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Scary Mommy Confessions

Confession #197147

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  • I want to drink every night. I did not want to drink this much in college. Thanks toddlers.

  • I listen to black metal while lifting at the gym.

  • Mowed the yard for 2 hrs today to get a break from kids and it was glorious. But then I stood up and stepped off the lawnmower, I promptly peed my pants.

  • I just registered Republican.

  • I just said "ha! Karma bitch" to my two year old

  • Had an abortion May 1st, that day is always hard for me. I used to love this time of year. It's been 23 years. It's something I'll never get over.

  • Everyone seems to think because I have a one and a half year old that I must want a night out but I actually love that I have an excuse to stay in, watch random TV, and go to bed at 9.

  • My husband says I can get a girlfriend. And maybe he will play with her too. Omg I'm so excited

  • The only thing keeping me sane is adult coloring. Seriously, I have an app and two paper books. I'm getting pretty good at ignoring the kids when I zone in.

  • DS, 4 years old, was looking sad at bedtime. I asked him if anything was wrong. He says, "Momma I feel bad because you don't have a penis. Touching mine makes me happy." Gotta love boys..

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