Scary Mommy Confessions


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  • I've started planning out my outfits and makeup to look pretty for him, and buying new clothes with what he might like in mind. Even though I'm fat and he's married...and he's my shrink. Christ, I've become THAT patient.
  • I kinda like the smell of my own boob sweat.
  • I am all about attachment parenting and parenting with love. But I told my moody seven year old son to shut up multiple times today. I suck. But so does the eye rolling. And mood swings.
  • My fave YouTuber posting videos about her new baby. Don't want kids of my own bc I don't think I could handle it, but like getting a vicarious view as to what it might be like since I won't have the experience myself.
  • I work in an abortion clinic and always feel awesome walking into work with my head held high as the protesters plead with and yell at me to get a job somewhere else.
  • A girl I am friendly with considers me one of her bffs, she just found out she is pregnant and wants me to be baby's godmother. Truth is, I really don't even like this girl. Awkward!
  • Sitting here picking the skin off of my feet. Haven't showered in almost a week. I'm a dirtball
  • I have two sisters who are thin and pretty, but have tons of ugly stretch marks from their babies. I'm the fat one (pretty, too), but I have absolutely no stretch marks from my two kids! Win for me!
  • 6 mos pg w/ #4 and I got hit on today!! Grocery bags were hiding my belly, when he saw it he said "Whoa!!" Lol but at least I still got it!!
  • Im 32, sleeping with a 25 yr old. Im proud of myself and tell everyone but it actually really bums me out because ive been single for 3 years and really want a relationship, the boy toy has made it clear he does not

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