Confessions of a Scary Mommy – Scary Mommy

Confessions of a Scary Mommy

Confessions of a Scary Mommy is Jill Smokler’s New York Times bestselling collection of original essays that take an irreverent look at the underbelly of parenting — things most moms would never admit, but feel every day.

Shameless

I’ve long acknowledged that having children was the end of any sense of modesty for me. Shitting on the delivery table? Yup, that was the end of that.

Writing a book, however, brought me to a whole new level.

I am now completely and utterly shameless.

Book Tour Failure

I’ve learned two things about myself over the past two days: 1. I’m a bit of a flake. And, 2. I’m never satisfied.

Well, OK, I suppose I knew those things all along, but they were completely solidified during this trip. Let me explain…

I was so focused on not flashing my Spanx on the Today Show and all of the other events during the day, that I completely neglected to promote that I had a reading at Barnes and Noble at 7PM. At all.

We arrived at 6:45 and the room was empty. Like, completely empty. Literally. When I peeked out at 6:55, there were exactly two people in the crowd. They were in their eighties, had no idea who I was and were obviously just looking for a quiet place to sit. Way to go, Jill!

Fortunately, a few other people trickled in and I wasn’t stuck solely talking to grandparents not belonging to me. Thank God. But, it made me realize that it might be helpful to remind you of where I’ll be appearing in the future. Otherwise, I might end up having to just tour retirement communities instead of bookstores.

Confessions of a Scary Mommy: Pre-Ordering Pays

Confession: I’ve never pre-ordered a book. Sadly, since I’ve had kids, I don’t read all that much and if I buy a book, it’s when I happen to be at a bookstore after at least five people have told me that I have to read that particular book. It then sits, unread, on my night table for months until I file it on a bookcase, never to pick it up again.

So, the fact that I am asking you to pre-order my book is rather unfair. I know. You could just as easily wait a month and deal with it then — what’s the point of ordering now? Well, funny you should ask! It’s how stores decide whether or not to carry it and it’s also how my publisher decides where to send me on my book tour (I’m hitting most of the East Coast, but would really like to get out west and to Texas. C’mon… I know you guys are reading!) Plus, it’s just ten bucks online and will be five dollars more in person and all pre-sales count towards the first week’s sales.

But, I know, it’s not all that convincing. Maybe this will help?

Squeeeee!!!

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confessions

You know how people write out WOOT!!! online, but you can never really imagine them saying it? Because they don’t, in real life, ever?

It’s the same with squeeeee!! What is squeeeeeing, exactly? And, who actually squeeeees? Nobody, right? Yet we see it on-line constantly.

Well, I’ll tell you a secret: I do. Squeeeee, that is, and I’ve been doing a lot of it lately. Like, in real life.

SQUEEEEE!!!!

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