- He gave me an ultimatum and I don't think I can do through with it in the time he wants. I'm gonna lose him again. He's gonna hate me. But I can't. I just want to talk to him. but he's not answering me. cry.
- I use my vibrator so much my boyfriend can't get me off anymore. He thinks he's a stud, and makes me cum every time because I fake it so he'll get off. I keep trying new stuff to get it going, but nope. Vibrator it is!
- My husband deploys soon and I'm secretly excited. 6 months of eating what/when I want, doing what I want, and having the TV to myself! But I also hate that he will miss out on dd growing up.
- I just scrubbed the toilet with my husband's toothbrush for the first time. I made sure to rub it all over the shit splatters he never bothers to clean up. Sweet sweet revenge.
- I've bene having weird..... I mean WEIRD sex dreams about Tony Danza through my entire pregnancy.
- I lost a friend today because I sent an email about her to her instead of to my husband. I'm the worlds biggest jackass. The things I said were true but if I said it to her I would have been nicer. She got married Saturday
- I want to smack my friend's daughter up side the head every time the daughter makes a racist comment.
- Got a MAD crush on my Zumba instructor. We're both married with kids, I've never been attracted to a woman before but I am brainstorming how to hit on her and...I got nothing. Damn she's a good dancer.
- I use my student loan money to stockpile. I regret nothing.
- I'm sorry, I know it's just a movie but there is NO way 3 foster care brats would be as adorably well adjusted as the ones in Despicable Me. They're such saccharine little asswipes that I can't even watch the movie.
- I want to kill my husband and live off the insurance money, but it's not that much. Guess he lives another day.
- I don't take the kids to the playground because of Mosquitos. They can play in the lame backyard that is treated.
- I'm pregnant and have no idea how to tell this guy. He's gonna flip and beg for termination. Which I do not wanna have. His a dick I hope my kid doesn't turn out like him
- I just learned how to masturbate. I am 32. Finally. Don't have to rely on anyone to get the job done.
- I pee in the shower. And in the bath. I can't help it. Even if I go to the bathroom before I get in it just happens. Every time!
- I'm using this pregnancy as an excuse to be a piss poor, lazy wife and mother. DH let's me get away with it, I love him.