From the category archives:

Love & Marriage

09 · 21 · 2011

My Bedroom

Sixteen years ago today, Jeff and I went on our first date. Last night, he posted a picture of us on Facebook, a few months later over Thanksgiving break. He wrote that it his hope for our kids is that they fall as deeply in love as the two of us did. It was very sweet and I couldn’t agree more.

But.

I feel like I need to address my bedroom, since it really just can’t be ignored.

I mean, have you ever seen anything quite like it?

I know.

1. Yes, those are fish floating around on my walls. But, not just any fish. Fish that I hand drew on plain white wallpaper and cut out and arranged one by one on the walls. Because you just couldn’t find a decent fish border, dammit.

2. After all, there might have been some confusion about exactly whose room this was.

3. Random teddy bear whom I had no attachment to.

4. Yes, those are mini liquor bottles lining every framed print I had in my room. No, I wasn’t an alchoholic.

5. Sombreros!

6. The Broadway musical, Anything Goes. Have I mentioned how cool I was in high school?

7. Rosie the Riveter. I am such a feminist!

8. That’s another sombrero, for a total of three. In case the Three Amigos stopped by.

9. Hot guy ripped out from a magazine. (Why did we stop doing that again?)

10. A mock magazine I created in high school. Oddly consistent with what I do now.

11. Teddy bear sheets. To contrast the liquor and hot guy.

12. Awwww, Jeff’s hair!

13. Jeff used to find it adorable that I would trip constantly. And, I did. Like, all the time. I realize now that it had nothing to do with clumsiness or lack of balance, I just couldn’t walk in those chunky shoes.

14. Yes, I’m Jewish. Yes, that’s a nun. I have no idea why.

15. The Gargoyles of Washington University. Otherwise known as: What nightmares are made of.

Oy.

And, now,  a picture of Jeff in his room. This is the picture I excitedly sent home to my parents. They couldn’t wait to meet him.

I think I can safely say that our decorating skills have strengthened.

As have we.

09 · 04 · 2011

Wake the Fuck Up

Of course you have heard of the book, Go the Fuck to Sleep. I would like to suggest a follow up, inspired by my husband…

———————————

The dishes are washed, everything tidy in its place
The leftovers boxed up, my dear, and the counters wiped away
I’ve asked you six times, don’t make me say it again
Please, for the love of God
Just empty the fucking trash can.

———————————

You work hard and need your rest
I do know that and care
But you slept all night and napped three times
You’ve more than gotten your share
It’s time to awake and get on with the day
Wake the fuck up already, you hear me ok?

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06 · 05 · 2011

How To Lose A Friendship

Remember the good old days? The days when you could actually lose touch with the people you wanted to lose touch with? Sadly, those days are gone.

Once upon a time, you could leave a job and rest assured that if you never wanted to hear from those cubical mates again, you wouldn’t have to. Old neighbors would receive holiday cards for a few years until the communication fizzled out and expired friendships were allowed to simply fade away. It was a natural part of the cycle of life. Relationships come and go and that’s how it always was and is supposed to be.

Until Facebook. Thanks a lot, Mark Zuckerberg…

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