Why do you always show up so unexpectedly? Like when I’m driving down the road and the sun is hitting my face, so I put the visor down and I’m at a stop light and I’m checking my teeth in the mirror (or something), and suddenly I see you. You’re just there, growing out of my chin in a place you weren’t yesterday. And you’re almost an inch long. An inch long over night, Chin Whisker. And for the love of god, now that I can see you, I can’t un-see you. I know you are there, so I will not stop thinking about you, and touching you until I finally get home where you’ll have a private “playdate” with my tweezers. But first I’ll have to take you grocery shopping with me. And I’ll have to take you to my kid’s game. And you’ll just be there, hanging out. An inch long. Over night.