Susanne Kerns is a writer and marketing consultant living in Austin, Texas. Her stories have been featured in the books It’s Really 10 Months–Special Delivery and Martinis & Motherhood: Tales of Wonder, Woe & WTF?! as well as a variety of websites, including her blog, The Dusty Parachute. You can find her on Facebook 20 hours a day and on Instagram, where she posts her tasteful nudes (mostly photos of cats and margaritas—both nude). You can also find her on Twitter whenever she accidentally opens the wrong app on her phone.