- I don't feel a sense of accomplishment when I don't shave everything at once.
- I'm such a psycho mom that I have all three of my kids' umbilical stumps saved away!
- I love my dad way more than I love my mom.
- There's a dad who's son takes the same karate class as my daughter. This dad is not only drop dead gorgeous, he also has an Irish accent. SWOOOOOON X _ X
- I borderline hate my stepkid. Everything he does annoys the shit out of me. I have know idea how he is even related to DH!!!!
- I gaslight my own children; that shit really works!
- I hate my grown step child. This makes me want to divorce my husband.
- I used to be so pretty. I wouldn't even know where to start anymore.
- I went into labor with my 3rd (on my actual due date), called the nanny service, asked a neighbor to drive me to hospital. Where was DH? On a 10 day hunting (drinking) trip with his buddies. Pretty much sums up our marriage.
- I dont have a drinking, drug, smoking, gambling or any kind addictive problem. But I know if I ever started one I wouldn't find a way out of it.
- Hubby's groan when I first take him in my mouth gets me wetter than anything else
- When H and I have sex without a condom and I know I haven't taken my BC correctly, I immediately think I'm pregnant! I iust know it. I'm nauseous and moody. lol I over react until I get my period
- I'm all about this body positivity stuff, but how come none of these BBW look like me naked? I'm not solid, I'm flabby. Not necessarily proud of it, but damn. You wanna talk about ALL bodies...include ALL FUCKING BODIES.
- I love the smell of my dogs stinky tuna breath
- I thought or someone else during sex this morning
- I sometimes masturbate at work, I can't help it. It's the only place I can get away from everyone!