Scary Mommy Confessions


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  • Sometimes I wish I didn't wake up in the morning, I'm so tired of everything. I just want to feel loved.
  • After 3 kids under 5, I have total 'mummy tummy' (sags/wrinkles). Was lying on the floor relaxing yesterday when my eldest pulled up my shirt to play 'sailing' with 2 wee toy boats...& my tummy was the rippling ocean :(
  • I gag during blow jobs. poor hubby never gets them, never have swallowed either! Wife fail!
  • Okay, so obviously I can't ever announce this irl, so wanna know something? I think my hoo-ha is ridiculously sexy! A beautiful, pink little package...looks lovely, smells lovely... Any man should/would feel privileged!
  • My dirty awesome secret? At 7mo pg, my libido is CRAZY, & dh will spend hrs going down on me so I come again & again. What he doesn't know is that I use the blocked view (my big ol' belly) to pretend its the 20yo pool boy;)
  • I feel like a bad person as would love another baby but don't want to get fat again! Gained 70lbs with ds2 lost it all but don't want to do it again! Was so unhappy about my figure it ruined having a baby! Bad mum :(
  • I want to think of a way to earn money from home just so I have something to spend on me without anyone else knowing. Myown secret income.
  • DH got me a massage at the spa. Don't think he ordered a "happy ending" but damn if that woman didn't massage my V. Almost fell off the table. Can't wait to go back. And here I thought it was just for guys. My lord.
  • I have chronic pain from an injury-but no insurance. Recently, working as a housekeeper for a rich couple, noticed they have expired rx pills lying around... I secretly took some. Now PETRIFIED they have found out-so scared:(
  • I finally got a taste of being a SAHM and now my hubby asked me to go back to work. I never want to go back. Thinking of lying about applying and not getting any interviews...forever!

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