2014-THANKSgiving

Call Me Dad

45 Comments

Two kids and a dog call me dad, most of the time. Ok, the dog doesn’t call me a damn thing, at least nothing that I can understand. He just barks, wags his tail and pushes his water bowl at me.

Now those two kids, well, they call me a bunch of things besides dad. Sometimes they call me abba (Hebrew for father) or daddy. Occasionally the dark haired beauty calls me da-da and then gives me a mischievous smile. After that I usually grab her and pull her into a bear hug and then tell her that she can’t use that smile on me.

She giggles and says that she doesn’t know what I am talking about and then I give that smile right back to her. It is the one that makes my friends and family crazy, that smile. When they see it they can’t help but wonder what I am up to. I love it- it fills that part of me that likes pretend that he is still a kid.

That smile makes you wonder where your wallet is. You can’t help but reach for your pants pocket or purse. And you just know that any moment the telephone is going to start ringing with some angry parent or authority figure on the other line.

I have to admit that it is much more fun to write about it as a description of me, Good Old Jack than to include my daughter in it. More fun because as a parent I can’t help but worry about these kids. And if you want to know what my biggest fear is, I’ll tell you right now- I am worried that they will be just like me.

That is right- I am sometimes terrified that they will be as dumb as I was. I worry that they’ll get bored in school because they aren’t being challenged and that they’ll develop bad study habits. I worry that they’ll figure out the angles for getting things done faster and take advantage of short cuts.

I worry that they’ll think that they are smart enough to talk their way out of anything and that they’ll jump off of the roof into the swimming pool. I worry that my daughter, who is already as tough as nails will insist on maintaining her stance that she can do anything her brother can.

Some of my concerns aren’t worth worrying about now- she is six so why do I even think about her dating. But I do. She loves boys and I know how boys think. I know how many ways they can come up with for making girls feel special and smart. I know that sometimes they don’t really mean the things that they say and I fear that my daughter will get hurt.

So I have instructed her older brother to prepare himself. I am going to send him away, to a Tibetan monastery where he will be instructed in many arts of defense. He is going to come back as a very peaceful boy, who just happens to know 1,983 ways to kill.

I can’t always be around to protect her- so I might as well take advantage of his services. Speaking of services I wonder if those monks are going to be able to help him learn his Torah portion. Granted he has a few years before his Bar Mitzvah is upon us, but one has to plan for all this.

So now I have the simple task of convincing his mother that there is this great boarding school that is going to provide him with an education that he can’t get here. And let me tell you, that will be one of the great sales jobs of all time.

Mom is no dummy, so I am not really sure how I am going to do it. I considered trying to convince her that he is going to Hogwarts but I can’t make my wand work that way. Um, maybe we better skip this part.

Or maybe we should talk about how I am going to convince his little sister that it is ok for him to leave for a while. That is going to be tough, because in her eyes there is no bigger hero than her big brother.

Truth is that if he eventually decides that girls aren’t stupid and icky he might date one or two. And should they break his heart, his little sister might try to break their arms. She once screamed at me for yelling at him to turn the volume down on that damn DS. I don’t know about you, but the beeps and whistles make me crazy.

Anyhoo, that girl walked over to me and started wiggling her little finger in my face. I had to work hard to look chastised- couldn’t tell her how very proud I was of her. Those kids might make me lose all my hair by taking on some of my crazier traits, but damn if they don’t do a fine job of looking out for each other.

Guess we’re doing something right in how we are raising them.

Comments

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    • 6

      says

      I’d have a few more but I am told that the shop is closed. Now, I am not nearly as relentless as my daughter is. She desperately wants to be a big sister so if anyone is capable of changing mom’s mind it is her.

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  1. 7

    Frazzeledmummy says

    Wow this brought a tear to my eye as I sat and imagined that all Dad’s must think like this at some point in their little girls lives. I was very lucky to have a Dad as loving and caring as you are and really feel for all the children out there who are not so fortunate. Thank you for sharing this little piece of your world with us x

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  2. 20

    Genevieve Le Bel says

    There’s a moment as a parents when you just know, you’re doing a good job… this, is one of those moments! Luv that J is present and standing at attention! His kids are totally blessed! Great post! =)
    Superchick =)

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  3. 22

    Eve@BeautifulSpitUp says

    This just brought tears to my eyes. I too am strong willed like my father and I’m so happy about that, but I’ll tell you that it did make for some dramatic fights when I was a teenager. Great post, Jack. I know my hubby feels exactly the same way, although we only have one boy right now. My husband is certain our next baby will be a girl and will be happy to have our son there to protect her.

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    • 23

      says

      Hi Eve,

      Strong willed is putting it lightly- I can see the future and we are going to have our moments. I suspect that my daughter is going to be like one of her aunts and feel that she can do anything the boys can do. I want to foster that in her, but at the same time it worries me a bit.

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  4. 26

    S Club Mama says

    The last part reminded me of the Family Circus from Sunday’s paper. Jeffy knocked over Dolly’s dollhouse & the mom yelled at him. He ran away crying and then Dolly told him shhh don’t cry baby, did mommy make you cry? :)

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  5. 30

    Aimee @ Ain't Yo Mama's Blog says

    I’m a fan of Jack’s blog and excited to see him featured here. I love this post and I’m sure most dad’s (especially those of young daughters) can relate well. As a mom, I can also relate all too well. The things we’ll do (or dream we will do) in order to protect our kids is something I’m sure most of us do often.

    Great guest post, Jill! Wait, Jack…Jill…Ha! Nevermind…

    -Aimee

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    • 33

      says

      I hate to sound like all the other parents- but it goes so fast. My baby is six, so she is still very young but I have trouble seeing the “baby” she used to be. Now I see this little girl and flashes of someone much older. Not ready for that.

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  6. 34

    Sandi Amorim says

    When my mom was upset with me she would say, “You look like me, but you’re just like you’re father!” Then dad and I would laugh and say, “What’s wrong with that?” We drove her batty!

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    • 35

      says

      Fortunately my kids got more of their mother’s temperament than mine. She is much more easy going than I am. Although they do show signs of the lightning and fire that runs through my belly.

      I am forever surprised and pleased by/with them.

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  7. 40

    Yuliya says

    What about cutting out the middleman and sending the girl child to the monastery instead? ;)

    Lovely to see a dad’s perspective, my little is seven months and just recently discovered that she has a daddy (before it was mommy 24/7) and it’s so sweet to watch them together!

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