A clever dad found a hack to trick his baby into taking the bottle – by making it seem like it’s not a bottle at all
Everybody knows how hard it can be when Mommy has to go back to work shortly after giving birth, and it’s even harder when she’s breastfeeding. I have a four-month-old myself, and when my wife goes out for a girl’s night and I’m tasked with giving my son a bottle, it’s not always easy. He prefers the boob. Because don’t we all?
It can be pretty stressful, trying to feed the kid when he’s craving something only Mommy can provide. Breastmilk from a bottle is all well and good, but the milk isn’t the only thing he gets from the breastfeeding experience. Sometimes my kid literally just suckles my wife’s nipple. There’s a bond and a comfort that comes from the experience. And it’s not something men can provide, no matter how hard I try to milk myself.
Thankfully, while we may not have breasts, we do have brains.
In a video that’s making the rounds online, one father found a clever way to get around the whole “men don’t have breasts, or breast-milk” conundrum, by rigging up a bottle in order to fool what is obviously a pretty damn gullible baby.
According to The Huffington Post, Chris Allen’s fiancée Jennifer had to return to work after having their daughter Destiny, but had been exclusively nursing her up until that point. Now, Allen is doing some of the feedings and had to get creative so his baby would take the bottle. One day while his fiancee worked, Chris filmed a selfie video where he’s feeding their baby a bottle by way of a hole through his t-shirt. “Heh, I guess it’s like breastfeeding, right?” he asks.
Yeah, not really, but I’m not a goofy baby so I can tell the difference between a breast and a bottle that’s hiding behind a shirt. I mean, seriously, baby. Wake up. I know bottle technology has improved but you really can’t tell that’s not your mom’s nipple? Sheesh. I know babies are new to the world and all but can someone get me this kid’s email? I know a Nigerian prince who can use help transferring some money…
More power to this dad. I’d love to see him take this show on the road and whip out his chest-bottle rig at a restaurant, or somewhere else out in public. Maybe he’d get a taste of what many women have to deal with when someone witnesses the horror of public breastfeeding. Except he’s a man, so he’d not only get a pass, he’d get praised, and probably high-fived for doing what is essentially the bare minimum: feeding his child.
Meanwhile, any actual moms in the vicinity who dare expose a few inches of their obscene mammary glands will be shamed for providing their child with the sustenance necessary for survival, because people are terrible. (As you can see by some of the inexplicably upset people in the Facebook comments on this video.)
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go MacGyver up a way to fool my five-year-old into eating his mac and cheese.