Scary Mommy Confessions

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Confession #197156

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  • I feel the need to take a pregnancy test but I'm too scared to tell anyone. Not having sickness or anything, just a gut feeling.
  • My son is almost three months old and he's had 3 baths in total since he was born, not including the one in the hospital. What, it's cold!
  • If there were a contest for the best husband, mine would win hands down. Cooks, cleans, shops, does laundry (folds AND puts away), listens, great dad, and rocks my world. Married 20+ years. WTH does he see in me?
  • I sent my ex elephant poop and he had no idea it was me! He told me about it and even showed it to me, trying to figure it out. I will so it again in like, 2 years... just for fun.
  • Somehow managed to still get enough presents to make it not be depressing under the xmas tree. I know a ton of relatives are buying for dd4 but I wanted her to know Santa didn't forget her. So relieved!
  • So I want to have an affair, but scared to do it. Mostly happy with our life, but I think about it alot. It drives me crazy imagining it. But I wouldn't even know how to start one.
  • I don't shave my legs or my lady parts when I go out without my husband in an effort to make myself behave and not mess around with another man. Or woman.
  • I had amazing sex with my fwb. 3 hours later I had amazing sex with my husband. I'm going to hell. At least I showered before my husband got sloppy seconds.
  • the amount of oral sex dh performs on me has a direct correlation to how intimate we are on an emotional level. connected means he goes down like a vulture. no connection, its the Sahara.
  • heard dh whispering something in the bedroom. think he was talking himself through masturbation.
  • I cannot go upstairs to get dressed today, ds in his room 'tidying' and if I have to see what he's actually doing I will have to confiscate his toys......
  • Everything my ds 5 is given he destroys - he's such a spoiled brat that we are seriously considering wrapping up coal to fill his stocking. The presents in the loft may end up donated at this rate....
  • Nearly noon and I'm in dressing gown smoking my 10th cig since 7 am.... we're into negative numbers of fucks given today, passed zero at eight am with Ds 5's third screaming fit at no to more chocolate....
  • I feel less like a middle class adult now that we live in an apartment.
  • I love my husband but I don't think I'm in love with him anymore. But I won't divorce him because the idea of sharing custody of our child upsets me to no end.

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