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Scary Mommy Confessions

Confession #197165

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  • Walked in on my younger dd mimicking me to older dd. Apparently, I stick my teeth out like a beaver & wobble my head when I talk?

  • When I was a kid I used to make my Barbie "do it" with my brother's G.I. Joe doll.

  • Dd7 wants so desperately to be one of the popular kids. I want her to be nerdy and introverted like I was/am just so I don't have to deal with all that bullshit.

  • I am an alcoholic. This isn't AA, but I needed to admit it to someone.

  • I eat my boogers, bite my nails, pick at scabs...then turn around and tell my kids how gross they are being when they do the same.

  • We're under investigation by CPS because my infant had trouble gaining. They told us we were clear until we had a plateau week. They are coming back and I keep thinking I would rather die than let them back in my house.

  • Hearing my children role play bedtime with their baby dolls made me cringe. I guess our routine sounds a lot like, GO TO SLEEP NOW DAMNIT! Feeling awful.

  • I have no fear telling people that I send my kids to preschool so that I don't have to do crafts with with. It's true.

  • I drink every night. It's the only way to cope with being a sahm to a fucking whiny 3 year old and a new born

  • I have such a fat belly, I look like I'm 6 months pregnant. In so insecure about it. I've actually lost count of the times people have asked when I'm due or tried to rub my belly. It's just fat!

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