Scary Mommy - Scary Mommy Confessions

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Scary Mommy Confessions

Confession #199126

  • I want to play on the kids' Slipnslide, but I'm afraid my fat ass would get hurt! Imagine explaining that in the ER. "Yes, sir, I'm 40 years old, 250 pounds, and I broke my tailbone on a SlipnSlide"

More Confessions

  • DH and I were having sex with both the bedroom curtain and the window open, and after he looks outside and said, "I think the fertilizer guy just saw us doing it. There was a guy fertilizing our grass.

  • I'm afraid my husband won't love our son like he does his son from his first marriage.

  • Eating a bowl of SUPER stale Kix. Sometimes my obsession with not throwing food away may go too far...

  • Baby #3 on the way but had a glass of wine last night. And the night before...

  • One reason I love SM is that I can simply say/feel something without everyone trying to fix me or tell me why I'm wrong (DH, family, co-workers, etc.). Thanks, SM Community!

  • I wore flip flops to work today. Whilst at work, I realized I forgot to shave my feet. :/

  • At 51, I'm still hoping to grow out of that awkward teenage phase. 51!!

  • Just farted at the obgyn. Embarrassed as hell.

  • I tell people that I enjoy eating lunch alone. In reality it's my only break from my bitch of a coworker. Now I am perceived as anti social.

  • DH and I have no friends where we live. Awesome when ppl say "what are you doing for memorial day weekend?!" Me: "nothing". FML

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