Scary Mommy - Scary Mommy Confessions

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Scary Mommy Confessions

Confession #197185

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  • I'm very tempted to fake an illness to avoid spending Memorial Day with my in laws.

  • 4 years ago we got food stamps for six months. We never told anyone. We needed a little hand up. Since then we both got great jobsWe worked our asses off and our first house is closing next month

  • Kiddos got their first hula hoop and asked me to teach them how to use it. I don't know how. Feel like such a failure.

  • DD10 asked "does anybody know what time it is?" And I said "Tool Time with Tim the tool man Taylor!" Now she's confused and I'm old.

  • My kid vomited this morning. I heaved and made my husband take care of her. I can't even take care of my kid when she feels her worst. I suck.

  • I wish I loved my chunky thighs and round face as much as I love my baby's chunky thighs and round face.

  • Super hot body after two kids. Size 4 and tan. However, give me THREE days and I'll show you a full beard and mustache. And sideburns...

  • I'm sure it's offensive to anyone who has a spouse deployed...but I pretend H is deployed to make myself feel better that he does NOTHING to help around the house or with the kids. Laziest person ever.

  • My showering regime is so intensive I avoid showering. 2 times a week, max

  • I switched to black coffee because the skinniest women I know live on it.

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