Scary Mommy Confessions

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Confession #199126

  • I want to play on the kids' Slipnslide, but I'm afraid my fat ass would get hurt! Imagine explaining that in the ER. "Yes, sir, I'm 40 years old, 250 pounds, and I broke my tailbone on a SlipnSlide"

More Confessions

  • I've been dealing with infertility for 15 yrs. I admit (on here only!!) that I get super pissed when people complain about struggling to have another baby.
  • My kids suddenly developed phobias of small spaces (elevators, bathroom stalls, etc) since finding out my bf is not just a friend. Pretty sure they're making it up, but still don't know what to do.. Mom fail.
  • I fantasize about having my hair pulled during sex, I watch porn with it too. But when H does it, it really just annoys the shit outta me!
  • DH comes from a religious background and is trying to raise our kids to believe in God. I have a hard time believing in God, and hope my kids don't believe in him either, but I act like I'm a believer so my DH won't leave
  • We use Christmas wrapping paper year-round. Birthdays, anniversary, Valentine's Day - you name it Cheaper and easier than keeping separate categories of wrapping paper. Leaves the garbage men scratching their heads too
  • I am so regretful of having my boys circumcised, and letting my family pressure me into doing it. I feel like a jerk for not trusting my first instincts to care for them.
  • I was tricked into getting my HS sweetheart pregnant so I wouldn't go into the Army. I LOVE my daughter but every time I see her I see her trailer park trash mom and resent her. Feel like shit because of it. Daddy FAIL
  • I think a new friend of ours has a crush on DH. Not worried, but slightly annoyed because I like her.
  • Signed up at the gym on Monday... its Wednesday and I haven't gone I'm running out of excuses but truth is I was really intimidated by the people working out I'm scared/embarrassed to go :/
  • Had kfc for dinner last night and literally shit myself today while wearing my bikini. Never again kfc, NEVER again.

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