- Took a shit this morning that totally looked like Jabba the hut. Totally gross I know, but I feel soooooo much better!
- I'm 20 weeks pregnant and still not sure I want to have this baby.
- Sitting in car line & I just peed my pants :(
- Annnnd I just found a lego head smiling up at me from my DS1s poop diaper. Clearly supervision has gotten too lax around here.
- I just sharted in my pants and think I will sit in it for a while...love the feeling!!
- I'm drinking the juice box my kid won't finish because I told myself I have to be hydrated before I start in on the wine.
- I got hit on - by an actual, young, hot human male (with all his hair and teeth) - last night, for the first time in ages! Made my week! This is why going to the gym is WORTH it!
- Just watched Benedict Cumberbatch's ice bucket challenge and my overies exploded....good god that man is delicious!!
- When I drive past a construction site, I crane my neck to see if any of the men are hot. If one has their shirt off, I practically crash the car!!
- I had a serious crush on Shia Labeouf...when he was on Even Stevens...when he was like 12, I was 18. Now he's a little too crazy for me...lol
- Having a big dog makes me feel like kind of a badass.
- Im afraid to lose weight bc I think I will leave my DH for the first attractive man whos pays me a compliment
- My regimen for staying fit: I eat healthy and workout from Monday to Friday but when the weekend rolls around, I drink wine, eat sticky buns and chocolate and have wild sex with girls.
- I stole ds's ten bucks to get my pain meds without dh knowing. Why can't I break this cycle of pill chasing
- Currently trying to figure out how to sneak some cookies for breakfast without DS4 noticing.
- My 7 month old rolled off a stool in the bathroom. Two hours later I'm still crying with guilt while she's peacefully sleeping away. I feel awful, I hope she didn't hit herself too much on the hard tile :(