Scary Mommy Confessions

confessional

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  • I've been drinking vodka for about 2 hours straight now. I am such a better mom when drinking.. or on vicodin. Wondering where I can get more of those without a prescription? My kids deserve Nice Mommy.
  • The only songs that ever get stuck in my head are from Disney jr.
  • Gained 70 pounds since marriage, watch what I eat all day, then binge at night. Been officially diagnosed with binge eating disorder by a doc, but H thinks it's bullshit and just an excuse for being lazy.
  • My 2.5 year old can say "God Dammit" just like me. He says it to the dogs. He says it about dropped toys. He uses this phrase all-the-time. Just like Mommy does under her breath. Umm, I'm hoping it's just a phase.
  • When I had my DD2 it really opened my eyes to H's behavior. Now in school to make something of myself and leave his ass. Also I don't feel bad for cheating on him. He shouldn't act like a spoiled controlling child.
  • Every time I meet a guy I want to date, I hope and pray that he won't insist/prefer that I wax my crotch. That shit is time-consuming and expensive.
  • I'm so horrified with how out of shape I have let myself become, I am embarrassed to start working out again. A former all American in 2sports (soc&lax) now 50lbs overweight and can't catch breathe after stairs. Need help
  • Literally sweating my tits off doing the night feed in this heat wave. Apparently England doesn't get hot enough for air con....my car has it, I might go sit in there and feed ds3 mnts.
  • Preggo with one bathroom. DH was getting ready to get in the shower and I ran in saying, "Sorry, but I can't wait!" and started to shit my brains out. Honeymoon's over? LOL
  • I saw my dad's doctor on the news for shooting a guy who went into his office to do a mass shooting. It's terrifying that it happened...but I'm also REALLY sickly excited this all happened to someone I know.

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