Scary Mommy - Scary Mommy Confessions


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Scary Mommy Confessions

  • I have convinced dc there is a lego bandit who steals all their legoes if they leave them out of the box. Since they have disappeared twice already, they now put them away like their life depends on it. Mom win!

  • I wish I could love parenting the way other people do.

  • Whenever DC wake me up in the middle of the night, I end up resenting them all the next day.

  • I'm a teacher. At this point of the year 90% of my students annoy the shit out of me. I can't wait to hand them all off to their parents for the summer!!!

  • Currently hiding in the bathroom smoking a blunt

  • I got turned on watching teenage mutant ninja turtles...might be time to get laid?

  • Put my work out dvd in... didn't even get two minutes into it and put in a movie... I'll be fat forever.

  • I always crop myself out of pictures or delete them. I worry my kids won't have any pics of me if I die but there a select few I've kept because I look skinnier than usual.

  • I have a mega crush on a dad at my kids school. He is not my type at all. But, something about him makes me want to rip my clothes off. Sigh, guess the clothes stay on...monogamy sucks.

  • I hate the mom I become at bath time. A screaming lunatic of a mother.

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