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Scary Mommy Confessions

Confession #176726

  • So glad you called. I love to hear about your perfect house and all the stuff you bought. Just give me a minute - I can't hear over DD coughing. Yup, she's sick again. Sorry, what was that about how great your life is?

More Confessions

  • My friend moved in w/her bf & is now purging the house of all the ex wife's shit. I scored some really nice bath towels & dishes. She was gonna just throw that shit away.

  • I allowed my 20 month old to play with my thong that he pulled out of the dirty laundry so I could get ready for the day in peace.

  • I lost my temper on DS2 today. Whacked his bum like 6x and then when he wouldn't stop crying I smacked his face. I'm a momster. DD4 held me while I cried after. I just lost my temper. I feel sick I feel so bad.

  • DS11 got recruited to be in Science Bowl next year. He doesn't even know what that means, but I'm pretty fucking impressed!

  • I am irrationally afraid of someone breaking into my house at night and going BTK on me.

  • DD is my world, but sometimes I swear I love the dogs an equal amount as I love her. Idk if that makes me a shitty parent or just a super great pet owner.

  • I'm 7 months pregnant and you can't even tell. That's how fat I am. I have to actually tell people I'm pregnant.

  • I never wash the blankets on our guest bed, only the sheets!

  • I use leftover hot dog & hamburger buns to make garlic toast.

  • During my lunch break I sat in my car, pulled off my mascara, then reapplied it. Not sure why I did that....it looked fine to begin with.

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