Come, Be In My Tribe – Scary Mommy

Come, Be In My Tribe

With arms wide open, I open my door. The lights are on. Come, be in my tribe.

New mom, exhausted from an infant who doesn’t sleep and needing a rest. Come, knock on my door. I can hold her while you sleep; it’s nice and quiet in my guest room. I promise: this does get better, even though it feels like it never will; I’ve been there. I want to help you. Come, be in my tribe.

Working mom, with the career of your dreams and the fruit of your hard work, I know you sometimes feel rushed to get the kids after work. Let me pick them up for you and when you’re finished with the meeting, swing by and get them. Come, be in my tribe.

Your youngest child is headed off to college in another month. Let’s talk about your experiences. How did you do it? Sometimes, the days seem so long. Can you help me figure this all out? I need your advice. Please. Come, be in my tribe.

Stay-at-home mom, I know you mostly love being at home, but sometimes, I think you crave a minute alone. I can take them to the park while you finally drink your cup of coffee in peace. Really, I’m going to the park anyway. Come, be in my tribe.

Coworker with no kids of her own, I know it’s loud and messy here, but I really love it when you stop over. I can make you a pumpkin spiced latte and we can talk about the books you’ve been reading. Come, be in my tribe.

Your maternity leave is over, so stop in if you can on your way to work. I will have chocolate and tissues waiting here for you, tied together in a turquoise bow. This day will be hard, but chocolate made me feel better. Come, be in my tribe.

Neighbor, sweet neighbor. I love how you enjoy my kids and how you look at me knowingly, with the soft smile of a grandmother. You tell me how quickly it all goes and I partially know, because the firsts are turning to lasts. I need your wisdom. Come, be in my tribe.

Former student, not a mom and maybe never a mom – the choice is all yours. My daughter loves to climb into your lap with her book. I think I can help you with papers and stories and life. And maybe you could help me remember that while I’m a mother and a wife, I was a teacher first? Come, be in my tribe.

Single mom, raising your kids and being on duty 24/7. I can take your son for ice cream with mine after baseball practice since your daughter has dance at the same time. Would that help? Come, be in my tribe.

Mom of two, whose husband is deployed, come and eat dinner with my family. It’s the least we can do for your service. I’m really not much of a cook, but we could order a pizza and cut some fresh lettuce from my garden. Come, be in my tribe.

Women. Mothers. Friends. Sisters. Aunts. Grandmothers. I know it can be hard to find your tribe with true friends to surround you. But maybe it doesn’t have to be? Let’s come together. Let’s be good to one another. It’s really that simple. Reach out to one another, helping when you can. Come, start your tribe. Come, join my tribe. Come, be in my tribe.

Kara Lawler believes that mothering is just another way to explore identity, and she writes about the divide that is mothering her own children while still mothering her spirit and the sacred on her blog, Mothering the Divide. Kara has been published in various publications including The Huffington Post, Parenting, Today Show Parents, Scary Mommy, Club Mid, Patheos, Mamapedia, Mama Lovejoy, and Mamalode. She is also a contributing editor for Cargo Literary and writes a weekly column, "Mama Meditations," for Mama Lovejoy. Kara is also on the advisory board for Zero Weeks, a documentary about the lack of paid family leave in the United States. Come, join Kara's tribe on Facebook.