sets the tone for a bad day when I have that dream. I also have the dream where I can’t find my locker or remember the combination. I don’t think those dreams started until I went from an honor student to remedial algebra. To this day I never have had to use algebra and can’t imagine I ever will.
I cannot, and I mean CANNOT do elementary school math. Madison will ask me for help on a 3rd grade problem and I just stare at her with glassy eyes. So I’m just saying, it’s going to get worse from here.
Justine :o )
Justine´s last blog ..Sunday Scramble
OMG.. we are SOUL SISTERS.. thank goodness married a SMART man..
american in norway´s last blog ..Where I come off sounding like an ungrateful BIOTCH
I married.. as smart man… (see what I mean?)
american in norway´s last blog ..Where I come off sounding like an ungrateful BIOTCH
Typos on blog comments are the WORST! I only notice when *I* make them though. :)
I did well in school and still have trouble with the kids homework and mostly because as you said, we don’t do it the “right” way… adding is adding or so I thought.
My kids projects probably didn’t look as good as your kids…
Vodka Logic´s last blog ..Sunday Rerun-The Path
I don’t know how to spell Kindergarten either. . but luckily I’m a few years away, and of course “pre-k” is first, which doesn’t require the spelling.
x,
Paula
http://www.adhocmom.com
Hilarious!! I hear ya, loud and clear. In your defense, Kindergarten is a tricky word :)
I was a great student, except for Math, because Math is DUMB! Now, my six year old asks me questions from her workbooks and I give her the um-totally-ask-your-dad-because-my-answer-to-every-math-question-ever-is-”cannot be found look!!
Luckily, there’s the internet :)
Execumama´s last blog ..Gabrielle Union, Halle Berry, and the " I’m Pretty, Now What" Syndrome
Math is dumb. And the fact that I still count on my fingers isn’t embarrassing in the least.
I can help my kids with some of their homework, then there’s some of it that just blows my mind.
Very thankful for Google…what would we parents do without it :)
Stephaine @ Geezees´s last blog ..Kids photos on canvas, and The "B" Word …. kids are too funny
I was totally perplexed when I was helping Grace with her spelling list in 1st or 2nd grade and the word was spelunker. I totally had no idea what one was.
I have that same dream! It’s always about a calculus class. I always go back at the end of the sememster after not attending the class to take the test and have NO idea what I’m doing.
I found once I had kids that I DO NOT like trying to teach them to read. I don’t have the patience. Once it clicks I’m OK……..but before that? Just call me dead beat.
angie´s last blog ..Favorite Thing #1
The short-A long-A thing was an eye opener for me when I was in 2nd grade. I remember failing the test and having no grasp of the difference between the two and the teacher was like “OK, let’s go to the next chapter in the book” and I sat there thinking “Wait, I don’t get this and no one cares.” and it SHOULD have made me realize that no one was going to make sure I learned something other than myself but I remember a deep feeling of relief that if I didn’t learn something, no one was going to force me to feel stupid about it for longer than a week. Then we’d move on.
I HATE that dream. It takes me a good 5 minutes to realize that it isn’t true and that they can’t take back my diploma.
I had no idea how common that dream is!
You crack me up! And since I don’t think you’re German, there’s no shame in not knowing how to spell kindergartener…it’s a German word!
TheKitchenWitch´s last blog ..Shrink-My-Ass-Month: Salmon with Ginger-Soy Butter
Phew, I’m good.
First grade math perplexes me. I live in constant fear of the day he starts algebra. Poor guy will be on his own.
I’ve got the academics covered, it’s the street wise stuff she throws at me that I can’t wrap my head around. This four year old can turn your logic until your shouting that of course she deserves ChuckECheese and some time away from her brother. I shudder to think of what will come with the next ten years.
Lori Z.´s last blog ..What is Wrong With Me?
I disgust myself–I meant you’re.
Lori Z.´s last blog ..What is Wrong With Me?
Me too me too!
I am SO scared for my son to start kindergarten and begin his long journey of finding out Mom just ain’t that book smart…
Always creative, but never great at math, science, social studies— you know the boring stuff.lol
Complicated Mama´s last blog ..My Keurig: Addicitive? or Magical? you decide.
I have that same dream, frequently!! And I’m so thankful that my 13-year-old does his own homework, and my kindergartner doesn’t have much yet.
Suzy Voices´s last blog ..Thirteen
Ughhh, homework.
I never had much of it when I was in school. I did it all during the classes (except for the occasional long paper I had to write) and I never much had to study either. Somehow I maintained a low A average.
However, my 1st grader has more homework now than I did as a high-schooler. The next thing I know they are going to want him to write a compare and contrast paper on the usage of thick pencils by children.
Its all rather exhausting.
Sunday Stilwell´s last blog ..All About MEme Monday: Birthdays
I so looking forward to doing homework with my toddler. He just started preschool and this morning we did his homework for tommorrow class. It was fun…all it entitled was drawing. However I have seem the homework that my nephew has and yes it looks confusing…I guess we’ll learn it together or google the answers. ;)
As a former teacher, I remember having to teach grammar and I had to give myself a lesson before teaching it!
Pres. Kathy´s last blog ..NEW YEAR’s GIVEAWAY!
As a former teacher as well (grade 8) I couldn’t spell Thursday right….keep writing Thrusday. Sad thing is kids would keep telling me I spelled it wrong and I would keep insisting it was right.
How do you graduate from a top college if you don’t get excellent grades in high school? You must have been a better performer than you thought.
I have similar dreams (more like realizing that I forgot to go to class all semester and now have to take an exam). And I don’t miss the “school” part of school one bit. I really dread doing homework with my kids…
Seriously, it’s a marvel. I have no idea what they were thinking letting me it. It was a miracle.
Haha! I have the SAME reoccurring dream! Crazy. I love waking up knowing that I did graduate from college. Thank G-D! Anyways, I think you and I would have been great friends in our college days. Thankfully I am not in the homework stage just yet, I am sure to make an ass of myself when the time comes. My husband and I have agreed that he will be the one helping with homework….at least for the kiddies sake!
Jodi´s last blog ..New Year’s Resolutions!
I totally misspelled that word earlier as well. That is why I married my wife. She is smart and beautiful. She makes the beautiful kids and teaches them. I clean up and do the laundry.
DCUrbanDad´s last blog ..What did you learn this past weekend?
I work in a School as an Additional Adult Assistant and the parents get their childrens’ homework wrong pretty often! LOL What’s funny is that a child will insist something is wrong that the parent does and the parent will them to ‘CORRECT’ it when all along the child is right! :) It’s funny how much you learn going back into School. I wish I paid more attention and had the desire to learn back then.
I’m still agreeing with you about that dream prior to college graduation – why do so many of us have that! I still do and I graduated from college 8 years ago. Maybe because I’m in grad school?
T Rex Mom´s last blog ..Last Day of Freedom Before School Starts Again…
Is is sad that I once googled how to spell MICHAEL? Yep. I had to use google to correctly spell my own husband’s name.
Hugs and Mocha,
Stesha
Stesha´s last blog ..The Road To A Skinner Healthier Me – The First Step
That is so funny— I always confuse the E and the A on that one!
I didn’t realize that having kids meant doing homework again. My third grader has these word problems that are being taught differently than I learned.
Proud to say that I get the right answer, I just can’t do it the way that he was taught.
Jack´s last blog ..Is Private School Worth It
My version of the dream was always that I hadn’t ever been to class but had to take the final exam — and couldn’t find the classroom and was trying to cram on the way to it, etc.. FINALLY, after years of that dream, mine has switched. Now I dream that I’m the professor and I was supposed to be in class for the last few weeks, but I just never went. And now I’m running late on the day I will show up for the first time, and trying desperately to figure out how to explain myself to the students I’m sure are just lying in wait for me. Furious.
As for the homework: the math teaching strategies have changed anyway since we were kids, so you can always plead that “learned a different way.” :)
MommyTime´s last blog ..The Siren Call of Stuff (part 1)
I think they’ve totally changed the methods that were used when we were growing up.
I was the same as you though. I DID try really hard through JR. High, by the time I was a senior, I was so burned out, no one had warned me that 11 and 12th grades were the ones that REALLY mattered! I’d spent all my study juice previously. I had one exam Senior year. English. The rest were courses that didn’t require exams. I think I was a genius! :)
Julie´s last blog ..All Dogs Go to Heaven, Hate it, and Then Come Back to Earth.
I kind of know what you mean. I dread when my cousins ask me for homework help. I feel so inadequate and really I’m not. What’s funny is most of us are like this. Which proves all those teachers wrong -we really didn’t have to know that stuff! My poor future children. . . .
Us teachers don’t mind you. We just like that you are sitting down and making your kid do the homework. Just encourage her to come ask for help if she needs it. No teacher wants the parents to do all the work. They usually end up doing it the wrong way anyhow.
Aimee´s last blog ..cheeze and chocolate
I may not be smarter than a kindergartener but I’m very adept at using Google, Wikipedia, Urban Dictionary and Thesaurus.com! So there!
Jane´s last blog ..Beware The Attack Of The Joy Suckers
hahaha i always joke that my future kids are screwed. Especially when it comes to math since my skills do not go beyond 3rd grade math and I add w/ my fingers (no seriously i do) I think homework will have to be left up to my husband!
Jen @ After The Alter´s last blog ..The Blog World is Like High School
I always joke that my future kids are screwed. Especially when it comes to math since my skills do not go beyond 3rd grade math and I add w/ my fingers (no seriously i do) I think homework will have to be left up to my husband!
Jen @ After The Alter´s last blog ..The Blog World is Like High School
that actually happened to me in college. signed up for a web design class and then FORGOT I SIGNED UP FOR IT until i checked grades mid semester. totally screwed me.
Kendra´s last blog ..On the eve of my 33rd Birthday….
Oh, no! Please don’t go there!
I always had pretty good grades but I hardly retain anything besides useless information.
Ask me ANYTHING about ‘Friends’ and I’m sure I know the answer. Ask me something I learned (or at least supposed to) in school, that’s another story.
p.s. congrats on your new job!!!
Sophia’s Mom´s last blog ..Summit on the Summit: Celebrities Making a Difference
The phonetic alphabet gets me ever time! And how do you teach a child (or me) the difference between the sound of a “c” and a “k” they both sound the same to me.
Give me something mathematical anyday – I will probably get it wrong but at least I’ll try.
blueskyhi´s last blog ..My Medical Nightmare
I went to a meeting at our school about how they teach our children to read. They put up a poster of the phonemes that the children learnt, and said “You probably can’t always name all 44* phonemes. Sometimes the teachers can’t remember them all.”
And I was all “name the WHATsits?” What the hell are THEY?
Just because I use them to speak, doesn’t mean I know a) what they’re called, and b) how many there are!
* 43, 44, 46 – I don’t actually remember how many there are!
pixielation´s last blog ..Teddy Bears – like currency, only furrier
I would like to volunteer as your “on-call” homework helper. I’m your mama for all things phonics. ;)
Sara — The Football Wife´s last blog ..A Hot Mess
WOW – I am preplexed to know that someone has the exact same dream as me. I have that dream at least once a month. Often times I ask myself – 8 years after graduation – am I really qualify to have this job and make X amount of money.
I only have 1 y/o but I dread the homework challenges already. These are things you don’t think about when you decide to have children!!!!
Can I just say how glad I am that I’m not the only person who can’t spell that word? Very funny post Jill! Hope you’re loving your new job!
I have a very similar dream!!! Mine is usually that I ‘forgot’ that I had registered for a class and realize that I had missed the whole semester. I attended the first class or so and never went back. One more is that I lost my schedule and I have NO idea what my classes are and I can’t go to class. And the other one is that I’m lost on campus and can’t find my classes!
Melanie´s last blog ..Happy…
Hey, as a teacher? I have to look twice at the long and short a sounds sometimes too. Oh, and have no idea how to spell definetely.
Sara @ domestically Challenged´s last blog ..Patiently waiting…
This is one of my great fears in becoming a parent…having to tell my 1st grader that “mommy can’t help with your homework honey, because mommy doesn’t know how to do it.” Yikes!
Well…at least I’m not the only one! Thanks Scary Mommy!
The Pursuit of Mommyness´s last blog ..5 Things Modern Wives Could Learn from a 1955 Magazine Article
Did you know you are on Babble’s contest list! You are doing well!!!
http://www.babble.com/babble-50/mommy-bloggers/nominate-a-blogger/index.aspx
Jodi´s last blog ..Happy Birthday i heart faces!
Hey, at least you’re Googling answers! You could’ve just made stuff up… and that’s how you give your children traumatic experiences like when I entered a chess competition (yes) only to realize that the rules I’d learned from my mother WERE NOT THE ACTUAL RULES.
Scary Mommy is a good mommy.
I almost alwas spell kindergartner wrong. That T should really be a D!
Amber´s last blog ..Age Adjustment
Wait until you get to short stable c and open and closed syllables. And freakin’ TERC math. Oye! I hate math. I am no good at math and apparently I have passed that off to at least one of my children. Yeah. he WON’T thank me for that later.
JenniferG´s last blog ..I May End Up Perishing In A Vat Of Lava. Just Sayin’
Oh my gosh. Laughing my head off about you googling kindergartner! : )
Life with Kaishon´s last blog ..da Babiez!
Just wait. It gets better. Sometimes I feel so dumb. My 13 year old daughter is in higher math than I was, I think.
Oh, and I’ve had the same dream. Not for a while. I’d like to know what prompts those nightmares. Ugh.
Lolli´s last blog ..Give Me Your Best Shot
Math was my big bugaboo in school. I was a teacher who taught kindergarten and first grade…that math was just right for me to teach. It actually wasn’t until I had to take a class called “math for teachers” where they explain the theory behind the math that I finally understood some things from high school!
Judy´s last blog ..10 Things to Work on this Year