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Scary Mommy Confessions

Confession #197155

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  • I hate dogs. I think they are gross and smelly and do not want them licking me. But I pretend to like them in front of friends because villains in movies always hate dogs and I don't want anyone to think I'm a villain.

  • I miscarried last November. I was upset at first, then relieved because I realized I don't want children with my DF. Now I need to make DF my XF.

  • I weigh myself with my arms stretched out about my head because I'm convinced it makes me weigh less. I'm ridiculous.

  • When I'm too tired or want me time, I plug my kids on the Ipad and WiiU. #ElectronicBabysitter

  • I have endo and it's ruining me. I'm tired and in pain all the time, and terrified that DD2 has inherited it from me. I'm so sorry, baby :'(

  • I'm almost 30 and never have had an orgasm...

  • Sometimes when I am pissed at my husband I give him the double bird when he isn't looking. Makes me feel better.

  • My husband has $120K in educational debt and I am 99.9% sure he will never ever make a living by working in his degree field.

  • I'd be horrified if cps took my kids but I'd be relieved if they were placed with a better family. I wish I'd done things differently over the last 5 years. I'm a great mother at the expense of my own soul.

  • I will breastfeed anywhere, but I won't pump in front of anyone, not even DH.

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