Scary Mommy Confessions

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Confession #199131

  • FREEDOM! Mom took my daughter to best buy, DH took our boys to see their great granny...im allll alone. And a lil sick so i have every reason to curl up in a dark room and fall asleep and no one can give me hell! =)

More Confessions

  • I have this weird habit of wanting to paint a little *superglue* on my hands or fingers, then peel it off with my teeth and chew on it... This can't possibly be healthy!! (Am I poisoning myself?) Yet it's sooo addictive...
  • My phone no longer auto corrects fuck, fucking, & fucker. Winning!!
  • My husband soends $200+ on toy trains while I'm shopping at the super market with food Stamos...winner winner
  • Bf & I are drifting further and further apart...& the more his behavior irks me (God he's so immature it's horrifying), the more I can't stand the thought of him even TOUCHING me. How can it go from attraction to *this*?!
  • I walk around the house naked a lot. Yes I have 4 sons, and yes my eldest is 12. So what? Life is too short to be prude. And no, none of them thinks it's awkward. They're used to it.
  • Not only would I never, ever do the things that get me off in fantasies IRL, I don't think they'd get me off IRL either. Maybe that's because in my fantasies I'm single and smokin' hot, with breasts to die for....
  • DS9 has put down the iPad in favour of reading Harry potter. Seeing him reading by choice makes me feel like super mum!
  • I have always impulse shopped my Blues away, but recently it escalated to impulse shopping for live animals. God help us, Im turning into a cat lady. My husband should start being nicer to me or this house will be a zoo.
  • So my DH and I can't have kids together. Meanwhile, his 19 y/o daughter from a previous relationship has just made him a grandfather.. :-/
  • My 4YO acts like a wild animal when guests come over. Seriously, autistic children are better behaved and have better social skills than my toddler. Frustrated and Embarrassed. About to give up on ever having adult convo ever
  • I say horrible things when I'm exhausted.
  • I lie and say my 2 older children are my husband's so I don't have to tell people I have 3 different fathers to my children.
  • I hate when my dw complains about being a sahm. I wanted to stay home but she said people would think I'm gay. Now all she does in complain that she's fat and cry. She never cleans and hired a nanny for 2 days! Seriously?!
  • DD4 got a play manicure set, & has been wanting to do "manicures" (paint nails w water/give lotion massage) on everyone. We were visiting gramps, when she started loudly offering FREE HANDJOBS to all the elderly residents..
  • On a late night Target trip (alone!), I was lingering in the baby section, smelling lotions, when another young mom came up & made conversation for a cpl min. I wanted desperately to run after her & beg her to be my new bff!!

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