- So glad you called. I love to hear about your perfect house and all the stuff you bought. Just give me a minute - I can't hear over DD coughing. Yup, she's sick again. Sorry, what was that about how great your life is?
- I'm going to go spend money we don't have. I'm a penny punching coupon clipping crazy bitch about money but i feel like I deserve something nice today.
- Had amazing sex last night w/DH, he mad me orgasm for 3 minutes straight! I'm still shaky and sore! WoooHooo!
- In my household we clean everything with baby wipes...everything. They are always just right there and so convenient.
- My husband woke me up in the middle of the night... to change the sheets because he peed the bed.
- I make my kids brush their teeth every night but almost never do myself.
- After spending 4 broke years stealing food from the store to feed my kids my husband finally got a great job. Now I'm sitting in the suburbs drinking chardonnay at 11 on a Saturday , celebrating we made it!
- This SAHD fixes his DW breakfast in bed on one weekend morning because she needs a morning to be lazy after 5:45am wakup calls all week. No reciprocal sex is expected or given but I sure wouldn't turn down a BJ.
- I could be at soccer, or on a hike, or doing housework. Instead I am in bed, enjoying SM. Zero fucks given.
- My husband told me to stare at my diamond when I am annoyed with him. At this point it should be on the double digits of carat weight!
- I wish these were audio confessions so that I could listen to them instead of reading them while driving...complete with a creepy voice changer of course!
- I really want to have another child and am going through fertility treatments, but part of me thinks it might be a mistake because I'm not sure my marriage can survive another baby :-/
- Going away for the weekend and will be back by bedtime tomorrow. The way my DD7 is acting, you would think it is the end of the world! I promise, you will be fine & so will I!
- I opened a bunch of credit cards I have no intention of paying just because I want nice things for myself
- DS is going to yet another Frozen themed birthday party with the singing Elsa and Ana. The other mommies and I have invented a Frozen drinking game. Keeps us from using Elsa as a pinata.
- My sweet baby crawled in bed with me and cuddled up this morning and proceeded to tinkle all over me and my clean sheets. Its like he came in just to pee on me! That's crazy and I'm sure it wasn't on purpose but still mad!