Things are trudging forward and it looks like we may actually be heading toward an April move. {Fingers crossed. And toes.} There are many factors that led us to want a change, but probably most of all is the fact that we just don’t belong in our neighborhood. After much thought, I’ve come to the conclusion that it boils down to one thing: We simply aren’t nice enough.
As you probably know, we just received a mind boggling 35 inches of snow and are expecting another foot tonight. Now, Jeff and I are not fans of snow. While I do find it beautiful, the annoying aspects of it far outweigh the aesthetic value. Jeff believes it’s a personal attack him. I do suck it up and take the kids out to play, but I far prefer frolicking on the beach. Jeff would rather just stay inside and grumble about it.
There are a couple of guys who we’ve begun paying twenty bucks each to shovel our walkway. Jeff deals with the cars when he feels like it, but with their help, doesn’t feel compelled to get out there the moment the snow stops falling. It works for us, and everyone is happy. Or, we were, until our neighbors decided to involve themselves in our snow removal.
Sunday, I looked outside to find our 13 year old neighbor and her friend earnestly shoveling our driveway. While most people may get a warm and fuzzy feeling at that sight, I felt annoyance. Who asked her to come over? I told her I appreciated her help and handed over a ten. She refused to take the money. “Just being neighborly,” she replied cheerfully when I insisted.
Neighborly? Borrowing an egg is neighborly. Using the phone when yours is dead is neighborly. Perhaps shoveling out an elderly, handicapped person is neighborly. But us? We were all set, thank you very much. Her own driveway remained covered with almost 3 feet of snow. Was she expecting us to shovel her’s out? To cook her dinner? To drive her somewhere? What was her motive? What did we owe her? People aren’t that nice… or, are they? Just thinking about it made my head hurt.
I think I’ll fit in much better in the city, where people crack your windshield if you park in their shoveled out spot. That behavior? I get.
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{ 72 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh, but see, that is TOTALLY the kind of thing I did as a kid!! (and I probably wouldn’t do it now…) It made me feel good to do something like that for someone. I’d say just enjoy being the recipient of a Random Act of Kindness!
Julie´s last blog ..Say Cheese!
Yeah, I’m not that neighbourly, either. Often times our neighbour mowes our grass in the summer. We say thank you, but that’s it. And we don’t usually re-pay the favour. OMG I AM EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why did I just admit this?
Loukia´s last blog ..Memories from Greece
Because I did first. :)
–>When I lived in the DC area, I used to shovel snow at our house, the sidewalks and venture over to do my neighbors. We didn’t get it very often so it was kind of “fun.” Now, not so much. It hurts my back.
WebSavvyMom´s last blog ..Flashback Friday (part 9) – Snowboarding Crash of the Year (again)
Had I known you were this horrid, I would have bumped JF off in elementary school so I could have been your BFF later in life.
Fuck neighborly. Pff. My neighbor has a truck with a plow and waves when he drives by and sees me struggling with the snowblower. Neighborly indeed.
Danielle´s last blog ..Scahhhhhhhd foh life!
You are too funny. Yesterday, when I looked out my window and saw my neighbors shoveling around my car, I was consumed with guilt and went out to spend an hour shoveling with them.
Lolli´s last blog ..Bloggography Challenge – Shutter Speed
You are such a better person than I am.
Ha, my neighbors would just dump their snow onto my driveway or in front of my car :op
Oh, and don’t shovel out your car and then think if you leave that no one will take the cleared spot (unless you block it with a lawn chair)! It’s a dog eat dog world around my house when the snow falls. My hubby spent HOURS digging out our car and then some jack ass tried to pull into our spot!! Uh, sorry no way. Go dig out your own place.
Snow is evil
Carrie´s last blog ..Kid Swap Meet time!
When Jeff and I lived in DC a million years ago, we made that mistake. Took another car’s shoveled out spot not knowing it was wrong. They left a nasty note and smashed our window. We called the cops who were pretty much like, yup, that’s what you deserved. Lesson learned!
People do that around here, although it’s usually the ones that have snowblowers that are out helping everyone else. I think the standard “thanks” is to bring over some sort of baked goods – cookies or brownies or something. I still feel awkward when people do it, but I figure that I didn’t ask, and if they aren’t happy with brownies as thanks they won’t do it again and then the problem will be solved.
Becky´s last blog ..Guessing game continued
I detest snow, and I will never shovel anyone else’s driveway, much less my own. Of course that is because it doesn’t snow here.
On the other hand, I felt wierd when my neighbor brought my trashcan up from the road while my hubby was out of town for business once.
MamaOtwins+1´s last blog ..The Tale of a Survivor – Seven Hearts Series
Hmmmmm, that is a touchy one. I think my head would hurt too!!!
We moved into our new house 3 weeks ago and on Saturday after the snow stopped our neighbor came by and started clearing our drive way. Yikes….what does he want? Do I have to bake him cookies? Does this mean we have to be friends? All thoughts that raced through my mind. Nice to know I’m not the only one!!!
I’m smelling ulterior motive all over that. Maybe she’s already done something to you and you don’t know it and she’s feeling guilty. Like, hmm…, maybe she took your Sunday paper, or took a great magazine out of your mailbox and didn’t want to give it back. Hmm?
Lori´s last blog ..What We Did
Send that little girl to my neighborhood, ’cause we’re expecting another 2 feet and I could use the help!
Lynn from For Love or Funny´s last blog ..I can handle 21 inches
Sigh, us too. It’s enough already!
aren’t 13 years old children supposed to be full of attitude and not pleasantries?
I’m a bit gobsmacked here as to WHY she did it? We can’t even get our 21 year old neighbor boy to help his own mother out!!
Tiaras & Tantrums´s last blog ..Amelia DVD Giveaway
Oh, this one is perfect. A little too perfect.
My neighbor did that several times last year–dug us out with his snowblower. I was grateful because, well, I was pregnant until late January and then dealing with a newborn. My husband is not in the best physical shape, so during last year’s colossal dumpings, I was seriously concerned that he was going to have a heart attack, leaving me widowed with a newborn.
Anyway. We’ve never dug our neighbor out. But I did make them brownies and I try to send stuff over from time to time. But yes, they are WAY nicer than I will ever be.
Lustau´s last blog ..Let me dust things off a bit here…
that little girl either had a motive or her girl scout leader was around the corner spying on her! we moved to Texas in 2008 from MD/PA and miss the snow terribly. Of course we moved into our house 2 weeks before Hurricane Ike hit us head on. oh joy. my brother is using his companies Bobcat and charging $50 a driveway in my parents neighborhood. should be another good week for him.
Lol, I understand the feeling but I also have shoveled other’s walks for them. I’m neurotic in every sense, from worrying about why someone is being nice to me & then if I’m being nice enough to others.
beth aka confusedhomemaker´s last blog ..Help a Brother Out
Too funny!! I hate when neighbors are too neighborly! I’m with Jeff love the snow but enough is enough already!
Honey, I grew up in North Dakota and that’s what people do when the shitstorm from Hell comes down. Now send those kiddos over to my place, because it’s snowing. :)
TheKitchenWitch´s last blog ..White Trash Motherlode: Crabmeat Appetizers
I don’t go out of my way to be mean to my neighbor’s. However I won’t be mowing your lawn for free either.
Maybe it was just kids being nice? My son this winter has shoveled a pathway between both our neighbors yards for the mail man to walk.
Seems strange but he likes to shovel snow.
Let us know when you sniff out her true motives! But I laughed out loud at your comment re: moving to the city where people crack your windshield when you park in their spot – or key your car (as has happened to us).
Jane´s last blog ..So Hard On Ourselves, Why Are We So Hard On Each Other?
Oh man, I totally feel for you! We have the same “problem” with neighbor kids, wanting to dig us out without even asking if they can shovel our walk. And I never have cash on me (debit cards have killed that) so it is painfully embarrassing, telling kids you don’t have any money.
My husband would absolutely love to move down South or someplace warm. I would too, except that even more than winter, I abhor summer. Even in Pennsylvania, it gets too hot.
Hope you make it through the next dumping tonight. We’re slated for a foot-18 inches.
And YAY! I’m so thrilled that I won the Wilton set! I’ve been wanting to do some more baking since we’re stuck inside for what seems like an eternity. Thank you so much Jill!
i’m totally the same way. living in apartments for so long as a single gal or single mom has made me wary of neighbors anyhow. and i think my grandmother had some theory about being overly neighborly with the neighbors which my father has happily taught me. though he does go do his part to keep the fire hydrant clear — figures it’s the one the fire department (mmm, sexy firemen) would use to put our house out too. so yep. go ahead, be “neighborly” and growl. i do.
p.s. thank you for the the gift certificate! i’m excited to use it. :D
zeghsy´s last blog ..problems? no, not really
My neighbor was trying to be “helpful” (play with his new toy) and plow everyone’s driveway with his truck. Well, he hit our brick mailbox and it now looks like the leaning tower of pisa. Some kind of help you just don’t need.
You’re funny. I’m a bad neighbour, too, but I’ve now been shamed into de-snowing the neighbour’s pavement. Luckily there’s only about five metres of it… (But I’m moving, too, as soon as I can.)
Mwa´s last blog ..Your daycare sucks: a new movie by a desperate mother
I’m with you. I lived in an apartment in mid-town Manhattan for two years and never met one of my neighbors. It was great.
Anne´s last blog ..Little Miss Perfect
That’s my dream! Best of all, if you need an egg or something, you can get it delivered in Manhattan. That’s where I belong.
The best part was that when it was cold and snowy I could lock myself in my warm apartment all weekend. I had my laundry picked up and dropped off and all of my groceries delivered. Plus, no shoveling or driving in snow/ice. Ahhh… that was the life…
Anne´s last blog ..Little Miss Perfect
I think it’s a sweet gesture mainly because it was a kid but like you, I always wonder what they are expecting in return. Our crazy lady neighbor back in Phoenix used to trim the grass around our driveway ALL the time. It drove us crazy because we just weren’t sure why she cared. It was just like 1/2 an inch higher than the rest of the grass!
Adventuroo´s last blog ..Showered with Gifts, Not Snow
I need a sign like this in my own life, dammit! We DO NOT belong in my neighborhood. NOT AT ALL. And I know we have to move, and we will move, but god FUCKING help us, we haven’t even settled in yet! Sheesh!
And I freaking LOVE it that you were so pissed about someone else shoveling your driveway. It’s pretty funny, really!
Sarah´s last blog ..This is my life: Kitchen Help = Anemic Carrot
haha, maybe thats why we live in a place with no snow and its too hot to go outside your house to venture into “neighborly” mode. Unless you need something, of course.
Hockeymandad´s last blog ..Valentine’s Day Meh
For our first snow in the ‘burbs, our neighbor used his snow blower to clear the sidewalks on our entire street… but only for the first snow ’cause I think he thought we all weren’t prepared! =)
I really don’t understand why your neighbors would shovel you out – especially if they’ve seen that you normally have other help. And to shovel you out before they attempted their own driveway? It just doesn’t make sense! Are they just mad at you for hiring “outsiders?”
I don’t know!! So weird, right?!
We’d get along great as neighbors. I like to stand at my kitchen window and watch the doofus who lives across the street do stupid things.
And good luck with the move!
Shannon´s last blog ..Table Topics Tuesday: I call do-over!
Ummmm. I’m afraid we’re just like you. Our neighbors on both sides are ALWAYS doing nice little things for us, like bringing in our many garbage cans, or actually hosing out our many garbage cans. They pick up our paper, and the endless trash littered along the street (we’re in LA). And we…do nothing. It’s horrible. I try to make up for it by buying them liquor at Christmas.
Gretchen´s last blog ..RTT: Hollywood Week, Honkers and "Go Sit in the Port-o-Let"
are you guys moving into the city of DC or metro DC?
dawn´s last blog ..cheesecake brownies
Jill, Jill, Jill. Jaded Jill. :) Maybe she just wanted to be nice. Or perhaps she heard you gave out $100′s. :) So this new house is in a much more urban setting?
angie´s last blog ..BOOK EXCHANGE
LMAO! With all the snow the radio stations have been inundated with people whining about people charging too much, not offering to snow for free, not getting help, but I gotta say that I haven’t heard anybody complain about being shoveled for free. You are too funny! I would be weary of them coming and asking for something though. Is that cynical of me?? Did I even spell cynical right? Hmmm.
Mel @ A Box of Chocolates´s last blog ..A Before and After Look at Snowmen
I am so lucky to live in a neighborhood where everyone is antisocial and none of us ever do anything for anyone else. I love it!
Cybil´s last blog ..We survived the Snowpocalypse!
I have a snowblower. I do my neighbor’s driveways if I’m out there first. I don’t expect anything from them. I just do it because I want to.
lceel´s last blog ..A little more Meander
That’s good to know. And you are such a sweetheart, Lou. :)
Two weeks ago my husband set the neighbor’s yard on fire. Yeah.
Our neighbors are so nice she told us not to even worry about it. All of ours are pretty awesome, but I’m pretty sure none of them would have shoveled out our driveway like that. Not unless we were crippled or elderly or whatever.
Jennifer´s last blog ..Random (great title huh?)
Yeah I think that would weird me out a lil too tbh! >_<
Marylin´s last blog ..Wondering what to do…
My husband likes to do the neighbors driveway too.
My son’s school is already closed for tomorrow because we’re getting more snow here too, so my husband took off tomorrow to go sledding with my son and spend some father son time together.
Stephanie @ Geezees´s last blog ..Unique gifts for the person or couple who has got it all …
I can understand this. My husband is that guy that everyone calls “the mayor” – so I’ve had to learn to be more friendly. Otherwise everyone would think I was a complete bitch in comparison. The day after we moved into our house (I was three weeks away to giving birth to the twins), he invited all of the neighbors over for a barbecue. I was like, “I’m sorry – but exactly where do YOU live?” If it wasn’t for Chris and my kids I probably wouldn’t ever talk to anyone. I’d make a fantastic hermit.
In my city that’s just being weird. I’m sorry I agree with you.
I don’t think I’d ever be that neighborly.sigh!
I could never live in the suburbs.
I don’t think I’m a very neighborly. I mind my own business and I really don’t like seeing my neighbors.
I do accept their packages though. I would hated if one of them didn’t accept mine!
Hope you survive this second storm!
Sophia’s Mom´s last blog ..Featured Mompreneur – Amy Sapirstein, creator of Mommy Mitten: A MUST for the Urban Mom
We help out our neighbors and they help us. But only if we have a friendly relationship with them first.
I share a driveway with 6 other people and the last time it snowed we shoveled it. So I guess we’re the nice ones. But it had been a week and we needed to get out! No one else gave a shit I guess.
Aimee´s last blog ..the psychological relationship to food
another thought i had is that sometimes people are compulsive about things and it doesn’t come from so much of a nice place as a neat place. this happens to me sometimes. i find myself straightening the shelves at the grocery store. i just need to it be neat.
Aimee´s last blog ..the psychological relationship to food
This post just proves that you are so my people. Besides, I like to think as paying others to this type of work as “community service.”
Try it sometime! It will totally make you feel better too.
Mayhem and Moxie´s last blog ..Signs that You Might Be an Angry Pregnant Lady
While I live in the suburbs, my neighborhood is one of those where you’re lucky if you know the names of the people living next to you. Yep, no neighborly shoveling here…which is good, because I wouldn’t know what to do about it.
amber´s last blog ..Top Ten Reasons Winter Blows.
I love that we are trying to decipher the mind of a 13 year old. I bet she was bored. haha I would love her to come to my house though! I think if it was an adult, I may wonder more, but not for a kid.
Tracy´s last blog ..Customized Fabric Photo Bookmark – Use your own photo – Book of Love – FREE SHIPPING USA – Valentine’s Day
Oh my gosh. I love her : ). Can you please ship her to Philly!
I like nice neighbors. The old people next door hate us. And when I say hate, I mean HATE with a capital H.A.T.E. I used to think it was because we are loud (ie the wrestling matches) but now I think it might be because there are black and white people living in our house. I think she doesn’t like Gary. Which is silly because he is the sort of person who would shovel out her driveway in a storm. Oh well!
She makes me want to say What the DUCK!
Life with Kaishon´s last blog ..Snow, Snow- When Will You Go?
I hate to tell you: in the city people are neighborly too.
FeastAfterFamine´s last blog ..Snowed In With Kids: The Ugly Truth
I hate to tell you: in the city, most people are neighborly too. Our neighbors frequently shovel our sidewalk. And we shovel theirs.
FeastAfterFamine´s last blog ..Snowed In With Kids: The Ugly Truth
I’m thinking that your neighbor is either making up for something she did, or she’s trying to ‘pad her account’ for later. Well, maybe she could just be trying to be nice. NAH! ROFL
uthostage´s last blog ..Nicknames from Hell
What a sneaky, evil little girl. Bet she stole your silver when you had your back turned. Don’t trust nice people, they expect niceness back, then it becomes a vicious cycle.
ohn´s last blog ..Are there statistics?
I’ve learned that most (I said most) teens do have an angle when they express random acts of kindness. Occasionally, however, there is that exception that blows your mind. Like this morning, my 17-year-old shoveled our drive. “Is dad paying you?” I asked.
“Nope,” she replied.
Hmmmmm…..makes me wonder.
Maybe the neighbor girl is a Mormon. They have things they have to do, or are expected to do in regards to others in their community.
Then again, who knows. She just may be nice, or up to something.
I wouldn’t feel comfortable either with someone just doing it, without first coming up to my door and asking if I needed their services and whether and how much they wanted paid for those services.
Now THAT’s what I remember from my good ol’ Yonkers days. No one was nice like that. We would shovel out our cars and then the goombah snow plower guy would “pull us right back in again.”
Live.Love.Eat´s last blog ..Pancetta Wrapped Pork Roast
HAHAH I used to live in a city like the one you’re yearning for :P People would put lawn chairs in their shoveled out spots (or they would claim the one you dug out but failed to “mark”). I really wanted to get stabby with their tires, but refrained.
I hate my neighbors. They actually confronted me in the grocery store. I was talking to another parent from Caden’s preschool. Neighbor wife walked up to me and starting bitching about my parking dogs. It was 9pm, and I was in the middle of a conversation. I was pissed…
HATE them!!
Although, it would scare me if I had nice neighbors. I think you need to be my neighbor. We would totally rule the block!
Julie @ Angry Julie Monday´s last blog ..Nashville’s Newest Stars
See I am one of those super nice neighbors that talk to everyone and such. Mind you I would NEVER shovel..lol but I would find it endearing if a neighborhood kid shoveled. I was just talking about this to my friend hwo is pregnant and her husband had a broken foot..both of them couldn’t shovel..and we were saying neighborhood kids don’t shovel for $$ anymore..they don’t do it at all! I’d say you are blessed ;)
Jen @ After The Alter´s last blog ..Being A Voodoo Doll
Yeah! The meaning of being a good neighbor sure changes based on where you are living or where you are from. I mean, no one can argue that being a neighbor in new york is really different from being a good one in the south!
Kelly´s last blog ..How to Make a Photography Portfolio
Hysterical Jill! I’m with you – don’t do me any favors and I won’t have to reciprocate. hehehe!
christy´s last blog ..Would you like to be our guest?
Being neighborly is HARD! I’m not used to making chit chat and having cookie baking contests. It’s just weird to me. I’m used to calling the cops on my neighbors. Not calling them over.
Jessica – This Is Worthwhile´s last blog ..I didn’t buy a Corvette, but I did get a tattoo
Oh she’s up to something alright! I bet her nicey-nice mother sent her over to scope out your reaction.
Liz´s last blog ..Serenade Me
I totally get that…I try to not even make eye contact with these people! : )