Scary Mommy Confessions

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Confession #197185

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  • I married my dh because he knocked me up for the third time out of wedlock
  • My pastor use look at me out of his office window, watch my ass as I walked by, look at my breasts when he preached. Two times he got a boner during worship while he stared at me. My husband was a deacon at the time.
  • I'm a 37 year old wife and mom, educated, good job, nice house and car... but I pick and eat my own boogers... a lot.
  • I spend 2+ hours in the bathroom when I shower. Only about 15 minutes is spent on hygiene. The rest is spent reading, watching netflix on my phone or drawing in my sketchbook. It's the only way I can get time to myself.
  • When I see a newly pregnant woman glowing and smiling on social media, all I can do is laugh to myself and think "you're so fucked."
  • So depressed...may take kids and pets and disappear...
  • I just accidentally broke my bf's dd12's pasta bowl she made in pottery. I am secretly thrilled by the thought of her crying over it when she realizes it's gone. Fuck you, you little attention stealing bitch.
  • I don't wash my salad greens, I never sterilize my cutting board ( which I use for EVERYTHING) and we drink unpasteurized milk. OTOH I go out of my way to avoid touching stuff in public restrooms. Family germs, right?
  • I like porn more than anyone I've ever been with. I have a high libido, I'm freaky and I'm bi so porn is just more convenient, but I would love to act some of it out. Especially, DH watching as I make another chic cum!
  • Ds9 says he will work to make $$ to give me. Doesn't want to have bday party bc it's too expensive. I tell him we have enough but we struggle. Hate being a single mom. My heart is broken.
  • Period ended sept 2nd. Period started again today. Days like today I want to donate my uterus to a transgender. Want to be a woman try this shit out!
  • soo, i used to hate wine. now i love it. happy buzz and no hangover in the morning. however, i am starting to worry about the bottles piling up in the recycling. maybe i should just throw them away, especially before dh sees
  • Been with DH 6 years, both in our 20s. I want to fuck his brothers 17 year old friend more than anything on this planet.
  • Never understood the idea of being willing to do "anything for love." Until I met my DF. I really would do literally anything for him, and have straight up planned out the murder of any bitch who tries to come between us.
  • Last night after I found out he cheated, my fiancé punched, with great force I might add, the pillow beside my head. I'm too scared to leave or say anything to anyone.

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