Scary Mommy Confessions

mommy confessions

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  • I can't handle the stress of it all for much longer. Something has got to change before I lose my shit
  • Friend just found out her military DH will be reassigned in the next 6 months and they will move. Acting all sad for her, but internally I am doing the happy dance. She can cause drama for someone else now!
  • If my dh wants sex I tell him he has to shower first and use the body wash/shampoo I buy. If I didn't request that he would probably never shower.
  • I feel like not being able to get pregnant is payback for all the awful things I did to my body when I was younger.
  • I got a bare bottom birthday spanking when I was 17 by a HS crush. It was one of the most erotic experiences I have had in my 56 years on this earth.
  • Looked at my pussy,it use to be so pretty! Now...at forty,I didn't know it would turn another color or sag either! How can my DH eat that? I couldn't let him yesterday I was to paranoid!
  • I'm starting to have intimacy dreams. No sex, just men who want to be near me and with me. My husband loves me but goes days without touching or hugging me, and weeks without sex. I miss him.
  • I still mourn the abortion I had, but I would still do it again. I would have been suicidal and abusive to that baby. I was so not ready. It helped turn me into the (relatively) stable, loving mother I am now.
  • Some days, it takes every ounce of strength not to do what I crave to do. It scares me.
  • Just cracked open a can of Four Loko. It's 9:55am. Whatever.
  • I promised DW if she wore a string bikini to the beach this summer, I'd wear a Speedo. She asked me why in the world I thought she'd do something she doesn't want to do in order to see something she doesn't want to see.
  • Test came back negative, but I fucking know I'm pregnant. And I don't really want to be. My baby is 8 months old and I don't think I can handle another baby again. Guess ill wait another week for another test.
  • Last night I was having a very sexy dream about dh. Woke him up with a hand job, one week post partum and I am so freaking horny, how will we make it another 5 weeks??
  • If the toilet clogs, I ignore everyone's demands that I unplug it, and only fix it when I need to take a dump myself.
  • I always get creeped out being left alone with FIL. He's a nice guy and all that but he is a foot and a half taller than me and twice my weight (so is hubby) he is always looking at my boobs and butt. Idk why I feel this way

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