Little Babies In A Spa = Ovaries Everywhere Exploding

Little Babies In A Spa = Ovaries Everywhere Exploding

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These pictures of babies chilling at the spa are exactly what you need right now

Babies don’t need spas — they literally do nothing all day.  Moms are the ones who need the spa time, dammit. But we’ll let that go, because the baby spa is a thing, and tiny babies floating in water = hold on to your ovaries. There is so much adorable squishiness ahead you might find yourself aching for little newborn to indulge (*quickly erases vasectomy reversal when husband walks by laptop).

These baby spas are calling themselves “sanctuaries for babies” where newborns from two days up to six months old can check-in for a day at the spa. They offer massage and hydrotherapy sessions for your stressed out little bambino. I mean, napping all day and being constantly cuddled while everyone smiles at you can be stressful, people. It’s a rough life and dammit, these kids need a break.

Baby spas use a patented “BUBBY” (i.e., the inner tube looking things holding up the baby’s head) —that “supports babies in the water, allowing them freedom of movement that they would otherwise not experience.” The BUBBY won’t hurt the baby at all but will cause you to scream to anyone in the vicinity, “For the love of all that is holy, get over here RIGHT THIS MINUTE and look at these GD baby floating heads.” This can be an odd thing to hear without context, so check these out.

“Hey guys…check out my cool #FloatBaby swim diaper! Ready for the weekend 😝”

A post shared by Float Baby (@floatbaby) on

Float Babies provides parents with information about the benefits of baby massage, sensory stimulation and tips and tricks for first timers. A typical baby spa session lasts about an hour, includes ten to 30 minutes of bath floating time followed by massage, and costs $65. According to the Baby Spa Perth website, hydrotherapy can increase muscular and skeletal strength and has been shown to have “a positive effect on the digestive and circulatory systems, which can reduce meconium levels and lowers the risk of jaundice three or four days after birth.”

Think about all the useless crap we spend money on for our babies: wipe warmers (just stop), bathtub thermometers (here’s a thought, use your wrist), expensive onesies (timed perfectly with the day’s blowout). A baby spa isn’t the craziest way to spend money on your baby. Plus, have we mentioned how freaking cute the pictures are? If not, here are a few more to get you through your Monday.

Dia de spa! E massagem 💆 💕🌸😃👌

A post shared by Maria Antonia Thompson (@cristinapolagmailcom) on

Never in our adult lives have we wanted to be babies more.

H/T Refinery 29

Julie has a Master's degree in Psychology which has proved useless in trying to understand her teenaged daughter. She has the attention span of a gnat, zero sense of direction, and loses at least three things every day. Except for a minor situation at a county fair, her children are not on the short list of items she’s lost. She is extremely proud of this. You can find her writing on Facebook and Twitter. She has been published on Washington Post, McSweeney's, Scary Mommy, Huffington Post, and Babble (among others).