Scary Mommy Confessions

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Confession #185215

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  • I am currently drinking a Smirnoff and watching orange is the new black. Ds8 is playing outside and dd2 is coloring on the wall. Mommy fail, but mommy needs a mental break.
  • If these kids don't go to sleep and that rooster doesn't stop crowing, someone is going to have a very bad day. Probably the rooster.
  • DH finally got 2 quick promotions. Good money, dress up. Only drawback is all his assistants are young women. They fawn all over him and when I am there I could just slap them all. I stuck out the tough times, go away.
  • DH was a Linguist in the service. He speaks several asian languages. I take him to the nail salon so I can find out what they are saying but he usually spoils it all by saying hello in their language and they all go quiet.
  • I am always negative and mean and annoyed by my dd7 and my mother was the same way. I am fucked up because of her and I know Im doing the same to my kids but don't know how to stop. I feel bad afterward but she makes me nuts
  • Despite what my in laws gripe at me I do not think I'm better than everyone. But I'm damn straight better than them.
  • I just reported one of our cars as an abandoned vehicle. Now DH is going to have to fix it, sell it or clean out the garage and mothball it. Sneaky I know, but that's what you get when you ignore the wifey!
  • I do not find Ryan gosling, Channing Tatum, Tom cruise, or brad Pitt attractive. I also think that their acting is mediocre. I'm also straight and love sex.
  • I wanna punch people who call St Paddys day St Pattys, grrrrrrrrr
  • I pretend to respect my in-laws' religion - Evangelical Christianity - but secretly I know I'd perceive them as smarter if their faith were virtually anything else - mainline P, Jewish, Catholic, Buddhist, whatever.

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