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Scary Mommy Confessions

Confession #197170

  • Why is it that when you are sick it's a license to be an ass? If I acted like that you'd put me in my place REAL quick. So pissed. Wonder why you're getting no sympathy? Yeah, I'm busy fucker.

More Confessions

  • I act like people who overshare on social media are annoying, but in truth they are my favorite reality TV show and I love how superior they make me feel.

  • My 2 yo is my most favorite person in the world to hang out with.

  • I have crushes on Jon Stewart and Trevor Noah. Mm mm... news :)

  • Almost burned dinner tonight, cuz I got distracted playing Cooking Mama on my phone. Fail.

  • Splurged on expensive sheets. Bled on them the first night. My uterus hates me.

  • DD10 is a funny, confident, gorgeous, awesome nerd. She gets it from her father and from me. I love it, and she has lots of friends, and loves herself, but sometimes I wish she could be more girly.

  • I enrolled in Zumba and yoga. I tell my husband I'm heading out for the class and head to a coffee shop to sip a latte and read instead.

  • Just a reservist, first time got out of the army I got fat. Rejoined and got out and fat again. I'm probably going to be 600 pounds being a civilian

  • I like the smell of my 3 yr old's stinky feet.

  • I'm proud of my "Resting Bitch Face"

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