Scary Mommy Confessions

mommy confessions

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  • I want to write a book called "My Mustache Matches My Under-Eye Circles: A Compendium of Post-Partum Realities" but the human race would probably die out...
  • I drink a bottle of wine at night, because I'm so bored being at home night after night. Then i feel guilty because I'm hungover & don't feel taking them to the park. It's a shitty cycle I can't seem to get out of.
  • My husband is a better parent than I am.
  • I have figured it out, the only way to stay thin is not to eat ( you can still drink) but people respect your discipline when you don't put everything in your mouth.
  • My h's beard looks like pubic hair. Not sexy at all yet he is so proud of himself. if I tell him he would be devastated. Married to a drama queen.
  • My adopted daughter (10) cut holes into the couch and some other stuff of mine and won't admit it, so angry and frustrated that I sent her to her room because I am scared by how angry I am.
  • I don't remember death dates. I'm afraid I won't even remember the days my mom or H (or forbid, the kids) die.
  • My friend of 25 years has always been a goody two shoes. Vegetarian, yoga enthusiast, never really drank, no smoking of anything ever. She's just announced she's giving up coffee. I don't think we can be friends anymore.
  • I'm supposed to be getting our tax info together for the CPA. Instead, I've been on SM over 2 hours, trying to feel better about myself.
  • I am still grieving over my best friend who hasn't talked to me in 6 years. It felt like a bad divorce and now I have no friends. She has moved on to a new career, new friends, a new country. I have moved on to being a SAHM.
  • I am caring for my ill mother. I would rather be here in the hospital than with my 5 year old. She is so demanding. I feel like I love her because I have to. Unfortunately that means I am not around for the 20 mo old either.
  • I regret the decisions I have made in the past few years. I chose the wrong guy. He's an idiot and lazy.
  • I'm so terrified of having to share my baby boy with his father and his new girlfriend. I'm afraid she'll be mean to him because he's not hers and she hates me. The thought of it makes me cry.
  • I had no idea that you are supposed to use mouthwash after you brush, not before.
  • I was a smug asshole about how much weight I lost breastfeeding. Then I stopped, went back on BC, and immediately gained back 15lb, even though I'm watching what I eat. Seriously?!

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