Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy
@scarymommy
Latest posts by Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy (see all)
- The Disney Reveal - May 14, 2013
- Met My Match At Disney… - May 13, 2013
- Sunday’s Baltimore Sun - May 11, 2013
I would proudly wear a black eye received under the following circumstances:
1. Being elbowed in the face while fighting for the perfect wedding dress at the Filene’s Basement famous bridal dress sale.
2. Defending my children from any sort of harm.
3. Fighting for the last morsel of chocolate while being stuck on a deserted island.
4. Bolting down an airplane aisle when one seat in first class is offered on an international flight.
5. Tearing a drunk, slutty, half dressed woman off of my husband.
6. Being punched in the face for not being afraid to voice an unpopular opinion.
7. Landing face down on a rock while sky diving off a mountain top.
8. Wrestling a child from the grip of a vicious lion, escaped from the local zoo.
9. Having a leprecon throw a pot of gold to me and getting accidentally pelted by a big chunk.
10. Being kicked in the face while holding back the leg of a laboring woman in an elevator.
However, opening a car door on my face while headed to my birthday lunch doesn’t quite make the list.
{But I did get showered with slobbery kisses, take a nap, have the sweetest post written for me and eat delicious cake. All in all, not a bad day. And thank you all for your sweet comments and tweets. They made me feel all warm and mushy despite the ice pack plastered to my face.}
{ 51 comments… read them below or add one }
That is one rockn’ black eye. Happy Birthday to ya.
.-= DCUrbanDad´s last blog ..BFFs 4 Ever =-.
Ouch! Girlfriend…. ouch. I thought things like that only happen to me, lol. Happy Birthday.
.-= OHmommy´s last blog ..America has taught him well. =-.
oh you poor thing! but I am glad that you were able to make the best of your day.
.-= Jen, buried with children´s last blog ..Going To Get Some Ink =-.
YOU STILL LOOK GORGEOUS! I have luck as such too!! Love your list of what you would “proudly” show off. YOU GO GIRL!
.-= Crystal´s last blog ..Gage Update =-.
OH! Ooops! HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
.-= Crystal´s last blog ..Gage Update =-.
Ouch! Despite that it sounded like a nice day though. Happy Birthday!
.-= Lady Mama´s last blog ..Cor Blimey Gov’ner =-.
I’m pretty sure this means all the guys think you are even hotter now.
Or they won’t mess with you b/c they are afraid of you.
Either one is pretty good, right?
Happy Birthday!!
.-= McMommy´s last blog ..Friends Don’t Let Friends Believe In Fairy Tale Labor & Deliveries =-.
I would pick any of the ten you listed and say that when someone asks!
Glad your day still turned out good.
I was in a horse accident and suffered two black eyes as well as a few other injuries. When I showed up at the hospital the first thing they asked me was if my husband did this to me. I was actually quite offended and said, “No, a horse, can I have a wheelchair?” I guess they have to ask but couldn’t they at least make me comfortable first? I did have the shiners for a couple weeks and I did merit some good looks from people. No one messed with me for a while.
I bet no one will mess with you for a while either! So sad you had to go through that. Be well and milk all the TLC as long as possible!
.-= T Rex Mom´s last blog ..Laundry Day… =-.
ooh been there. sort of. slammed my own finger in the door. just be glad your injury doesn’t impede your ability to type or eat. and be glad it’s summer so you can wear cool shades.
happy birthday!
.-= Aimee´s last blog ..Kristen’s raw chocolate recipes =-.
That totall ysucks. Although it makes you look like a bad ass.
.-= The Marketing Mama´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday =-.
Happy Birthday!
And I’m sorry about the black eye. But I am rather impressed at the list you came up with. I think you should just claim you got it one of those ways. Really, no one will be the wiser. ;)
.-= Amber´s last blog ..Canada Day Cake =-.
OK, this is funny. Can I say that? Sorry for your pain, though, sweet girl!
.-= Starnes Fam´s last blog ..Road Trip =-.
Oooohhh, slap a steak on that sucker! Happy Birthday! I think you should make up a different exciting story for each person who asks you what happened.
(STILL with the Zucchini Bread Recipe, lol, you’re going to think I never update. Come on over to see new Oscar pics at Wordless Wednesday)
.-= Sandy´s last blog ..Zucchini Bread Recipe =-.
Just think though, this birthday is going to be OH. SO. MEmorable. I’m sorry that happened. It’s going to be a fun few weeks of people looking at you out of the corner of their eye wondering if
A. your husband beats you
or
B. You had plastic surgery.
:)
.-= angie´s last blog ..Wordful Wednesday-A WHOLE lot’a work goin’ on =-.
Oh no – you poor thing. You still look lovely though – just a little battered and sad. I think the kisses may have been worth it? Maybe not – but a definite consolation.
.-= Kate Coveny Hood´s last blog ..As Good as Cake Giveaway: And the Winner Is… =-.
I once got a blackeye when my then two year old rolled over and elbowed me in the middle of the night. Whoa! But it wasn’t my birthday. Drag man.
You do however look pretty tough. Tell everybody you got it playing hockey. Or while working out with your roller derby team.
Happy Birthday!
.-= Gretchen´s last blog ..Camp Mama Week Three: Summer Games =-.
Ouch! I hope you have a cool story to tell strangers when they ask what happened!
OUCH! If anyone asks just tell them you rescued a child from a lion :)
May I say that you look gorgeous, despite the black eye?
.-= Lynn from For Love or Funny´s last blog ..I wanna live forever =-.
Ouch!!! That sucks that you gave yourself a black eye for your b-day. You should have considered a massage, etc! Hope it was still a good b-day!
Seriously – we were all wishing you a happy birthday and oogling over your great hubby….and you needed MORE attention?
…can we see the other guy? :)
.-= Futureblackmail´s last blog ..PEP-RALLY =-.
Wow…
My newly adopted dog pulled me down a small flight of stairs…
but thankfully I landed on the other end… “but” lot’s of bruises!
You still look gorgeous!
Glad you had a beautiful day, otherwise!
WTF? Seriously? One of the first real pictures I see of you and you have a black eye?
Hmmm….I am going to have to give our friendship some serious consideration going forward. I only have beautiful people in my life.
:)
-Francesca
.-= Three Bay B Chicks´s last blog ..Chick Chat =-.
Or fight for my turn to get on the computer in order to read the latest Scary Mommy blog post :-)
On the bright side, things can only get better right? I mean, you won’t have to worry about anyone cutting in front of you in line or arguing over the cost of potatos at the store since they don’t know how you got that shiner. Happy (late) Birtday.
.-= Carrie Anne´s last blog ..Write a Review Wednesday: OK GO =-.
Oh, no! Poor you… and on your birthday, no less! Well, you still look hot! ;)
.-= Loukia´s last blog ..Summer fun! =-.
love love love that list not your black eye though :( happy bday!
.-= vanessa´s last blog ..Caramel Toffee Trifle =-.
Oh you poor thing! I hope it heals soon and the pain is already gone! Enjoy the rest of your vacation!!
.-= christy´s last blog ..Three things…. =-.
I think it makes you look badass! In fact, let me go out and give myself one right now.
.-= Elisa´s last blog ..Shut it and listen =-.
My embarrassing black eye just healed or I would post a counter photo. I was riding the new fancy super fast bike my boyfriend built me and I couldn’t stop fast enough and I hit my face off of the rear view mirror of my neighbor’s minivan. Yeah. I’m that cool.
.-= erin´s last blog ..I Will Saturate You and You Will Love It! =-.
Ouchie! Glad you had a good day though!
.-= Trenches of Mommyhood´s last blog ..Weather Woes =-.
Thanks, guys. It actually looks a bit better today. The annoying thing is seeing it out of my eye.
I am such a fucking moron!!!
.-= Scary Mommy´s last blog ..Black Eyed Birthday =-.
Ouch that looks like it hurts! But I like your list of reasons if that makes you feel any better :)
.-= Roxane´s last blog ..Honest to Vlog! =-.
Oh nooooooo! Well the good news is that you are rockin’ that tough girl look! If you have anything to return without a receipt, I go do it now while people will be afraid to mess with you!
Happy Birthday!
.-= Jenni Jiggety´s last blog ..Open Letter: Dearest Toilet Bowl… =-.
fighting an ape is the only way I’d like to get a black eye.
.-= DrZibbs´s last blog ..Six Million Dollar Man Bionic Grip And Ass Kicking. =-.
Sheesh, when I asked for a picture of Jill I had no idea you had a GIGANTIC black eye. LOL That is really, really a sucky birthday gift to yourself.
Sorry. I hope it didn’t hurt too bad.
.-= Jennifer´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday: What is he doing with that fish? =-.
Sorry your car door hates you. Glad to hear you had a great birthday though!
Ouch!!!!
I hope that heals soon!
.-= Schmoochiepoo´s last blog ..Family Time =-.
Holy crap, that looks painful! But that’s totally something I would do. I’m going to save your list in case something like this ever happens to me, and then I’ll be able to concoct a much better story. I’m glad you were still able to have a great birthday though—happy belated!
.-= Laura´s last blog ..cortisol is not your friend =-.
Wow, what a shiner! Hope it doesn’t hurt too much.
On the bright side, you can finally say you have something in common with Spuds McKenzie.
.-= SeattleDad´s last blog ..Need I Say More? =-.
I missed your birthday?! OH NOES!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
That black eye totally adds to the scary mommy vibe. :0)
xoxo
.-= AMomTwoBoys´s last blog ..Surgery Success =-.
Oh my gosh. I love your list. Love it. Love it. Love it. Happy Birthday! Hope your year is filled with wonderful things : ) and no bad jewelry!
.-= Life with Kaishon´s last blog ..What do I make? =-.
Wow – that’s a beauty! Happy birthday to you! My son leaned back in my arms while going down the hall and bumped his head on the door frame last night – so his first black eye is courtesy of mommy. Niiice.
.-= Halala Mama´s last blog ..Don’t Eat the Pudding =-.
That is completely something I would do.
.-= Missy´s last blog ..Free Giveaway~ Peanut Shell Pouch at bTrendie =-.
ACK!
First of all, sorry I missed your birthday!
Second… OUCH!
.-= Shannon´s last blog .."Trim the Fat" Thursday =-.
even with that black eye…you’re gorgeous!!!
happy belated birthday!
have a great holiday weekend!
.-= melissa´s last blog ..Frogs Are Friends, Not Food =-.
Happy very belated birthday. And bless your heart. At least you have a good story to remember your 25th birthday, right? And you still look beautiful. Damn you!!
.-= courtney´s last blog ..A busy weekend ahead…. =-.
So sad! My sister did that once! Ouch!
.-= Rachel Fix´s last blog ..Some News =-.
Oh no! You poor thing! Hope you had a wonderful birthday in spite of it!
.-= The Stiletto Mom´s last blog ..Hotel, Motel…Holiday Inn? =-.
ouch! that’s one way to remember your birthday!!! hope it heals soon
.-= scrappysue´s last blog ..it’s all about me =-.
Oh gosh, I am sorry I missed this and your bday. I see it was a slammin’ one. Too bad you got slammed in your eye though. That MUST have hurt. I have done that to my head and man I wanted to pass out. The upside is it was good to see a pic of you :)
HAPPY BDAY!!!
When my daughter was about a year and a half old she threw her hard little head into my face and blacked my eye. I went into preterm labor with my son a few days later and the nurses at the hospital were trying to make sure I wasn’t a battered woman! I think what convinced them that it was the truth was when Hubby brought her to visit and she almost did it again right in front of the staff!!! Her hard little head was the equivalent of getting hit smack dab in the eye with a bowling ball! It still hurts to think about it.
.-= Lori´s last blog ..Wordful Wednesday-Eros Bendato =-.