Scary Mommy Confessions

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  • I've had food on the conveyor belt and then learned the hard way that there was no money left on debit card/cash in my purse.Twice.I know I should have helped put the food back but was so ashamed I ran out of the store.
  • I am 35 years old and can't frenchbraid my own hair. I do my DDs' like Elsa from Frozen, ffs! Cannot do my own hair to save my life. When I try? It looks like DDs did MY hair, LOL
  • One of the things I get most excited about when I have the very rare occasion to be out of the house on my own is going to Dunkin' Donuts and getting a donut I don't have to share. I feel so liberated.
  • My husband has no sex drive. I wonder if he is impotent and afraid to tell me.
  • I accept that women love being intimate with each other. Wish I could say the same for men.
  • I have The Grand Canyon between my legs.
  • I once loved my husband but now I find his familiarity detestable. Always kisses me 5 times before going to work and bed, says the same shit to me morning and night. I want to fucking trade him in for a woman.
  • He is really lousy in bed, but he is so pleased with himself and thinks he did well and thinks that I loved it as much as he did, and he never notices it's not "all that" to me.
  • H & kids are ALWAYS up my ass. I was getting no alone time whatsoever, which i desperately need to recharge. So now I wake up at 4 am, drink coffee & watch tv - all by myself for 2 hours. I guess its a win?
  • Realized im not attracted to df anymore. A little over a year into this and I fantasize about my ex every time we have sex. The ex took the time on foreplay. Df doesn't. ...

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