- I don't feel a sense of accomplishment when I don't shave everything at once.
- So...sometimes when my 3 and 4 year old piss me off in stores I walk just fast enough that they think they're lost so they'll keep up.But it could be obvious I'm trying to lose my kids.
- When I get high, I get so motivated to turn my act around and get passionate about life and discover who I am!! I get shit done and make plans! Then I sober up and accept my slow march towards death. I need to get high more.
- I'm honestly a little fat. Probably about 220lbs and I've had two kids vaginally... but I still think my vag looks pretty cute.
- I just ate a huge, varied and very healthy salad washed down with two huge glasses of water... so I wouldn't feel so guilty about eating cookies and big soft hot pretzels.
- I spent more money at failing breastfeeding than I did on a years supply of speciality formula
- It's our anniversary today. We celebrated with cake we didn't share with the screaming 3yr old.
- Dh left. I have lost over 10 lbs this week. Just can't eat. Probably not healthy but I am at 292. So losing it is a win right?
- Watching Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Making the Team and eating ice cream after kids are asleep. Awesome night.
- I never take my prenatal vitamins. Not once in 36 weeks.
- You think I'd have more patience after birthing 3 babies. Nope! Sorry honey, mommy has no time for whatever bullshit reason you're crying.
- I sit by my son's bed at night so he can fall asleep. Most of the time I sit here for an hour after he's asleep playing on my phone so I don't have to deal with dh. Or face the mess that he refuses to help clean up.
- Ever changed the way a door swung so you could put a dresser in front of it because your H threatened to kill you?? I have, gotta wait till SD gets picked up in the am to leave currently barricaded in my room w DD13mo :(
- The kids are asleep. All I want to do is drink wine and eat cupcakes. Screw the dishes!
- I can't handle vomit. I have no problems with any other bodily substance, but puke makes me puke.
- Is it wrong that I love the fact my poor DS has seasonal allergies and I get to legitimately dose him with Benadryl every night during Sept\Oct March-May!! (I am Evil)