- I don't feel a sense of accomplishment when I don't shave everything at once.
- I wish this baby would stay inside me forever. I'm terrified of newborns!
- When the kids move out, I am never cooking again, never going grocery shopping, and I'm going to buy a white couch!
- I was reading SM confessions while finishing pumping and absent mindedly turned the knob the wrong way - full power instead of off. Aaaaarrrgh!
- He gave me custody papers today. I can't bring myself to sign them. It really is over.
- dh got himself a vibrating back massager :D I just had 3 orgasms
- I like to pretend I take my daughter out to eat on Friday after work b/c it's a bonding experience . It's complete bullshit, she 22 months, she doesn't give a fuck where we eat! It's so my fat ass can eat out!
- My oldest kicked her sister in the head. Had to think of a punishment. Decided she can go trick or treating, but must give me all her candy. It's a win-win!!
- I work in a hospital. Whenever I see a patient who weighs about what I weigh I always think "I know I don't look like that"
- My smart 8 year old makes me feel like I Am Sam.
- Eating a bunch of Taco Bell right now. I am going to regret it later.
- I consider myself straight, but I think if I every had the chance to cross the line with another woman, I would. Just for one night.
- I regret not being able to have an affair with my history teacher in high school.
- Today I quit my job without notice. Fuck those assholes. Plus I stole a bunch of markers and post its. Im a grad student and I need then. Ok! Im so relieved! Starting a new job monday! Woohoo!
- My BF couldn't give me more than "I'm sorry to hear that" when my grandmother passed. So fuck him, I blocked that mother fucker from being able to reach me.
- Trying for baby number 2 is making me hate sex