Scary Mommy Confessions

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  • Felt good to tell my bitch of a MIL that she and the rest of her crazy family are the reason I'm on anxiety meds. And she wonders why I don't allow them to see my precious child. Hate isn't a strong enough word...
  • I always sit around and bitch about my husband with my friends because they're married to creeps and assholes. Truth is, I couldn't ask for a better partner to trek through this life with.
  • My h and I haven't been together for two year and he's living with his girlfriend and Im still in love with him and would take him back in a heart beat
  • My mom didn't hang up her phone before it went to voicemail, I got a 90 second voicemail of her and my aunt talking shit about my parenting. I guess if I had a better role model growing up, I'd be better at it.
  • We have been really lazy about brushing DD4's teeth. Tonight, I was brushing her teeth and realized she has 2, maybe 3 cavities. I feel like a complete failure of a mother.
  • After dd1 my boobs became totally asymmetrical, with dd2 they got worse. One nipple is a good 3 inches above the other.
  • I have 2 kids under 2 and after my recent divorce I realized I would rather not have kids than be a single mom.
  • I can only have sex with my husband if I pretend he's Paul Walker. I can't bring myself to sleep with him since he died. I'm so ridiculous.
  • Told H that he would get more sex if I ever actually had an O instead of faking it for his ego. BEST conversation ever! The more I O the Hornier I get. Every night for the last week and a half.
  • I hate my husband. Pure unadulterated hate. I'm going to have a baby in Nov. and he keeps saying he's going to leave. Part of me really hopes he does, but our 2-year old loves him like there's no tomorrow. I'm so sad.

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