Mommy Porn (for the rest of us)

I found myself at a party last weekend, full of couples and families. Once the kids were out of earshot, conversation turned, like it has so many times over the past few months, to Fifty Shades of fucking Grey. The room quickly divided between the couples whose sex lives it changed for the positive and those whose it hasn't.

Sadly for my husband, we remained on the latter side, staring back at the rosy cheeked (pun, intended) and giddy couples. I have heard again and again from a nauseating number of friends and family how utterly amazing the book has been for them and I'm sick to death of it. I guess I'm really just a simple girl at heart, because it doesn't take rough bondage and fancy equipment to turn me on.

Here's my version of mommy porn.

Anyone else need a cold shower?

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