Scary Mommy Confessions
- I want to play on the kids' Slipnslide, but I'm afraid my fat ass would get hurt! Imagine explaining that in the ER. "Yes, sir, I'm 40 years old, 250 pounds, and I broke my tailbone on a SlipnSlide"
- Majorly fucked up at work. Waiting for the axe is killing me. Boss said for me not to worry but I've only been @this job for two weeks. I love my job and would HATE to loose it! I pray that they keep me!
- I don't want my sons Dad to come to his bday party...He's such a downer....He. Is. my. husband:(
- I secretly try to make every male I meet fall in love with me.
- I got a "no questions asked favor" birthday coupon from DH. I'm going to tell him to become estranged from his mother.
- I refused to bond with my babies during my pregnancy because I was convinced they would die. I feel guilty that I wasn't a belly rubbing, singing to my fetus kind of expecting mother. :/
- I never wash or clean my babies toys. A little dirt never hurt anybody!
- I love my babies, but inside of my head I scream "LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!"
- I watch porn on my phone while breastfeeding :-O
- Just spilled a huge glass of water into my "private drawer"...im praying I can get it all dried out before I'm busted in a way that takes too long to recover from.
- My Dh had to lie to the car loan place for us to keep our vehicle. Told them we're getting a divorce & I ran with the money. They made an arrangement for us to pay 650 of the 2000 we're behind.