- I have PMS, my husband has been working 60+ hour weeks for the past three weeks, and the 3 kids are driving me nuts. I will be awake for the next 36 hours because I work night shift. Fuck.
- When I'm sick I NEVER cough up the phlegm stuck in my throat and spit it out. Too scared I'm going to choke on it. I just swallow it back down.
- I love to masturbate to cheating wife porn, I would die if DH knew.
- I'm watching the documentary 'cocaine cowboys' and could go for a line right now. It's been almost ten years!
- After feeling fat for days, I happened to look in a mirror as I walk walking in the mall and thought "Wow, who's that?" Then realized it was me. Score!!
- I love my DH but when he snores and I can't sleep, I want to decapitate him.
- I'd be an alcoholic if it weren't for all the calories
- When we were maybe 7 , a neighbor girl took me in the bathroom of her house and rubbed my clit til I almost came. She humped me a bit too. Both married with kids now, but I'm curious about her years later.
- I fucked myself with the biggest cucumber I had in the fridge today. Then ate it for lunch..... Mmmm so horny
- I'd LOVE to record my SIL talking about fancy restaurants, brand name clothes, constant water park visits & pricey sport leagues for her bratty kid. Then replay the recording when she complains she & my BIL can't pay bills.
- I didn't go to open school night tonite and I don't care
- I have slept with over one hundred men and I think it's awesome.
- I mouthed nasty things behind my boss's back today.
- DD3's behavior brings out the very worst parts of my personality. I hate being a bitch all the time
- I really, really wanna build some kind of a latched top for DS3's crib, like a lid, to keep him from climbing out so I can get a couple hours of not-toddler-insanity every day. I can only imagine the horrified reactions.
- I love the smell of my own farts. Sometimes I will fart on my hand and smell it to really get the full potential out of my fart!!!! The louder and stinkier...The better!!!