- I want to play on the kids' Slipnslide, but I'm afraid my fat ass would get hurt! Imagine explaining that in the ER. "Yes, sir, I'm 40 years old, 250 pounds, and I broke my tailbone on a SlipnSlide"
- My 11 y/o DD has turned into the biggest bitch! Praying she just needs to get her period, or I won't blame people when they say she is a snob. I flipped her off after she slammed the front door. It felt great.
- Should be decorating for my son's 1st bday party. Instead I'm sitting on SM, lazy as fuck today.
- If its a choice between pooping twice a day or having sex twice a day; i'd choose pooping every time.
- i have panic attacks before my DH has visitation with his DD, every single one since our DS was born.
- I'm secretly addicted to heroin. I snort it, no needles. I am very good at playing the great mom/wife/friend. My son is taken care of and I work over 60 hours aweek. I hate it but itmakes me feel amazing and SO motivated.
- I would rather take a bunch of 2 y/o's to the grocery store than DD6. There's something about that place that turns my normally calm child into a wild monkey!
- I'm running out of nice ways to tell my in laws to fuck off.
- For the past 24 hours all I can think about is a three way with DH and his buddy from high school. Maybe tonight it will happen...
- I'm a Pinterest Mom. I'm not trying to make other moms feel worse - I just feel awesome when I make something and it looks like the picture! And I don't have Facebook, so they stay only on Pinterest. So don't hate.
- I want more kids: but I only want boys. I don't know how to bring up a girl. The fact that I feel that way makes me feel weird.
- I'm married and I have horrible BLUE BALLS! It's the first time I've had them in my life and it's so painful . I feel so UNLOVED
- Ready to just sign my rights over. I don't want to do this anymore.
- Not at all in love w H anymore. However, I really respect him- true team player, he does so much. Plus we make incredibly cute babies!
- Can't say it IRL - my husband and female best friend have super low sex drives. So, I sleep with her husband. We get to have great sex, they don't get pestered for sex, everybody wins! Wish I had thought of this years ago.
- Just ate two sleeves of Oreos. How badly do I want to purge right now??? Enough that I am encouraging my kid to stay near me so I don't