Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy
Latest posts by Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy (see all)
- Dear Judgy Mothers on My Website… - June 15, 2013
- 10 Skills Every Mother Should Possess - June 10, 2013
- Perfection (Or pretty close) - June 3, 2013
I love to cook. I love researching recipes, shopping for them, preparing, presenting… I truly enjoy it all. Unfortunately, I married someone who would rather eat Chinese Food take-out every night than an impressive home-cooked meal. {Tragic, isn’t it?} Everything I prepare is judged by how it ranks to his beloved Hunan Garden’s Sesame Chicken. There have been a few occasions where I have managed to whip up something that comes close to comparing, but I can never manage to actually beat China in the great match.
Last week, I prepared Chicken Piccata, sauteed spinach and roasted potatoes. My mom was over and she and I enjoyed it before Jeff came home late. Over dinner, we talked about his lack of taste. “So, he won’t even eat this, my mom asked? He’ll eat it, I explained, but he’d just rather be eating Chinese food. And he’ll douse it in ketchup. We both rolled our eyes.
As I predicted, Jeff thanked me for the diner while drowning my lemon flavored, lightly sauteed chicken breasts in Heinz. “It was good,” he said. “Thanks, babe.”
I cleaned it all up and packed up leftovers to eat for lunch. His loss, I thought smugly as I looked forward to noon the following day. He can have his take-out containers and fortune cookies. This is great.
Later that night I hear, “Hey, Jill, do we have any duck sauce?”
Yes, I reply. In the pantry… Why?
“This chicken could almost be Chinese food if I dipped it in duck sauce,” he continued. “And that would be really good.”
Thud.
{Anyone want to come over for dinner tonight? Please?}
{ 77 comments… read them below or add one }
Well…I’m sold on it;)
.-= Nap Warden´s last blog ..Face Painting Project =-.
I love that you blog about your husband driving you crazy. I hope he laughs at it. Not sure it’d go over so well in my home…. ;)
But I wonder, does he douse CHINESE with ketchup? Cuz that’s just weird….
.-= Dani Webb´s last blog ..The Man of the Woods =-.
No, that's the one exception!
Oh, I am so sorry. That is terrible.
.-= Jaime´s last blog ..a family recipe: spaghetti sauce with chicken and sausage =-.
I was laughing out loud at this! My husband douses EVERYTHING in hot sauce. He swears it’s not because he needs to mask the true flavor of the meals I cook, but I’m starting to wonder…
.-= Kristina´s last blog ..Oh where oh where can my baby be? =-.
I wish I lived near you. :)
I used to have a significant other like this. That, coupled with his distaste for vegetables and anything above two-ingredient cookery, did not fare well for this budding gourmand.
Luckily I had the sense to replace that one with the current one, who will jam anything I make into his mouth with GREAT fervor and will proclaim just how wonderful it was to people for weeks on end. Wanna borrow him? (BTW I followed your recommendation for Chicken Marbella and made it a couple of weeks ago and we were both loving it. )
.-= Danielle´s last blog ..Birthday cake, et al. Nom nom nom. =-.
Argh!!!! I feel you. My Hub is Italian but doesn’t like onions, mushrooms, peppers, and spinach. So yeah, if he wants me to make Italian, my hands are tied to the Ragu jar :(
Even aside from Italian, do you know how many recipes use one or more of the above? Oh also, scratch asparagus, feta (whhhaat? I know, I know), cauliflower. *sigh*
Nothing worse than being excited about a new recipe and receiving a grunted “it’s a’ight”.
.-= LizzB´s last blog ..A Little Lightbulb Over My Head =-.
We need to swap husbands, because mine LOVES home-cooked meals, but I’d rather order take-out ANY day of the week.
.-= Rachel´s last blog ..Murphy’s Mama’s Law #12 =-.
Ranch. The condiment of choice in our house for the guy & the teen is ranch dressing. On just about everything.
Like you it frustrates the crap out of me that I work and prepare a meal that is delicious and well balanced, only to have it then covered in ranch dressing.
Oh, and because I normally serve a protein/meat, veggie, a 2nd veggie or starch, he says that I “fuss” too much about dinner. I guess because I actually create a MEAL, and not an ENTREE, I’m fussing.
Men. ~sigh~
.-= brandy´s last blog ..The Bloggity Blog Blog Tag =-.
OMG!! My husband says the same thing! Really?! People eat just an entree? I need a meal!
It would be one thing if you were a terrible cook, but you are fantastic!!!
Oh My Goodness! I volunteer to eat your delicious meals any day of the week… I love to cook also. Mr.H likes what he calls “simple flavors”. So if it has more than 5 ingredients it’s “too much work” LOL… luckily over time he’s come to appreciate my cooking. I’d hide the duck sauce if I were you ;) LOL
.-= Roxane´s last blog ..Not me (and Maybeline) Monday! =-.
I’m so sorry… And you actually like to cook! How many women would love to be married to take out guy and how many men would love to be married to culinary goddess… The universe is a strange yenta.
.-= Kate Coveny Hood´s last blog ..Auction for Carol – Only One More Day! =-.
I used to have a roommate that put ketchup on everything. Used to drive me crazy – I used to tell her how much sodium it had or that there is a small percentage of cockroaches in it (I won’t eat it). Nothing would deter her.
Now my hubby puts garlic salt on everything – even before tasting it. Again, drives me crazy – does this not insult the cook? Seasoning something before tasting?
Oh well, at least it doesn’t have cockroaches in it!
.-= T Rex Mom´s last blog ..Friday Fashion Statement…(a day late) =-.
Here’s my idea, if you can take it/afford it:
Do you remember the book ‘Bread & Jam for Frances’? Where the little girl only wants to eat B&J, so her parents finally indulge her and let her eat it for every meal until she’s completely sick of B&J and dying for a home-cooked meal? Yeah, that’s what I would do. Weeks, if it took that long. But I bet he’s not too big for a little reverse psychology ;)
I can’t even imagine not being thrilled over a home-cooked meal. He clearly has no clue how lucky he is!
Best idea EVER. Treat the husband like a child. Genius. :)
As if you work so hard in the kitchen and your husband would rather eat Chinese food! Doesn’t he know how lucky he is? He should come over to my house, where my speciality is Grilled Cheese or English Muffin pizzas. Seriously, I SUCK in the kitchen. Good for you! I hope your children at least appreciate your kitchen skills!
.-= Loukia´s last blog ..Weekend wrap-up! =-.
Oh, man! I’d be happy to come over! And my husband would be THRILLED!!! I can’t cook at all!
.-= Robin´s last blog ..Musical Monday: More Happiness =-.
MMMmmmmmmmmmm can I come over?
.-= DCUrbanDad´s last blog ..The truth of fatherhood is….. =-.
We have the opposite problem here. My husband would usually rather have a home-cooked meal and I’d rather eat out as much as possible. There’s just so much less to clean up and deal with when take-out’s involved. It also doesn’t help that my cooking repertoire isn’t all that vast.
.-= Crystal´s last blog ..Weekly Winners Vol. 1 =-.
okay I have a cure for you – go to china – to a REAL chinese restaurant – and guess what – YOU WILL NEVER EAT CHINESE FOOD AGAIN!
(believe me, we don’t)
.-= Tiaras & Tantrums´s last blog ..I ♥ Faces ~ Sepia =-.
that sucks. My husband will eat anything – especially if it is covered in cheese. He seems to like everything, which I find more irritating than having to deal with a picky eater for some reason. Perhaps the lack of an opinion? I once told him I was going to pick dog poo out of the back yard, shape it in the form of a burger, cover it with cheese, and serve it, knowing he would eat it – Because it was covered in cheese. He was very hesitant of ALL burgers for about 3 months after that comment.
.-= HaB´s last blog ..2 Going on 12? =-.
I’ll pay you to cook for us! The only thing I can muster is culinary disasters. My most recent meal turned out all yellow.
.-= Lynn from For Love or Funny´s last blog ..Is yellow a food group? =-.
Hey, at least he buys you expensive earrings….. oh yeah…. Sorry.
.-= Jennifer´s last blog ..I’ve had my fill…. =-.
Just to set the record straight, Scary Mommy is a phenomenal cook. One of the best. And she makes it look so easy. As they say, “it’s not you. It’s me.”
If not for the fact that you’re a good 8 hours away from me… I would be there in a heartbeat!
.-= Shannon´s last blog .. =-.
I love that your husband commented on your blog!! Chicken Piccata is my absolute favorite. Hold on, I’ll be right over…
.-= Susan Hinchcliffe´s last blog ..Tag, You’re it! =-.
I thought I was the only one married to a guy like that.
If it’s not steak (medium rare) and baked/mashed potatoes with a side of steamed veggies – then it’s “okay”. That’s it. New recipes are frowned upon. Chicken is a rarity. Meatloaf is acceptable. Pasta is okay once every 2 weeks. Rice can be substituted for potatoes once a week. Other than that, it has to be beef (seasoned with the specific jar of ready to go steak rub) and potatoes.
He doesn’t smother in ketchup, though. He uses soy sauce instead.
.-= Kay´s last blog ..I knew I forgot something… =-.
I’ll come for dinner! :)
.-= Amanda of Shamelessly Sassy´s last blog ..Sunshine on my Shoulders =-.
At least he admitted to it just being him. Hahaha! Duck sauce on chicken piccata!? That’s just wrong. ;)
.-= Ryan Ashley Scott´s last blog ..Flashback Friday: Preschool Anxiety =-.
Oh my god this was too funny Jill. Since I’m reading it from afar. But I can imagine it would get pretty aggravating to be living it.
So yes please, I’d love to enjoy your home -cooking! Without ketchup OR duck sauce!
.-= christy´s last blog ..Just Call Me Speed Demon =-.
Can you just come cook for me every night and be my personal chef??? That would be great! Especially since I am not creative and tend to make the same 5 or so recipes over and over again!
.-= Heather´s last blog ..Update on Life =-.
If you are cooking, I will be there! Sounds like you can whip up some delicious goodies… I’m not all that great in the kitchen. However I am AWESOME on the grill!
.-= Tiffany @ Paging Doctor Mommy´s last blog ..Not Me Monday! =-.
Come on over to my house, my husband would love a home cooked meal. And I’ll order Chinese with your hubby ;)
.-= Coma Girl´s last blog ..I Hope You Can All Come to My Book Signing! =-.
I’ll come over for dinner! I hate cooking so this would work out perfectly.
I’m a huge fan of Chinese food too. But the place that used to deliver closed down so I’ve been going through Chinese food withdrawals.
.-= Amber´s last blog ..Living with the Military =-.
You Jeff can come over and eat some microwave crap with my Jeff and we will enjoy cooking real food together.
.-= Jen, buried with children´s last blog ..Can You Say Addicted? =-.
Well, what about pepper? Mr. Sullivan douses his food with so much of it that the entire dish looks black! So at home , I just say we’re out of the stuff. Let him sneeze at the restaurants, instead…
.-= Sue´s last blog ..Today’s Thrifty Treasures =-.
Was that Thud the sound of you hitting him on the head with a frying pan?
.-= Texan Mama´s last blog ..How to Have a Relaxing Vacation =-.
at least he said thank you. I usually don’t get that
.-= Kendra´s last blog ..Friday =-.
yikes! I don’t like to cook, but darn when i do… my hubby BETTER be thankful or the horns come out and wrath is upon him!!!!!!!!!!!
.-= Lizzie´s last blog ..I’m a Hermit Crab =-.
Yes that would definitely drive me crazy too. But I would probably do something naughty like hide (or better, throw out) his ketchup, and innocently tell him I had no idea where it had gone, so that he HAD to eat it without. Hehe.
.-= Lady Mama´s last blog ..Parents of many (more than 2) =-.
you can come cook for me ANYTIME!!!!!
.-= scrappysue´s last blog ..photostory friday: sharing the cupcake love =-.
I’ll come over for dinner!
My husband doesn’t like chicken. Unless it is battered and fried.
He likes to cook…tacos, burritos, biscuits and gravy, fried okra, fried anything, and anything else that is generally unhealthy.
No wonder I’m having a hell of a time losing weight. :) At least he cooks, though! I’ll take it.
I’ve got one of those, too.
He’s from Texas…so his weapon is salsa. He’s always very complimentary of whatever I’ve fixed, BEFORE he’s tasted it, and WHILE he’s pouring a mountain of salsa on it right out of the jar.
*sigh*
I feel your pain.
.-= Ri´s last blog ..…it’s still Monday… =-.
oooh, me! me! *frantically raises hand*
I love cooking too, and while my husband doesn;’t love chinese takeout more than my cooking, he does tend to use mayo on every typs of fish I make. I understand on fishsticks (I don’t really, but whatever) – but on lemon-dill salmon fillets? or on lightly breaded cod sauteed in olive oil and garlic, with olive tapenade and cayenne pepper? oh, and on garlic-rosemary roasted potatoes!! seriously, some days I feel like throwing the mayo out of the window.
Should we maybe have a lovely dinner on our own and leave them to eat takeout? ;-)
.-= Elisa´s last blog ..Everyone is a “don’t” sometimes. Or: the one where I was in such a hurry I left all my glamour at home. =-.
Ah-hahaha – I love that he felt the need to comment!!
I’m a Heinz kind of girl, so I get that but Chinese over homemade…hmmmmm. :)
.-= Futureblackmail´s last blog ..IN WHICH I "CAMP" =-.
LOL I’m sorry! I am the same way, I love to cook, my only problem is that my hubby works nights and he ends up getting the left overs the next day. They just dont taste as good that way! My kids are the ones to look at me wierd and ask for the teryaki sauce!
.-= Nicole´s last blog ..Menu Plan Monday and Chicken Marsala =-.
Oh dear. I am so, so sorry. My husband went through a period of time where he put hot sauce on everything I made. It really offended me. I would say “just TRY the food first!” Ugh, men.
.-= Kelly Deneen´s last blog ..Making a statement =-.
Blasphemy!
For the longest time, my mom would get so offended when he ketchuped (yes I made that a verb) everything. I think she's gotten over it after 14 years now.
My husband wants to eat steak and potatoes for dinner every night. Gets boring (and expensive) quick!
.-= Mom Taxi Julie´s last blog ..Monday Morning Snuggle =-.
I hate to cook, so I'd eat anything you wanted to make :-)
God love him. He must be related to PB who thinks everything should have gravy on it.
YUM….I'm on my way over… : ) I wish I could cook something… I am hopeless!
I will admit that he does rave about your cooking all the time :-) He always says that you are an amazing cook….which I already know. You should just feed him on the floor or at the little picnic table since they both worked for Ben.
Mine just comes home and attempts to veto whatever I am planning to make in favor of something that requires less dishes. Not sure why, because I do them:)
Bread and water would be appropriate for a couple of weeks.
I hate when Daddy puts salt, ketchup or any other condiment on my food before even tasting it… drives me nuts!
I’m trying to comment again. Forgot what I was going to say other than testing, testing, 123.
.-= Heather, Queen of Shake Shake´s last blog ..They say parenting is the hardest job ever, but let’s establish a pecking order anyway =-.
I would die.
No wonder you said you were going to make that dish just for you ;-) LOL.
Poor you.
That man’s tastebuds must be dulled if he doesn’t enjoy your cuisine!!!
Poor baby. If I lived there, or you here, you could come down here and we’d cook together!!! YAY.
Oh. My. Gosh.
OH MY GOSH!
Gary hates my cooking and always wants McDonalds.
Sadly though, my food is nothing like yours.
You are a cooking STAR : ).
.-= Life with Kaishon´s last blog ..Tales from the Circus! =-.
I'll be over in about 20 minutes. Ketchup and chinese food, huh? HIs mother must've liked fast food and take out, huh? HA!
Are you kidding I will be there in a heartbeat! My mouth started watering when you mentioned what you were making! I love to eat, hate to cook. Maybe we should be friends!
.-= Kim´s last blog ..We’ve Survived…So Far =-.
I kinda love Chinese food too. But not every day, and ketchup? Bleah! But here’s a thought: For his birthday, give him Chinese Cookery Lessons! And all of the wok stuff! My Mum did that to my Dad once, and he cooked the same four Chinese dishes over and over for a year. Us kids didn’t mind, he felt like a pro, and Mum got a break from the kitchen.
.-= Nan´s last blog ..Angst and the Suspicious Parent =-.
I know my husband is not impressed with a meal when he busts out the mayonaise.
I love that your husband thinks he’s chinese…really cute.
.-= Mama Kat´s last blog ..The Bachelorette: Everything I Learned, I Learned From The Bachelorette =-.
What is wrong with him?!!!!!!
.-= Starnes Fam´s last blog ..Little Mommy =-.
something seriously wrong w your hubs if he douses everything w ketchup. hell just being a ketchup lover alone makes him a freak in my eyes lol
I used to love to cook but as they became adults and scattered it seemed pointless to cook an elaborate meal just for me. Now I would love to cook for the holidays but like everything in life if you don’t practice you lose your touch, so keep cooking no matter what.
.-= passions & soapboxes´s last blog ..Jack And The Dryer…. =-.
Oh, I don’t know if I can get on board with you here! I would be beyond thrilled if J wanted take out all the time! But, I hate to cook, and am not very good at it…
However, a few of the times I have tried to cook, he has compared it to him mom’s cooking which made me want to hit him with his own plate.
.-= LZ´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday: There once was a girl… =-.
You could try telling him that sex with him is almost as good as that with your lover… LOL
.-= Mrs4444´s last blog ..Adventures of the Mountainous Type =-.
NOOOOOOOOO………..that’s just craziness. :) I wanna come over for dinner. Please? :)
.-= angie´s last blog ..Wordful Wednesday-the new house =-.
Let him and your little one share a plate on the floor. I’m just kidding!!! :) It is kind of funny that a grown man is loading up on the Heinz…..or Duck Sauce. Your dinner sounded yummy though!!
.-= Cookie Crums´s last blog ..My Lil Monster…..Mommy is a Sucker! =-.
i personally got to sample your awesome cooking and think jeff has no idea what he is missing!!! i’d eat over at your house any day!!!
thanks for the yummy dinner!
Mine will eat anything. Lovingly prepared or been-sitting-in-the-fridge-for-a-week-and-it-smells-kinda-funky.
No freaking challenge in that.
This is cute. First visit to your site and I like it already. Funny story although I am sure it is very irritating for you. Hang in there.. :)
Seriously? I’ll trade husbands with you. At least until I get tired of Chinese food. ;-)
.-= Krissa´s last blog ..I said I’d post again within a week and SEE, I DID. =-.
Its better than my husband who always says “It makes a turd.”
The psychic sent me here, BTW. Love this site.
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