- I weigh 250 lbs.
- 35 and still afraid there's a monster under my bed and another hiding in the closet.
- I hate it when homeless people ask for money. I want to help, but terrified they'll be one of the psycho ones that pull a knife and start stabbing.
- My ds4 has a lisp. Whenever he says Percy it sounds exactly like "pussy" I always ask him questions just to hear him talk about his "pussy" train. I find it funny. My dh of 7 years just left me because I'm immature.
- I rush to pick the kids up after work everyday so excited to see them and have a fun day. Then I spend the next 5 hours screaming at them until I can put them in bed. I suck at this mom shit.
- I grew up in the 70's and 80's and, dammit - this shaved pussy look that's become the norm just ain't right!
- DH and I haven't slept in the same bed for almost 6 years. Miss the sex, but I miss him grabbing my breast and pressing his morning hard on against my ass even more.
- There is a HOT young guy at work, like 15 years younger. Every time he comes by, I get all hot and bothered!!
- I used to hate that I looked young. Now, as a 37 year old wife and mother, I love it! I consider looking young my superpower.
- Just baked some brownies. After I put the kids to bed, I'm going to smoke a joint and eat the whole batch. Hey, after 1 year of breastfeeding, not smoking and watching what I eat, I deserve this!
- I am a much better person and Mom stoned. I feel like it just chills me out which enables me to enjoy the moment. Not sure what that says about me exactly.
- My H will be off work for the next four days....kill me now.
- On the rare occasion that I decide to cuddle with my LO, hang out all day, and the do bare minimum around the house I make sure to at least swiffer before my H gets home so it smells like I've done something.
- When I'm too lazy to wash H's uniform, I spray the stinky parts down with laundry spray, wet the clothes in the sink a little and toss them in the dryer. Works well, actually.
- I have cheated on my h since we got married 4 yrs ago. I have never been in love with him. But I stay b/c of our dd. I am in love with the other man and have been since b4 I met my h. The only prob is he is married 2.