Scary Mommy Confessions
- I fucking hate when I get in the car, and THEN notice that I missed a huge spot shaving my legs!
- I am making Dh work extra hours to buy me new bobos. Little does he know i plan on using them to become a *cough stripper cough* I mean "barrender" so i can leave his sorry ass and move on with my life.
- My H snores so fucking loud!! In his sleep,I pinch his nose shut and cover his mouth so it will wake him up and he'll stop snoring. Bad wifey! He chokes himself awake :(
- I think I'm finally pregnant!
- In the past 2 weeks, I've ordered a vibrator and shit to wax my lady parts. My amazon feed is very...interesting.
- Sometimes I want to go into premature labor just so I don't have to be pregnant anymore :( I am an awful and selfish mother.
- Just krazy glued my fingers trying to fix my son's toy :/
- I wish I had the guts to rob a bank. We really need the money and I am so unhappy becuase of it.
- For 9 months my crack and vag have itched like a mofo. Dr. Cant find a prob. Every cream vitamin hippy idea never works. I scratch myself RAW somedays. Why me??????;
- Sometimes I really wish I had looser morals.
- I yelled at my 3 yr old daughter yesterday because I'd found a huge leak inside the walls. I just wanted her to go to sleep so I could deal with it and she didn't want to go to sleep. So I yelled at her.