The Funny Parents Of Twitter On Why Back-To-School Time Is The Best Time – Scary Mommy

  |  

The Funny Parents Of Twitter On Why Back-To-School Time Is The Best Time

Parents, we made it. Summer is finally over and it’s time to send the kids back to school. We imagine our faces now look like teacher’s faces in the last weeks of the school year — we’ve seen some things we wish we could unsee. It’s been a long few months.

So it’s understandable that the bus driver is basically our hero. Or that we get misty-eyed seeing that beautiful car line at drop-off. We survived another summer and now it’s time for school again. And of course, the funny parents of Twitter completely understand the joy this special time of year brings and are tweeting about it with the reckless abandon of a person suddenly free for the first time in three months.

1. They will once they’re parents too.

Oh, you mad? Too bad.

2. Go Pinterest-official or go home.

These are the times we’re living in, parents. Commemorate with a twee chalkboard covered in intricate designs or GTFO.

3. Bye kids!

Is it wrong to roll out a literal red carpet for the bus driver on the first day of school? Because if it is, I don’t want to be right.

4. So. Many. Reps.

Sometimes, they don’t want to go as much as you want them to go.

5. Exactly where it belongs.

This will sound cruel to any first-timers but if you’ve been around the block once or twice, you’ll know that the initial “send us money” paperwork is only the beginning. You will be asked to donate money at least 47 more times this school year. Gird your loins.

6. Avert your eyes, kids.

I am a living, breathing, tire fire at the bus stop most mornings so yes, I’ll hop on this selective amnesia bandwagon very enthusiastically.

7. Whoopsie.

You mean….you haven’t had a special dry-erase calendar you’ve maintained all summer gleefully counting the days until school starts again? Huh. Alright, then. Maybe we can’t be friends.

8. Not a bad start.

After a summer of feral children staying up until all hours, it’s a god damn miracle if they make it to the first day of school by lunchtime. Two hours late is the new on-time.

9. #Goals

Please, school. It’s been five years. We’ve given all we can give. It’s your turn now.

10. A rookie move.

My kids put away an entire club-pack of mini-muffins I had set aside for school lunches in a matter of half a day. The designation means literally nothing to them. You need to buy a special snack safe. There’s no other way.

11. It must be commemorated.

Reunited and it feels so good.

12. Because, of course.

Practicing for a career in farming all summer, sleeping like half-drunk college kids the week before school starts. And so it goes.

13. We are beyond ready.

It’s been a long summer. Good luck, teachers!

Valerie Williams is a working mother with two school-aged children living in New York (not the cool part). She loves running, reading, snarking, and spending time with her family. Follow her on Twitter.