Comments on: Being a Step-Mom

By: Sarah Plain & Tall

Sarah Plain & Tall — Thu, 03 Feb 2011 04:52:38 +0000

I like your experience and can relate, however I can’t help but still be nervous. I am 21, five months along, and my boyfriend has 3 kids, at 3, 5, and 7. They all say they are excited for the new baby, but I am so worried for many of the same reasons you are. However it seems a lot of the time I don’t have the support of my boyfriend. He seems to dwell on the past too much and what he could of and should have done, which make him difficult to talk to. I have always focused on dealing with what is now and here to come. Being prepared. We haven’t done anything but talk about preparing, is that normal? I am also afraid his lack of copperating is putting me into a depressive mind set. It makes me afraid for the baby… … and me…

By: Rachael

Rachael — Thu, 21 Oct 2010 04:22:27 +0000

I have a stepmom and a stepdad and I also have an adopted sister. I think the fact that you’re worrying about all of this just shows how much you love your stepkids. I know for a fact that it’s possible to love a “step” just as much as a “biological” child, or an adopted sister as much as a biological one. I think that you’ll be fine, your family will be great. Congratulations on the new baby!

By: Minnesota Mamaleh

Minnesota Mamaleh — Tue, 19 Oct 2010 20:18:49 +0000

what a moving piece. i love that you embrace the vulnerability that exudes through your writing. it sounds like the whole lot of you are lucky to have each other! especially that sweet new baby whose coming into so very much love!

By: amy

amy — Tue, 19 Oct 2010 19:44:11 +0000

Enjoy it and Mazel Tov to you and your blended family.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Tue, 19 Oct 2010 19:18:47 +0000

My stepdad never treated me any differently after my younger brothers were born. At times it was even better than before, because he played more of a father role. My dad and stepmom didn’t have kids together, but she brought a son into their marriage. And while I know they are closer than I am with her, I still know she loves me just the same.

By: Lauralee Hensley

Lauralee Hensley — Tue, 19 Oct 2010 18:30:08 +0000

Treat them all the same and everything should be fine.

By: Summer

Summer — Tue, 19 Oct 2010 18:28:18 +0000

Although not a stepmom myself, I did grow up with a stepdad. People swear they have no idea he is not my real dad. Stepparents add so much more love to a child’s life. I wish Vicki the best of luck in her new found mommy-hoods, and a speedy easy delivery!

By: Just Margaret

Just Margaret — Tue, 19 Oct 2010 17:02:47 +0000

As a fellow stepmother, who also had her first child after she married her hub I can only tell you this:

Day to day life will change, with the addition of a baby to the household, but your love for your stepkids won’t change. You won’t change…you’ll still be the you that you are. Adding “bio-mom” to the list of roles in your life simply adds a new dimension to who you are, one that doesn’t take away from the any other dimension of your personality…and a nice bonus is that as your baby grows up, you’ll have a little BTDT experience under your belt courtesy of the older two. ;-)

You may love your new baby differently than your stepkids, but it isn’t a more/less situation…Just different.

And, I have to say, your stepkids are so fortunate to have such a caring woman as their stepmom. It is *not* an easy road all the time. ((hugs))

By: Artemis Clover: The real L.A. love story.

Artemis Clover: The real L.A. love story. — Tue, 19 Oct 2010 16:34:48 +0000

first off congrats!! i shot a wedding for a lovely lady and her husband who went into the marriage with 3 kids already and seeing the oldest girl at 10 struggle at the wedding brought tears to my eyes. she loved her new step mom but was also visibly upset that her dad was remarrying. i can only imagine what it’s like for the children but i never thought about the anxiety the step mom would have as well. thank you for sharing your story and i am looking forward to following your pregnancy on your blog. as a new mom, i am still kinda obsessed with that phase.

By: christy

christy — Tue, 19 Oct 2010 16:10:26 +0000

Well I don’t know you at all, yet it’s clear as a bell that you have MUCH love to give! I believe that love multiplies when you have children – and you’ll be amazed at much more you love EACH of your children when the next one comes along. I’m sure you will have an adjustment period, but it’ll be the best thing you could do for your family – for all of you! And of course, congrats on your pregnancy!!!