From the category archives:

Mommy Needs A Drink

Sep
1
2010

Between Siblings

It was a familiar scene: The children were playing upstairs and Jeff and I were sitting on the couch having a late night treat. Suddenly, Evan bounded in the room. I wanna a bite, he announced and pouted his bottom lip out so far that I had no choice but to oblige. Shhhhh, I whispered spoon feeding my little bird. Swallow it quickly and go back upstairs. Pronto.

But before he could even swallow, he darted back to the hallway. Lily! Ben! Mommy gave me ice cream, he hollered gleefully. It’s yummy! In lightning fast speed, I suddenly had three tongues wagging in my face. We heard there was ice cream, they said in unison. We want some, too!

The contents of my Styrofoam cup quickly disappeared (graham cracker ice cream from the newly discovered ice cream place near our house, if you were wondering,) and I sent my little monsters back upstairs to pretend to re-brush their teeth.

Perplexed, I sat trying to analyze my youngest son’s behavior: Would the ice cream not have tasted as good to him had he not announced it to his siblings? He’s smart enough to know that the more they get, the less there is for him. Was half of the joy rubbing it in their faces, on the off chance that I wouldn’t give them a spoonful as well? Or, was it purely altruistic of him, in which case I can’t really relate at all. I have no idea.

I do want to point out something to my little brother: That ice cream was really good. And you didn’t get to have any. Just so you know.

{ 38 comments }

A matter of time

08.24.2010

A few weeks ago, we bought Lily a new watch. It seemed appropriate that she should be able to tell time now (right? I dunno, six seems about right to me.) Plus, she’s always playing at neighbors houses and the idea of telling her to be home by six for dinner seemed so very June [...]

Read this post → 66 comments

Sir Richard Owen

07.20.2010

Have you ever heard of Sir Richard Owen? I hadn’t. Or, maybe I had years ago but like most other information I learned before motherhood, it evaporated from my brain. But, I digress. Tonight, my neighbor was over retrieving her daughter from my house. In her arms was her (most adorable) baby boy. Lily peered [...]

Read this post → 43 comments

It’s 10:30 at night, what are your children doing?

06.16.2010

Can we trade?

Read this post → 39 comments

My Children Are Driving Me Crazy

05.11.2010

You know those kids who you see out shopping who are so misbehaved that you can’t even be annoyed because you’re too busy pitying the parents? Or those children who belong to friends of yours, whom you bitch about all the way from from dinner and count your blessings that you didn’t breed those little [...]

Read this post → 75 comments

I’m not really an idiot, I just have 3 children

04.25.2010

So, you’ve all heard of the so called “pregnancy brain,” right? It’s a totally valid condition; I’m an absolute space cadet when I’m expecting. It’s just par for the puke filled course. But, what’s it called when you are no longer pregnant, but still totally moronic? Child-induced stupidity? Just plain stupidity? Honey, the children ate [...]

Read this post → 99 comments

Two year old for sale, priced to sell

04.22.2010

Almost a year ago, I wrote a post that I called “The Terrible Threes.” My opening words were  something like “Are parenting experts actually… parents? Being one myself, I have a serious bone to pick with them: The “terrible twos” are crap…” I went on  and on to talk about what a joy the twos [...]

Read this post → 146 comments

The joy of siblings

04.04.2010

Lily: Mommmmmmmmmmmmy!!!! Ben is repeating me! Me: So, stop talking. {Insert scowl and three seconds.} Lily: Mommmmmmy!!! Ben is still repeating me. Me: Aren’t you not talking? How is he repeating you? Lily: He’s not talking either! I can’t stand my brother.

Read this post → 42 comments

Childbirth: The grossest thing ever

02.26.2010
Thumbnail image for Childbirth: The grossest thing ever

{Alternatively titled: The nastiest picture of my daughter you will ever see. I pray.} Last week, we sold the changing table that we’ve used for all three nurseries. As the young couple walked out with it, rosy with the excitement that can only come from expecting your first child, my husband pulled aside the stranger-man [...]

Read this post → 94 comments