- I have PMS, my husband has been working 60+ hour weeks for the past three weeks, and the 3 kids are driving me nuts. I will be awake for the next 36 hours because I work night shift. Fuck.
- so asleep last night when dd11 came in asking for melatonin i gave her 3 thyroid pills instead.she said mom u gave me nasty pills last night.omg. poison control said no prob.but huge mom fail! And why didn't she realize? :(
- Just thinking about a certain someone makes me all giddy and tingly. If DH knew the real reason I'm in such a good mood he wouldn't be so happy.
- I plan on teaching my son to sit on a toilet and stand at a urinal. No cheerio target practice for him
- My husband pays no attention to me. So I overspend on stuff we don't need as attention seeking behavior. Even that doesnt make him notice me.
- Parents complained all through college about how much money I was costing them. Got stressed & left early. 6 mos later received loan bills in my name-they hadn't paid for a dime. Still can't afford to pay loans, still angry
- Love coming home to a clean house, laundry done and baby asleep after a long day of work. DH may not buy me flowers or little gifts but he helps out with everything else. Im blessed
- I am completely utterly terrified of having my eyes dilated. My 250lb husband has to sit on me to put eye drops in even for allergies and my 7 yr old has to hold my head
- The scale said 199 today!!!!!!! First time under 200 in over a year!!! Baby is 9 months, about freakin time!!!! Want to tell everyone!
- H went down on me, giving me an intense orgasm. We had sex after & when he pulled out, shark week was apparently not over. He said nothing, went downstairs and rinsed his mouth with scotch, came back and cuddled me. LOVE HIM!
- If I get more than a dozen cutesy or inspirational memes/graphics cluttering my FB newsfeed from a friend, that friend will become a "hidden" friend.
- I am so jealous of SAHMs. I know the grass isn't necessarily greener, but damn I'd at least like to have the option.
- I think Little Big Town is the most annoying music group ever.
- Whenever I feel sad I reread the flirty emails I exchanged with a work crush. It makes me happy until I remember he left last year. I miss him...
- F**k the terrible twos. Just called DD a "little bitch". This is not what I signed up for.
- my daughter was late for preschool because i was playing on SM and lost track of time! woops