- Feeling uber sad today. Becoming overwhelmed...things look great on the outside, inside I want to curl up and hide for days.
- I'm calling CPS on my friend because she's drugging her kid up on Benadryl every night. I want them to take them away from her, he's two and a drug addict. So fucked up.
- I am turned on by latin cashiers in our mall, I think they suspect it
- When I cry or have a cold, I just blow my nose right into my shirt. I'm environmentally friendly :D
- When in 7th grade, I was fucked by my female jewish English teacher. As a result, now I have a closet fetish for jewish chicks
- I washed the outside windows in my underwear.
- The last time I had sex, there was still a Soviet Union...
- After a 2-week meditation retreat, I sometimes feel like my head is catching a wave of some latin radio station ))
- I copy and collect the dirty confessions from here ))
- I'M NOT PREGNANT! THANK THE LORD!!!
- Every time DH "doesn't hear" DS wake up in the middle is the night, I want to smother him with a pillow for not helping me
- I'm applying for a PhD not because I want to do research. I really just want the title next to my signature.
- I just had to go into the bathroom at work and rinse jizz out of the front of my shirt. It wasn't there before lunch...oops!
- I just throw out any leftovers after everyone eats because I know no one, including me, is ever going to eat them.
- I have an IUD whose failure rate is less than .5%, and I still fear pregnancy like death.
- DD4mths has gas, never thought I was be so excited for someone to fart in my lap repeatedly.