Scary Mommy - Scary Mommy Confessions

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Scary Mommy Confessions

Confession #199126

  • I want to play on the kids' Slipnslide, but I'm afraid my fat ass would get hurt! Imagine explaining that in the ER. "Yes, sir, I'm 40 years old, 250 pounds, and I broke my tailbone on a SlipnSlide"

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  • I think "when all else fails, spank your kids" is totally solid parenting advice.

  • My baby got sunburned today even with 50spf sun screen. Major mom fail:(

  • I'm at the beach this week and thought I looked ok in my suit. Looked in the mirror as I was taking it off and saw all the rolls. Like a fatsuit. Between that and the whiskers on my chin, I feel terrible.

  • Really wish I liked giving BJs. I want to do it, but just the thought makes me gag. Poor DH hasn't gotten one in over 3 years.

  • I love animals and would never do anything to hurt my pets, but I can not wait for our old dog and cat to just die already. So tired of the mess they both make.

  • I spend 3 days doing the cleaning I could do in 1 so my fireman hubs (while he's at work) will think I do a ton :)

  • Autistic/adhd dd6 is the hardest thing I've ever dealt with.

  • Today would have been my due date. I miscarried at 7 weeks and nobody knew I was pregnant. Mommy loves you angel.

  • The fact that I spanked my first two when they were small will haunt me forever. I'm so sorry.

  • Bought DH a $400 chainsaw for Father's Day, he couldn't get it started and wanted me to return it. I got it started.

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