You may not know it, but your blog could be detrimental to the health of your readers. Are they complaining of vision problems, dizziness or headaches? Depression or rapid heartbeat? Homicidal feelings? I’m afraid that your blog could be the cause. It’s vital that you read this scientific list of blog related illnesses and take some action, today.
Auto-music linked to headaches/shock/rage: Is having music on your blog really worth the risk of giving your readers a heart attack? For the weak of heart, it could be deadly to have music suddenly pump out of a silent computer. Unlikely? Maybe, but possible nonetheless. Auto-music has also been linked to headaches and feelings of uncontrollable rage.
Horrible grammar/spelling linked to anger and frustration: Reading a blog filled with spelling and grammatical errors is just plain infuriating. Proofread and proofread again and you will have happier, less frustrated readers.
Animated gifs/jam packed sidebars linked to dizziness: You know that feeling of stepping into an insanely loud and crazy club when all you want is to be laying on the beach? Let your blog be that beach. A nice and simple layout will make your readers feel relaxed and tranquil rather than dizzy and borderline homicidal.
Never ending paragraphs linked to exhaustion/boredom: Separate your thoughts into paragraphs to avoid putting your readers to sleep or boring them to tears. The return button is there for a reason… use it!
Small type/dark background linked to vision problems: Do you want your readers to need glasses because they read your blog? Do you want them suffering from crows feet and eye twitches? Use a font large enough to be read without squinting on a light, legible background and their eyes will thank you.
Word verification linked to depression: Let’s say your reader is having a bad day. She tries to comment on a post and can’t make out the nearly-impossible to read words. Or, she attempts the math problem and gets it wrong. It’s just too much for someone teetering on the edge. Get rid of word verification, boost your reader’s self esteem and maybe even save a life!
See? With a few easy steps, you can alleviate your reader’s symptoms and improve your blog. Better blog = Better health, it’s a win-win for everyone!
You’re welcome.
{For more totally obnoxious blog tips, see How Not to Comment and A guide to getting unfollowed on Twitter.}
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