- FREEDOM! Mom took my daughter to best buy, DH took our boys to see their great granny...im allll alone. And a lil sick so i have every reason to curl up in a dark room and fall asleep and no one can give me hell! =)
- I don't consider my masturbation sessions with my vibrator complete until I make myself cum at least 3 times.
- I secretly believe most stereotypes to be true. I think our society is way too concerned with being politically correct.
- When both kids are (miraculously) napping at the same time, I hide out in my bed with junk food and play Plants vs Zombies.
- Sometimes I fake a hormonal pregnancy cry fest to get out of going to social obligations.
- My husband hates peanut butter so I purposely buy a bunch of stuff with it as an ingredient so I know he won't eat all my pregnancy snacks.
- I have 3 boys. Youngest is 5 months old. I am late. I am scared.
- I'm a very articulate, well read person. My dh is not bright at all. Sometimes, after he's said something especially stupid, I wonder how on earth he managed to graduate past 6th grade
- Three kids...useless self centered husband...what I wouldn't do to be locked in my house ALONE for 24 hours just to get some stuff done.
- When the kids start vomiting, I will spew like in the fucking Exorcist. Once, the dog ran over to eat my dd's vomit and I swear I thought I was gonna have to be hospitalized. Before motherhood, I had a cast-iron stomach.
- Afraid anti-depressants are turning me into sociopath. Don't give a flying fuck about anyone but myself these days & everyone else annoys the shit out of me. But off them I am a crying mess. Can't decide which is worse
- I drink my daughter's juice boxes and eat cupcakes while she naps then I run around cleaning up all the evidence as soon as she wakes up.
- 2nd marriage. Hate what DH family calls grandparents - makes me want to throat punch them b/c to me Gommie and Gompie sounds soooo stupid. That shit ends in this generation.
- Been married 6 mo to DH - we both have trauma history from childhood and it's really fucking hard. We needed couples therapy even BEFORE we got married. Really hard to be close to someone when all you've ever known is pain.
- Everyone always talks about how hard motherhood is. It's not a cake walk, but it's not hard for me and I worry that I'm doing it wrong.
- I just pleasured myself with a fruit and a starchy vegetable. Houston, we have a problem.