Scary Mommy Confessions

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  • I would totally have sex with DD16's high school band director. I have 2 younger kids and 6 more years in dealing with him. I didn't volunteer for band boosters vice-president for nothing.
  • DS rolled off the sofa two days ago. Everyone said it would happen eventually but I feel like the worst mother ever. I can't stop thinking about it.
  • Sometimes I envision myself getting into a non fatal car accident just to get away from my family for a while. 2 weeks or so in the hospital, people taking care of me.... rehab. This is my only hope of a vacation
  • Dog just ate my Easter eggs. Better that shit on his hips than mine
  • Finally made the decision. I think I should have gastric bypass surgery. I'm 29 5'2" and weigh 360 pounds. I'm scared of dying young. I'm also scared of the surgery.
  • Dinner was 9 Cadbury eggs and a bottle of wine.
  • if I could stop consuming massive amounts of junk food & soda, I would be hot. You know, aside from the nursed out boobs/stretch marks. I train daily but nobody knows it b/c junk keeps me fat. Diet starts Monday! Again.
  • My 15 mo DD is trying to wean herself, but I won't let her because BFing is the only thing that's keeping me in a size 4 jeans. I've never been a size 4. I want to stay this small as long as possible without exercising
  • DD17mo just discovered belly buttons. Which is cute, except my belly button smells weird and she can't keep her stabby little fingers out of it :(
  • Went for a drive to clear my mind. Thought about getting a hotel room and not coming home tonight or driving to the airport and flying somewhere. I just need to get away from my horrible marriage!

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