- I want to play on the kids' Slipnslide, but I'm afraid my fat ass would get hurt! Imagine explaining that in the ER. "Yes, sir, I'm 40 years old, 250 pounds, and I broke my tailbone on a SlipnSlide"
- Dh said he's ready for a vasectomy, not sure if I am.
- When the kids are older I think I'll regret working overnight shift because I was too tired to do a lot of extra stuff with them. I don't have any other options though.
- I hate being the fat mom in every group
- I get unusually bummed out when I go to poop but forgot to bring my phone along.
- I watch solo female porn sometimes & DH doesn't know. No desire to be with a woman, just enjoy seeing what goes on down there.
- Nine months postpartum and I'm still gigantic. I just want to feel like a human again.
- Kind of bummed that I'm getting over the flu and getting my appetite back. It's such easy weight loss!
- My fucking daughter is soooo asking for a bitch slap. RIGHT IN HER FACE. Id love to do it too!
- I can now button my jeans without effort. The only reason is that I had a tooth pulled ten days ago and eating anything but yogurt hurts like hell.
- Cupcake and 2 beers for dinner. Mommy win!
- I let my exH buy me dinner and give me a back massage today just bc I'm lazy and have a head cold. Do not ever wanna be back with him. Totally take advantage of his undying love for me!
- DH is away in military annual training for a month, almost home! he told me another mans wife cheated & secretly, I was super excited that it wasn't me. stupid but i felt like wife of the year.
- Spent 2 hours as the ss office and was checked out the entire time by a guy while his gf death glared me. I tried to fight it, but it make me happy.
- I have hemorrhoids and nothing I do get's rid of them.. I'm so embarrassed when having sex with DH.
- told dd7 I was going to hang out with friends and she couldn't come. she responds "OHHH I didn't know mommy had any friends." Thanks kid.