Scary Mommy Confessions

confessional

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  • When my son was 4 months old, a wasp flew in my car window. I freaked out, pulled over and jumped out of the car. My son was still in there..I went and grabbed him from the backseat..but I should've taken him first with me..
  • I thought the smell was my newborn's umbilical stump because it reeked every time I sat down to change him. Stumps been gone for a week and I smelled the smell again. Turns out it's my chach.
  • Blood sugar got way too low, but DD was already in the bath. Eating cheese and bread in the bathroom, and feeding her cheese in the tub. At least I just cleaned in here :/ Still feel so gross about it.
  • What I NEED is really good sex...what I'll probably get is a quickie.
  • I talk to my boys about the LGBTQ community in the world, because I don't want them to be closed minded about it, and also because I am bi.
  • I don't hate Caillou. My kids are far more annoying than he is. If my kids behaved "as well" as Caillou, I'd be thrilled.
  • I'm 6 months pregnant. Didn't feel like going to work today, so I said I had a high fever and needed to see my doc. Staying home watching TV and masturbating. Hope karma doesn't come back to bite me in the ass!
  • Took a day off of work for ME time! This includes DMV, errands & shopping for me. Alone. No kids. No friends. No man. It. Is. Awesome.
  • I love being an RN, but hate having to hold my pee in for 12 hours at a stretch for fear that a patient will really need me while I'm on the toilet.
  • This morning a little gooey booger got on my makeup brush and I smeared it all over my face. Since I’m the mom of a toddler, this didn’t faze me one bit.
  • I almost never wash my hands after using the restroom unless someone's there. But if they're still in a stall, I’ll just run the water so they think I did.
  • My DS did the ice bucket challenge at his Grandpa's house but I'm so pissed off at the stupid thing I refused to watch his video because I hate people who need to show off. And I had a friend who died of ALS last year.
  • Cant wait for dd to nap so I can masturbate to literotica. I prefer culkhold stories . My husband is as macho as they come!
  • I've been overtaking my Klonopin for months now and am afraid to tell my psychiatrist.
  • After spending most of my life hating my mother and resenting her for everything she was not, I realize I am just like her and have spent most of my life hating myself...why did I waste so much time

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