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"Christian" Haunted House Wanted To Include Pulse Nightclub Shooting And We Quit Everything

by Meredith Bland
Image via Gerardo Mora/Getty Images

Elementary school cancels “Christian” haunted house after learning about plans for Pulse Nightclub room

A Chicago elementary school canceled its plans to co-host a haunted house called “The Room: A Journey To Hell,” after learning that the production company in charge planned to include recreations of mass shootings, including the one at Pulse Nightclub this past June.

Tissue for your rage tears? Here. We know.

Fernwood Elementary school in Chicago agreed to sponsor a haunted house created by a production company called Tyrone Tappler Productions. According to the school, it wasn’t until recent ads for the event came out that they learned this haunted house would include depictions of — in addition to the Pulse Nightclub — a botched abortion and the Charleston church shooting.

Michael Passman, a spokesman for Chicago Public Schools (CPS), told the Windy City Times that, “The event organizers mischaracterized the true content of the event, and we did not approve any association with the activities the organizers have now advertised. The event will not be held on CPS property.”

This brings up a few questions we have about the school and this “Christian haunted house”:

Question one: What the hell would a Christian haunted house be doing at a public school in the first place? Isn’t that the kind of thing that has no place in a public school?

Question two: What the hell did the school think they were going to get in a “Christian haunted house”? What could possibly take place there that wouldn’t be offensive to somebody? Did they imagine it would be something like a creepy Noah beckoning people onto an ark that was filled with pair after pair of blood-thirsty zombie animals? Or maybe the Three Wise Men would come after people with chainsaws, screaming “No one wants our myrrh!”? Or the baby Jesus would sit up in his manger, his eyes would glow, his head would start spinning, and he’d vomit all over visitors and tell them that their mothers s**k c***s in hell? I mean, honestly, people. There was no scenario that would have made this ok.

Question three: How did they not find out what was going to be in this haunted house until days before the event? Even if it was just a regular, ordinary haunted house, you’d think you’d want to clear the plans before it’s presented to children. I don’t mean to place blame on the school, but…come on, now.

Apparently, self-described minister and me-described asshole Tyrone Tappler wasn’t exactly trying to hide his intentions. Back in August, he put out a call on Facebook for haunted house volunteers that read: “Club Pulse, Dancers, Victims … CAGED PEOPLE/SCREAMERS, Extras needed trying to escape a cage! … SOUNDS INTERESTING? COME OUT THIS SATURDAY!!!”

Really? Sounds interesting? Then go fuck yourself. In fact, I will provide my own “Room” just for the people who thought this sounded interesting to go fuck themselves in.

On the ticket sales page at Eventbrite, “The Room” is described as “a real-life haunted house. Guests will experience IN YOUR FACE scenes of dark reality. ‘A trip through hell’ You will walk in 10 Rooms and encounter individuals who will make choices. The choice is life or death; sin or salvation; heaven or hell. The scenes will be action-packed, real and jaw dropping. THE ROOM is not your typical haunted house. Once you enter there is no looking back- it’s time to face the consequences of your actions….”

At Pulse Nightclub, 49 people were killed and 53 were injured. Pulse was a gay nightclub, which must be why it was included in Tappler’s little house of horrors. Because what Tappler was trying to say, in his very “Christian” way, was that those people deserved to be slaughtered because of the choice they made to live in sin.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU. P.S. Gay = not a choice, not a sin. And also FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.

This crazy man thought this would be appropriate for an elementary school?! Tappler, who describes himself as a licensed minister, and apparently, according to his Twitter handle, a “playwright,” has responded to the controversy with the following tweets:

If what he wanted was attention, well, he certainly has it. But given that the responses to these tweets include phrases like, “See you in hell,” “the whole world is telling you you’re wrong,” and a picture of a man with his head up his own ass, we think that “going global” isn’t going to work out for this monster quite the way he hopes it will.

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